I really hope you will tell us how your trip goes. I'm still not ready to go back. The last thing I need is to dredge up old memories and unpleasant feelings. Soooo, I'm excited for you and hope you have a wonderful time, and if you do, maybe there is hope for me too.
G
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playful dragonfly...
I think it is part of the Balinese way to use the money for an Emergency etc (as they see an Emergency?) rather than lose face by asking for it, for his wife or child etc...
I have never sent money as I believe they lived OK before me & my western $$$'s & can do so when I am around.
We have an account set up for the family & have only just sent some $$$$'s (not much) to help pay for Gede's brother schooling.
But perhaps your friend & business partner really needed this money & felt ashamed to ask you for it & then felt bad for not sending the stock, so could not call...?
I don't want to bring up bad feelings or make you reasses the situation, but I think you need to go back & bury the hatchet!? :?
Good Luck to you Alice, you have learnt from your mistakes & in that can teach your daughters...
Things do happen to make us stronger & to teach us...
I think it is part of the Balinese way to use the money for an Emergency etc (as they see an Emergency?) rather than lose face by asking for it, for his wife or child etc...
I have never sent money as I believe they lived OK before me & my western $$$'s & can do so when I am around.
We have an account set up for the family & have only just sent some $$$$'s (not much) to help pay for Gede's brother schooling.
But perhaps your friend & business partner really needed this money & felt ashamed to ask you for it & then felt bad for not sending the stock, so could not call...?
I don't want to bring up bad feelings or make you reasses the situation, but I think you need to go back & bury the hatchet!? :?
Good Luck to you Alice, you have learnt from your mistakes & in that can teach your daughters...
Things do happen to make us stronger & to teach us...
A few months before that final $400.00 order I had called my friend/partner and placed another order. Part of that order was for items he makes, and another part of the order was from another guy I always bought from. Well, a period of time passed and the goods had not arrived so I called Wy. (my friend) and inquired about the delay. Wy. explained that he had completed making his part of my order but had given the cash for the rest of the order to the other supplier. The other supplier had not delivered the things. We waited for another week or so and finally Wy. sent his part of the order but I never received the things from the other supplier. Oh dear...this is so hard to write about and have it make any since! The first question that popped into my mind was WHY did Wy. give the cash before he had the items in hand. He knew how I did business...policies and proceedures so to speak. I always gave deposits and then final payment upon delivery. It seemed strange to me that he would just hand over the full amount to the other guy. I didn't give it much thought at the time. The amount of loss was about $200.00. It wasn't until the next (and final) order when I began to wonder if Wy. was being honest with me or just using me. He had called me from time to time (collect) during the years we worked together...but not in the end. Well, needless to say, I was crushed. It was never about the money. It was always about trust, character, honesty, integrity, etc. That is what shook me up. Oh well, it was a big learning experience...that's for sure.
I hate to tell ya this too, but there will be dishonest, deceitful, untrustworthy & backstabbing people everywhere you look in the world!? 
I don't think you should punish yourself over the situation... I think you are feeling angry that you, yourself let this happen to you...? :?
Unfortunately the world will still spin if you don't get back to Bali ever again, but boy your missing out on Paradise.. :cry:
I wish you all the best & hope you make it back to Bali....
I don't think you should punish yourself over the situation... I think you are feeling angry that you, yourself let this happen to you...? :?
Unfortunately the world will still spin if you don't get back to Bali ever again, but boy your missing out on Paradise.. :cry:
I wish you all the best & hope you make it back to Bali....
Ive been betrayed and taken advantage by many people. I do believe, I have Kick me written on my forhead sometimes. But i will say the wounds that come from Balinese seem to hurt more than normal. Im not sure why it feels that way but I do know its real. At my age now not alot gets to me, I love being alive and have little or no expectations on humans what so ever. Perhaps its expectations we put on Balinese that makes the hurt, hurt so badly.
I had a Balinese nannie that became like a sister too me, I loved her more than anyone could love anyone. One day I found out she slept with my husband. The betrayal and loss from that cut to bone and still does.
Not for the loss of te husband but for the loss of my Balinese sister. I forgave her, but she and I never recovered. Since then I've never let myself get close to another woman again.
I hope to see her in August.
I had a Balinese nannie that became like a sister too me, I loved her more than anyone could love anyone. One day I found out she slept with my husband. The betrayal and loss from that cut to bone and still does.
Not for the loss of te husband but for the loss of my Balinese sister. I forgave her, but she and I never recovered. Since then I've never let myself get close to another woman again.
I hope to see her in August.
WOW, Alice that is pretty bad, nice Nannie!?
But as I said previously this sort of caper happens all over the world!?
Your hubby probably chose the Nannie?
Possibly already seeing each other before?
Anyways, I hope you have a great, excellent holiday & catch up with naughty nannie & live & let live!!!!
Good Luck!
But as I said previously this sort of caper happens all over the world!?
Your hubby probably chose the Nannie?
Possibly already seeing each other before?
Anyways, I hope you have a great, excellent holiday & catch up with naughty nannie & live & let live!!!!
Good Luck!
Hi Alice, I feel the same...the wounds that come from Balinese seem to hurt more then normal. I also agree that these sort of capers happen all over the world, as Tracey mentioned in a couple of posts. I haven't been able to figure out why it hurt more when it involved a Balinese, it just did. In my own situation, it might have been that I believed my friend was very spiritual. Maybe he was just very clever. Enough time has passed that I can remember (without being sad) the good times and lessons learned through him. I'm grateful for all the experiences I had in my Bali days. I imagine I'll return some day....
I was beat up for many years from a partner. In Australia I got in with the wrong crowd, I was young & moved in with a guy whom I adored & would have done anything for & did some stupid stuff for at the same time...
He was a liar, a cheat, a dealer, a user & extremely violent to me.
I was very young when we began dating & soon I moved in with him & was under his spell. He was a very powerful person & extremely sexual & romantic, but then could become a maniac at the drop of a hat!
One night I was permitted out with a friend as he was going to be out & I was to be home at a cert6ain time, we called him to collect us, but he was passed out somewhere, so i caught a cab back to a friends early hours of the morning he called my mobile & said he was gonna kill me! I decided then that all the love I had for him was never gonna make him love/like me back... So after approx 6-7 years maybe more, I left him with the clothes on my back & nothing else!
I have to say that this was the most exhilirating & terrifying feeling in the world! I was alone, yet I was free!
I had to go into hiding for a very long time, he found me on occasions & tried to strangle & kill me, but never succeeded. Eventually I saved enough to go on a holiday I was just 22, I went to bali & fell in love!
I do not have any feeling for this guy whom is is still in my life in a way as his brother married one of my good friends & I have other friends that are in the same circle. I don't hate him, I have nothing, not a feeling at all to explain him!?
He stole & ruined the best part of my life, but if I had never met him would I be where am I now? I have Gede whom is the most gorgeous, gentle, caring, king person I could ever, ever meet, I have a daughter that I adore & we together are all happy!? Immensely happy!
I try not to harbour hurt, anger etc, as I love to totally that it seems to take over rather than pain...
I hope you both can get over these things & learn to love & live & simply enjoy life.
We are only here for a small time, I don't wanna be sad or down for the life I havbe I wanna celebrate & enjoy the life I have!!!!
He was a liar, a cheat, a dealer, a user & extremely violent to me.
I was very young when we began dating & soon I moved in with him & was under his spell. He was a very powerful person & extremely sexual & romantic, but then could become a maniac at the drop of a hat!
One night I was permitted out with a friend as he was going to be out & I was to be home at a cert6ain time, we called him to collect us, but he was passed out somewhere, so i caught a cab back to a friends early hours of the morning he called my mobile & said he was gonna kill me! I decided then that all the love I had for him was never gonna make him love/like me back... So after approx 6-7 years maybe more, I left him with the clothes on my back & nothing else!
I have to say that this was the most exhilirating & terrifying feeling in the world! I was alone, yet I was free!
I had to go into hiding for a very long time, he found me on occasions & tried to strangle & kill me, but never succeeded. Eventually I saved enough to go on a holiday I was just 22, I went to bali & fell in love!
I do not have any feeling for this guy whom is is still in my life in a way as his brother married one of my good friends & I have other friends that are in the same circle. I don't hate him, I have nothing, not a feeling at all to explain him!?
He stole & ruined the best part of my life, but if I had never met him would I be where am I now? I have Gede whom is the most gorgeous, gentle, caring, king person I could ever, ever meet, I have a daughter that I adore & we together are all happy!? Immensely happy!
I try not to harbour hurt, anger etc, as I love to totally that it seems to take over rather than pain...
I hope you both can get over these things & learn to love & live & simply enjoy life.
We are only here for a small time, I don't wanna be sad or down for the life I havbe I wanna celebrate & enjoy the life I have!!!!
I'm very sorry to hear about your dreadful relationship...before Gede. I can only imagine how frightened you must have been. I was very afraid when I told my x husband that I was leaving him. He never physically hurt me but he was an alcholic, although he never admitted it. We had been married for a long time and I didn't know how I would take care of myself and support myself after the divorce, but I knew I wouldn't stay in that disfunctional relationship one more day.
About two years after the divorce I went to Bali for the first time. I loved everything about Bali! It is because of Bali and the amazing handicrafts created there that I started my small shop. It was at that point that Wayan came into the picture and into my life.
Tracey, you ended your post by saying you hope I (and Alice too) can get over this and learn to love and live and simply enjoy life. Speaking for myself, I am over it. My posts are simply reflections of my past.
After I stopped going to Bali for buying, the business experienced dramatic growth. I continue to travel internationally and enjoy the people, sights, sounds, activities, cultures and ceremonies that are so different then where I live.
Please don't get me wrong...I don't mean to rag on Wayan. I was just sharing my experiences. I'm happy he was in my life. I know each of us learned from the other. I believe it was destiny that took me to Bali, to meet the people who became my friends and to have all the experiences I had. There were good times and bad. There were happy times and sad. I learned much about myself there and wouldn't change a thing. Acceptance and forgiveness are powerful things to learn. I'm not sad or down. I'm grateful. I agree with you that we are only here for a short time...and I celebrate and enjoy the life I have. And I look forward to tomorrow...
About two years after the divorce I went to Bali for the first time. I loved everything about Bali! It is because of Bali and the amazing handicrafts created there that I started my small shop. It was at that point that Wayan came into the picture and into my life.
Tracey, you ended your post by saying you hope I (and Alice too) can get over this and learn to love and live and simply enjoy life. Speaking for myself, I am over it. My posts are simply reflections of my past.
After I stopped going to Bali for buying, the business experienced dramatic growth. I continue to travel internationally and enjoy the people, sights, sounds, activities, cultures and ceremonies that are so different then where I live.
Please don't get me wrong...I don't mean to rag on Wayan. I was just sharing my experiences. I'm happy he was in my life. I know each of us learned from the other. I believe it was destiny that took me to Bali, to meet the people who became my friends and to have all the experiences I had. There were good times and bad. There were happy times and sad. I learned much about myself there and wouldn't change a thing. Acceptance and forgiveness are powerful things to learn. I'm not sad or down. I'm grateful. I agree with you that we are only here for a short time...and I celebrate and enjoy the life I have. And I look forward to tomorrow...
Alice, I'm curious about something...would you share your reasons for returning to Bali after your long absense and the difficulties you endured there?
I remember the good more then the bad. I have traveled all over south east asia and Bali remains my favorite.
I don't want to be indelicate here Alice, but I've never heard so many hard luck stories come from one person in my life.
I think there's something fishy going on here.
z. :shock:
I think there's something fishy going on here.
z. :shock:
lol I wish it was fictional, I wish my luck was'nt so bad, Ive also had to many good things in my life that I am a strong real funny person because of it. I can find humor in everything now. As many people have told me, Ive lived, survived at laughed at so many unbelievable things that I should really write a book about my life. If I had wrote in this forum all the amazing events in my Bali life, people would not even begin to believe that one single woman could live through it and stay sane, silly and kind.
Let alone the rest of my life non-Bali related. lol
Let alone the rest of my life non-Bali related. lol
Btw. I returned to Bali time and time again because one main reason...
Regardless of what Balinese have been through history, invasions and bombs...... the Balinese can find humor, color and laughter in thier world when it seems there is none. I find that closest to my heart, this is the same that gets me through life. Ever take a look at people around you and notice that very few people laugh for the sake of happiness? Or smile people for sake of being tryely poilite and making someone else smile? Or finding innocent humor the most rewarding of all emotions? Our western cultures have lost that in all of splendor. We lost the ablitity to take ourselfs lightly. We over complicate ourselfs with wordly possesions, close mindedness and self rightous thoughts.
This is Why I will always return to Bali, to be reminded the world does not revolve around the moment that I live in.
Regardless of what Balinese have been through history, invasions and bombs...... the Balinese can find humor, color and laughter in thier world when it seems there is none. I find that closest to my heart, this is the same that gets me through life. Ever take a look at people around you and notice that very few people laugh for the sake of happiness? Or smile people for sake of being tryely poilite and making someone else smile? Or finding innocent humor the most rewarding of all emotions? Our western cultures have lost that in all of splendor. We lost the ablitity to take ourselfs lightly. We over complicate ourselfs with wordly possesions, close mindedness and self rightous thoughts.
This is Why I will always return to Bali, to be reminded the world does not revolve around the moment that I live in.
Well, this initially started out as very disconcerting. I will be back in Bali next month to hopefully settle on some land and start making plans for building a house. The thought of losing it all to some unscrupulous party is very worrying, to say the least.
However, from what I have been able to find out on the web and talking to Indonesians I work with, you can lawyer the deal pretty tight and minimise the risk. (I say minimise and not eliminate as I witnessed 1st hand an Indonesian company assume ownership of it's foreign partners equipment, even with apparently solid legal paperwork in place - they got it back after several years and much expense)
I've being doing the expat thing for the last 10 years in a multitude of countries and as previously stated, you will find the good and bad in every culture, it's just the percentages that differ!! (I'm gonna wear it for that one!!)
Nah, I'm not put off. Even with recent bombings, earthquakes etc (my wifes been telling me these are not good signs for our impending investment!) Bali is just too good to pass up.
However, from what I have been able to find out on the web and talking to Indonesians I work with, you can lawyer the deal pretty tight and minimise the risk. (I say minimise and not eliminate as I witnessed 1st hand an Indonesian company assume ownership of it's foreign partners equipment, even with apparently solid legal paperwork in place - they got it back after several years and much expense)
I've being doing the expat thing for the last 10 years in a multitude of countries and as previously stated, you will find the good and bad in every culture, it's just the percentages that differ!! (I'm gonna wear it for that one!!)
Nah, I'm not put off. Even with recent bombings, earthquakes etc (my wifes been telling me these are not good signs for our impending investment!) Bali is just too good to pass up.