Table manners anyone?

Markit

Markit

Well-Known Member
My question isn't important or terribly meaningful but it has been bothering me now for a couple of years and I can't decide what to do - so ask the forum.

You may or may not have noticed it but the Balinese tend to smack their lips and schach and splat away when they are eating like a herd of water buffellos. Now this doesn't bother me in the least but the issue is that I have Balinese friends that regularly eat with westerners in a business setting and I have always been concerned that this will put my friends in a very negative light because like it or not table manners are very important to many people and they regard people that don't display theirs as less civilized.

The questions I want to ask has anyone else noticed this or is it just me? And have you mentioned this to any of your Balinese friends and what was their reaction?
 
Not just the Balinese do this .. it is a way to eat that is throughout this country and the islands of Melanesia ..... problem is eating tastes better that way, like eating with your hands ... ya, I'm sure some folks will contend this .. but until you get it figured out yourself ... you won't know ..

That being said, there is a time and a place for everything ..

A local doing buis. with westerners will many times use a spoon & be more "calm" at the table .. as they already understand the difference in customs .. and it's more "modern" to eat like westerners ...if you have doubts , you might consider explaining the "custom" to your friends/clients , and they will hopefully accept it and not have it interfere with your biz ..

If someone is direct from the kampung, good luck :highly_amused:

One thing to keep in mind , these folks eat fast ,they woof their food down .. it's all about filling the belly fast , slowing them down is not an easy task !

Cheers
 
I'd say - as long as in Indo - the people who visit have to accept it; but if you travel with indonesians to other non-asian countries it's ok to mention it and ask them to adapt & change their table manners.
My father btw loved it (especially the burping part) :icon_rolleyes:
 
My Chinese mate does the same thing, I always remind him he eats like a pig. I find it annoying as hell, especially when I get hit in the face with a half chewed piece of rice.
 
BKT said:
My Chinese mate does the same thing, I always remind him he eats like a pig. I find it annoying as hell, especially when I get hit in the face with a half chewed piece of rice.
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uaaaaaaaa, similar was very supportive for my diet...seeing the half chewed food in the mouth of my pembantu always made me eat a quarter of the portion on the plate...........:highly_amused:

when she started to show the almost fully chewed food though, looked like a thoothpaste on her tongue and making sounds like a pig i had to ask her to start eating in the kitchen- because someone always has to watch the hot soup boiling there.....:icon_rolleyes::icon_rolleyes:
 
Markit said:
like it or not table manners are very important to many people and they regard people that don't display theirs as less civilized.

The questions I want to ask has anyone else noticed this or is it just me? And have you mentioned this to any of your Balinese friends and what was their reaction?
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and imho..that first sentence is true.
 
I mentioned it to my Balinese business partner when we were out for a meal with a friend who was visiting from the UK. This was also my first meal with my business partner in a relaxed setting and I was pretty shocked at the way he basically shoveled food into his never empty but always churning and open mouth. I could see that it came as a surprise to him that I should even notice, let alone mention this. I make every attempt to accept people for who and what they are. I'm not one that labels people without getting to know them first but as a species I guess we do start the judging process by assessing a certain collection of criteria. Manners, vocabulary, appearance etc etc. Whilst it is in my opinion such a shame we do this it is the way we are. On one hand it was good for me to see this in a relatively relaxed and recreational environment which now allows me to be forewarned should I need to set up business meetings that may require his presence.

This in no way changes my respect for the individual. It does allow me though to steer him away from any potential meetings where he may be judged by others based on this trait. This is the way Indonesian's, and the majority of Asia and the south Pacific populations eat, hell in China, Central and South America, Iran, Turkey and the majority of India is the same. It is those who think they are better than others, the refined, who need to be more accepting of the people around them.

Cheers,
Mark.
 
.... what a helpful thread!!! Now I know where my family and I get the habit of eating so fast!! Generations of bule in Indonesia and you adapt their ways.......

I have to add though that when I lived in Munich I worked for an architect (millionaire) and his table manners were not very European - more like the Chinese described further up. So whenever he has business meetings and wanted to take his partners out for a meal I always suggested a place with mainly finger food. No rice, pasta or potatoes or anything that needed cutting. Saved me (and my previous) boss from many embarrassing moments.
 
I'm not really directly affected by this behaviour as my friends smack and slop their food as and when they do normally and that's their good right in their culture to do what they want to.

I guess I want to find a non-invasive way of telling my friend, who has to dine with foreigners on a regular basis, what he is doing and what it means to his being accepted as a full-value business partner without offending him or affecting our relationship.

Maybe a secret letter?

I have tried to lead by good example but that, I'm afraid, doesn't get noticed.
 
How about explaining Balinese table manners to your Western visitors. Should they not be the ones adapting to the country they visit?

Come to think about it, tell your visitors to smack as well :highly_amused:
 
Why not tell him straight/direct how it is ? If he's really into business with westerners .. tell him it creates a possibility of negatively affecting biz opportunities .. affect to $$ is what motivates folks here, as you well know ... he should want to improve his biz skills anyways .. you leading by example in this case .. only makes more frustration for you ..

Good luck
 
I have no problem with my balinese friends' eating habits. Just about the same as back in my country. I'm from Europe
 
I don't have a problem with it either as I said above but, being a coward, I'm not willing to risk my relationship with this friend to have the satisfaction (cause that's all I would get) from setting him to rights. He wants to chomp and slop his way through a lunch with western business people then I guess that's the way it will be - I do think that they actually make allowances because of where we are and who he is but ... it was just a question:icon_wink:
 
restaurant service

Hopefully this post isn't too far off t he subject, but something that bothers me is restaurant table setting. Mainly in Bali, but not exclusively is the custom of putting the table utensils uncovered on a filthy table mat usually encrusted with food from many previous customers. Damned if I care to use (supposedly clean) a knife, fork and spoon presented in this filth and then have the great display made of attending to me with a table napkin which I otherwise intend to use to wipe the tools.
These wait personnel are trained in schools to learn their trade which apparently have little regard for sanitation. Why can't they change the training? Any restaurant owners out there?
 
mugwump said:
Hopefully this post isn't too far off t he subject, but something that bothers me is restaurant table setting. Mainly in Bali, but not exclusively is the custom of putting the table utensils uncovered on a filthy table mat usually encrusted with food from many previous customers. Damned if I care to use (supposedly clean) a knife, fork and spoon presented in this filth and then have the great display made of attending to me with a table napkin which I otherwise intend to use to wipe the tools.
These wait personnel are trained in schools to learn their trade which apparently have little regard for sanitation. Why can't they change the training? Any restaurant owners out there?
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Many locals wipe down the utensils before using them .. expats too, I always do ... pretty aware of the stomach problems associated ....
 
I think he means the cruise ship training that you see everywhere - they actually have a pretty good curiculum and adhere to international standards, sort of. No spitting on the silverware to polish it and left hand is for wiping and right hand is for collecting tips...
 
Guarantees?

no.idea said:
Are you sure about this? I can guarantee that you are wrong.
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There are schools all over Bali training young people to work in the tourist trade including the restaurant/hotel field exclusively. It is just that sanitation isn't a subject included in the curriculum. Just saw some today in Ubud and see them frequently in Negara. Where are you hiding?
 
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