gift for parents in village - what's appropriate?

[ocsam]

my wife and I are heading to Bali in a few weeks for a month-long stay - our third but longest trip so far. Our Balinese "daughter" is working in Guam but will join us. She has lived with us in the US off and on over the last 5 years.

When we go to the village to see her parents again, we want to take them a gift as a way to honor them. They are in their 70's - lovely people.

Any ideas on what kind of gift is appropriate? The last thing we want to do is take them something that offends them.

Thanks for any ideas.

Sam

 

[Roy]

Sam, if I’ve read your post correctly, your Balinese in-laws live in a normal Balinese compound. So do mine. And when I want to please them with gifts, I can assure you from experience what really lights up their eyes.

Take them the following, which in true Balinese fashion will be greatly accepted: a 25 kilo bag of rice, one or two kilo of coffee, a kilo of sugar, some sweet cakes, and a papaya will more than fit the bill.

 

[ocsam]

thank you SO much, Roy. That's exactly what I'll do.

Sam

 

[Git]

Dear Sam

Each time i visit all my aunts and uncles in bali they just love getting see's chocolates from the USA i bring them all a big box.

I'm departing also in a few weeks, have a good flight (it
s a long one from here)

Gina Tyler

 

[ocsam]

Thanks, Gina. Great idea! Suci has 4 sibling families - I'll load up ...

We're flying Singapore Airlines for the first time - LA to Singapore is a loooong flight - so long, I try to shut it out of my mind once the flight gets started and just hybernate until the flight is over :--))

Sam

 

[Git]

selamat sore sam
Yes it is over 20 hours for me to get to kuala lumpur (Malaysia air) then another 3-4 hours to bali from there. With the time change so drastic the jet lag is horrid the entire first week. No wonder not many from the usa end up in bali. At least i'm not traveling with tiny children,feel so bad for those parents,its hard.
But its worth it in the long run. If i could afford it i would do it several times per year.
Have a good trip

Gina TYler

 

[Tommy]

And if they happen to like Durian.. buy a few of the quite expensive and very big and sweet imported sort that can be found at Macro in Jl.Bypass :wink:

 

[ocsam]

RE: gift for parents in village - what

Tommy, thanks for the tip on the "Durian" ... ha! I had to look it up to find out what it was. I'll taste one for sure during my upcoming trip and will take your advice for gift-giving. I appreciate the help. -Sam

 

[Roy]

Just back from a “walk about” Bali I presented to all five families involved with this trip 5 kilos of north Bali premium coffee and 10 kilos of red rice. Top shelf premium basics are greatly appreciated…meaning big smiles, kisses and hugs. The families of two priests, "Jero Manku" and three other families really were very appreciative, as these gifts are at the top of gifts, Balinese to Balinese.

Cookies, chocolate, and used clothes just don’t cut it in relation to top shelf basics.

I would never offer a Balinese a durian as I am not able to qualify an exceptinal durian. Many durian are hardly digestable.

Many westerners get "hung up" thinking about what to give to a Balinese family. Thinking in western ways, they most often "miss the boat."

 

[ocsam]

I'm taking notes, Roy, and want to learn. Thank you!

 

[Git]

Hello to all

I agree with roy,the essentials of living needs to be addressed first,of course,rice is a daily staple food in indonesia. But to take it a step further would be to provide veggie seeds,for planting thus a growth of crops. Medicinal plants to make jamu. Spices for cooking. (if they eat meat,fish or chicken,eggs) And a giant big bottle of fresh clean water (or water purification system)

The chocolates are special gifts that the indonesians (balinese) ask for,that is something they could never afford to buy.So easily obtained in europe and the usa.
Gina Tyler

 

[Roy]

Gina, I think you missed my point. Agreed that rice is a basic staple in the Balinese diet, but red rice is considered a huge luxury. Depending on the area of Bali, red rice can be as much as twice the price of white rice. It's also much more tasty than white rice, and more healthy as well. Even diabetics can eat red rice while white rice is on their "no" list of acceptable foods.

Coffee is another "staple" although certainly not a food for the Balinese. In north Bali, the best coffee is grown and it is expensive as most of the product is of export quality. Premium coffee from north Bali can cost more than three times regular Bali coffee.

Bringing seeds for planting could be a great embarrasment as one seems to presume that the family are farmers. Spices? No way. All the Balinese I know make their own bumbu and sambal from fresh onions, garlic, pepper etc. and would never consider processed spice. Salt and sugar are the the only processed ingredients I have ever seen in any Balinese compound.

As for chocolate, my whole family hates it. My wife in particular finds it way too sweet, heavy in her stomach and not pleasing.

The OP's objective is to please parents that are in their 70's. Bringing them seeds to plant, or chocolate would be a big, big mistake. Bringing them water would almost be laughable. Sorry, but I totally disagree with your suggestions.

 

[Thorsten]

This was really an interesting lesson!
It would have never come to my mind, rice as gift for Asian people but after rethinking it makes sense.

Thanks and best regards
Thorsten

 

[PetraZ]

Dear members!

Indeed a very interesting discussion.

My experiences from Kuta Lombok with the locals are: its usual an the best thing to bring coffe and sugar. I am not sure about rice to bring, cause many people have their own rice fields there. We always brought coffee and sugar - on Lombok. Just for comparison. My husband is a local from Kuta-Lombok.

And if we come the way from the city down to the village we like to buy a lot of Rambutan and other fruits for the family.

Best regards from Petra

 

[Georgie]

Some great suggestions, from my experience living in a Balinese village for years.

It depends greatly on your relationship with the people, and greatly depends on their income etc. 3 times in 5 years is not a close relationship (not with Balinese).

The first thing is as you are coming back to Bali, not a first time visitor, you bring an Oleh Oleh, which is never rice, it is a souvenir, my kids want Oleh Oleh even if I have gone to Kuta.

2nd, rice is given as a gift from family to family at weddings, ceremonies etc, so unless you are attending a ceremony it may seem a little strange (unless these people are extremely poor and you are sponsoring them etc). It is given in a silver dish. I think they may be offended to be given rice in a bag if you aren’t in Bali all the time.

3rd, will depend greatly on their income and their likes, for example:.
I have Balinese children and we have 4 different sets of grandparents.
one set asks me to buy them gold when I travel (not that I ever travel abroad) and they will give me the money in advance,
one set always want good quality towels.
one set want anything, even the clothes of my back, so they love me to bring clothes, shoes etc.
one Grandmother wants anything from India, she is obsessed with India, so incense from India etc.

I would never give any of them rice if I went away for a long time and came back, or seeds or anything as such and I am close to these people (I see them 3 times a week). Once I had a friend buy from Australia every set of grandparents good quality towels and all 4 loved them so was on a winner there (I bought myself some too so it was kina of expected to share).

I have had on a few occasions had a grandparent bring out a "gift" from Westerners, they've pulled it out of the back of a cupboard and shown to me to ask what is this, what do I do with this etc. Visitors who have brought them something that to them is of no use or interest to them. A coffee mug from India does come out proudly a lot with one though.

As a visitor and not immediate family that spends time with these people I suggest you stick with an Oleh Oleh, it would be expected. You could do a good quality silk scarf for Mama and a nice leather belt for Papa, wrap them up and give them to them and DO NOT expect them to open them in front of you.

Definitely also take cakes to have with coffee, they will supply the coffee, but it would be expected you bring the cakes, and lots for everyone to share/try. You can also bring some chocolate from US, and biscuits not available here if you like, to have with the coffee, for them to try but don’t wrap that up and give that as a present, no way, that is food for all to share to catch up with you over coffee.

 

[Markit]

Georgie that's what I call a CONSIDERED OPINION. You took 10 years since the last posting to formulate your answer and my goodness it's a goody!

 

[geedee]

Georgie that's what I call a CONSIDERED OPINION. You took 10 years since the last posting to formulate your answer and my goodness it's a goody!

Does this mean I've got to bring Oleh Oleh and unwrapped cakes and chocolate when i visit you
or is it a silk scarf

 

[Georgie]

Georgie that's what I call a CONSIDERED OPINION. You took 10 years since the last posting to formulate your answer and my goodness it's a goody!

HA HA, That's funny. Oops, I just got a smart phone and it's a bit too smart for me, obviously. It came up as a recent post. Oh well
Oh,, and anyone coming to my place from OS must be cheese or wine or both if they want a coffee.

 

[paulseawind]

Getting back to biscuits, I noticed approx 2 months ago some 'Montego' Raspberry Cream biscuits in Carrefours in Sgrja. Being curious, I got a pack. Nice bicks. They are a copy of the Arnott's Monte Carlo. And just as good. After that, I purchased some more packs and gave some away as oleh-oleh to Balinese people. They loved them. Both the parents and the kids.

Soon after, I went to Australia and while in Woolies I bought a pack of Monte Carlo bicks. When I got home from shopping, the wife literally exclaimed 'I love those - they are my favourite'. I didn't know that. Well, I managed to have 2 from the packet and never saw them again because I left a few days later and when I got back another week later they weren't there.

There must be a zillion gifts to give, especially if the old folks don't venture into the big smoke often.
When I go out thru DPS I stop in the chocolate section and look for the Nestle with honey and toffee and get 2 for the wife. But they are not always available.

There are some great homely ideas on this thread. But I thought red rice was used in/with black magic. Some was found in my bed earlier this year. Maybe about 20-30 grains. Hskpr was aghast and quizzed me on it but I had no idea. Soon after, the little hot water bottle disappeared.

I also used to bring chocolate from Coles in Australia. Their Belgian milk chocolate with peppermint flecks in it. Really nice choc. The Balinese love that too.

I would give 2kgs of sugar for every 500gm of coffee. That seems to be close enough.

And, my hskpr had some kind of ceremony for one of her daughters and ended up with 30kgs of sugar from the guests. I was mildly stunned. And she gave me 2kgs as an oleh-oleh.

Finally, I went to see a local 'guru' here 2 weeks ago for my shoulder. He gave me a body manipulation that shocked me but it worked extremely well. He did not want money. We took him 2kg sugar, some coffee and a pack of Gudang Garam smokes. He was very happy with that. Apparently people come from Jakarta to see him.