The Pleasures of Driving on Bali

[Markit]

The new driver having conquered his well based fear of driving himself around the island (I use the masculine "his" with the understanding that most women are not stupid enough to even consider this) is confronted with the 3 stages of "enlightenment".

Stage 1 - abject terror - there are no laws, rules or even remote guidelines of conduct on the Balinese roads - if you are brave or stupid enough, then just do it (to coin a phrase) :wink:

Stage 2 - blessed acceptance - You can't do anything about it so just accept... your fate is sealed. Similar to Kamikazi Nirvana, without the sake.

Stage 3 - terminal anger - that little 70lb fecker on a motorbike that is trying to force me in a 1 ton car off the road is going to die! Instead of missing him by 1cm with a crazy, death defying maneuver I'll just look the other way for 1/10 of a second. PLEASE! :evil:

Many of you may be asking what is "positive" in this Balinese experience - well, I ain't done it yet :shock:

 

[macantidur]

I've been driving in Bali for almost 15 years, and haven't had a fender-bender yet! (Touch wood.) Does that qualify me for some kind of a prize or certificate? I used to be a ski racer, and a mountain bike racer, and an extreme surf kayaker, and I think those skills transfer well to driving in Bali. It's a slalom race, a rough muddy bike track, and a churn of whitewater, all rolled into one but with steel and plastic and flesh and asphalt as the terrain. Whoo-whee what a thrill.

If you think of it as a sport, the pure anger syndrome changes to a sense of pure adventure, like an extreme skiier in a hot televised competition. Or like a roller derby babe with her elbows up, ready to jab 'em into the face of anyone who tries to get into her trajectile!!!

There's an extreme sports TV show (never seen it), and I think they should put Bali driving on the air, it's all thrills, spills, bloodthirsty competition. The thrill of victory! The agony of defeat!

Hati-hati out there.

 

[Markit]

You sure got that right my friend. I would be interested if your skill are transferable. I mean what happens when you get back to more "normal" driving worlds? :wink: Are you one of the statistics we read about? Or do you cause em lol?

I'm going to be extra careful when I go back or I'll definitely kill people.

For instance in Bali people accept it as completely normal to be going at a combined rate of 100kmh+ directly for a full frontal only to "chicken-out" with only centimeters to spare.

Hell now I don't even consider it of any interest now unless the wing mirrors are wagging 8)

 

[chilli]

. I mean what happens when you get back to more "normal" driving worlds? :wink: Are you one of the statistics we read about? Or do you cause em lol?
8)

You end up getting a load of fines before you finally settle back into "non thinking, automatic pilot driving mode", LOL..

 

[Markit]

it's funny you should say that cause I was reading about a plan to do away with all road lights. the theory (born out by studies and some of my experience here on Bali) was that traffic flows much better and quicker when people are looking out for what is happening and not just sleeping at the wheel stupidly waiting for the lights to change even when there is no traffic coming.

Well, I for one would give it a try - the change-over period would be fun :lol:

 

[tintin]

Personally, I have always ENJOYED driving a motorcycle in Bali (eventually, I bought a Tiger ten years ago). Even driving in Denpasar, I find it fun, and if anyone is riding by my side, he or she probably would think I lost it, because I smile and laugh out loud so often, where most rational people would cringe.

Some 20 years ago, my wife taught me to drive on her motorbike here in the US (While learning, I did dumped her bike once, and I still hear about it!), so I could enjoy it in Bali, and she knows how grateful I am to her for that and will forever be . I considered driving a cycle in Bali an "extreme sport," before the term was even invented. Commuting from Ubud to Sanur daily made, quite often, for the high point of my day. And the highest motorcycle driving experience I've ever had, the biggest rush ever, was driving down from Bratan to Mengwi, at close to 100 km/hr, at the end of the day of Manis Galungan (the day after Galungan), in the middle of a mob of thousands of young riders, trying to impress their pacar2 hanging on for their lives in the back of their bikes. The first time I got caught in this "event," I thought maybe Gunung Agung was about to erupt, but several subsequent experiences of the phenomenon showed me it was just a yearly (Balinese calendar) event: forget about the run of the bulls in Pamplona, that is the REAL thing… :lol: :lol:

And my aimless rides through Bali were, well, priceless, FREEDOM asli: never got tired of them (Of course, I have never seen a picture of the insides of my lungs…)

But that was before last year, when I last showed up in Bali. Suddenly, my reflexes are down, my vision is down, and what had been fun before became a threatening ordeal while I was there. And now I have a horrible dilemma: my good friend who keep my cycle for me when I am away and drives his kids to school with it, tells me it now costs too much for repairs (it's getting old), and suggests he will get it off my hands for Rp5Juta, and buy a bebek (down payment only Rp75,000…no credit crunch in Bali, I guess. He tells me everybody does it), and I can drive it as much as I want when I show up again. But this Tiger is like a member of my family: I don't think I could ever sell it…What do you think?

 

[mimpimanis]

I have to say, though I was a bit nervous at first, I settled into driving here fairly quickly and now wonder why on earth I waited so long to get a car! I can honestly say I enjoy driving around both Bali & Lombok and find as the driver I feel much safer than as a passenger.

 

[Markit]

Tintin, a lovely story, as always. I will look out for the Balinese "Running of the Mopeds". About the loss of your faculties could I suggest you try a Quad bike, none of the problems of balance and such but all the pleasure of biking. The 4 wheel version is generally treated with the same "respect" that a car is too. Give it a go - it's kind of trainer wheels in reverse - but much more fun.

Gemma - I thought women where generally much more intelligent then men - see, there goes another fondly held belief... :cry: or maybe you are the exception that proves the rule?

 

[mimpimanis]

Well, just think when heading home from Carrefour, how long it would take to get to the roundabout, if you couldnt turn the two lane carriageway into four lanes, including the hard, sorry, soft, muddy, potholed, shoulder. :lol:

 

[SG]

Well, just think when heading home from Carrefour, how long it would take to get to the roundabout, if you couldnt turn the two lane carriageway into four lanes, including the hard, sorry, soft, muddy, potholed, shoulder. :lol:

I think that habit of turning two lanes into five is one of the major reasons for the congestion in Bali.

 

[JohnnyCool]

I think that habit of turning two lanes into five is one of the major reasons for the congestion in Bali.

I think it's more a case of Balinese 'traffic planners' not thinking enough in the first place, coupled with the increasing competition for road space and barely thinking riders and drivers. A perfect example would be the incredible shemozzle in an around Kuta. Years of 'planning' and where's an even halfway sensible outcome?

Like the fool I am, I was coerced to drive to Kuta early on New Year's Day. (I had visiting relatives from Java who hadn't seen Kuta yet.) It took us more than 90 agonising minutes to get from Jl Melasti to Bemo Corner. The year before, on a different ill-considered mission, it took me more than two hours to get from Kartika Plaza to the the Hard Rock Cafe!

Maybe that's some sort of progress.

:shock:

 

[bolli]

welcome to the forum Johnny be Cool but could I beg a favour??.
.

.
.
.
.
Can you stop your star from spinning? :lol:

 

[JohnnyCool]

Why?
I can slow it down, change the colour, etc...
Maybe that wouldn't be "cool" for me.

I'm new here and didn't have a better avatar at hand. Actually I did, but they didn't comply with this site's restrictions (80x80 pixels and 10kb max file size).

If you're an epileptic, I'm sorry. Maybe when the hip-hop frogs stop croaking around here tonight, in what sounds like the English language (not joking), I'll work on it.

Please give newbies a break.
Do you drive/ride around Bali?
Correct me if I'm wrong but I thought this thread is about The Pleasures of Driving on Bali.

Maybe I've missed some important point or two.

8)

 

[JohnnyCool]

Actually bolli, you're probably right.
My spinning star avatar is even bugging me.
Got your attention, though, didn't it?

There's nothing I've read in this forum's rules that prohibits members having animated gifs for their avatars. And who knows - maybe it'll become fashionable?

8)

 

[Markit]

If you think that the spinning star is annoying then don't try parking in Bali :twisted:

Don't you just love these Parking guys in the blue shirts? Since they bag a 1000 from you whatever you do - i - I like to make em work for the money and get em to help me do a tough 3 point turn in the middle of rush hour traffic, whether I need to go that way or not. I get em to stop traffic going both ways and then when it's all come to halt with much beeping of horns and zipping of mopeds - I change my mind and go straight on - they literally love me!

If you have the time there's no end of fun you can have... :lol:

 

[JohnnyCool]

It sounds to me markit that all you're doing by your actions is adding to already existing traffic problems. At the same time, you're promoting an image that all bules are either stupid, ignorant or both.

Don't you just love these Parking guys in the blue shirts? Since they bag a 1000 from you whatever you do..they literally love me!

Actually I do like them, even when they sometimes guide me into situations I regard as dangerous with their terus-terus and whistle blowing.

Don't forget that these people are like human parking meters that can talk. Paying them Rp1,000 is less than 10 cents. I've often seen them placing their own lives at risk stepping into the traffic to help somebody get their vehicle out. I bet you wouldn't do that for 10 cents.

Have you ever calculated how many 10 cents you'd have to collect to make say 20 dollars a day? Do they get to pocket all of it or do they have to be accountable for the tickets they issue? In case of the latter, I don't take their receipts so they can pocket the money.

I think that the fun you're having at their expense is at best, ill-considered and at worst, disgusting.

:evil:

 

[toucan]

I am with you Johnny, I love the traffic guys, and I am more than willing to pay a few thousand rupiah to allow me freedom of passage when I need it. Frankly Markit you seem to enjoy the presumed power of having someone behave like a servant at your beck and call, you may wish to ponder who is really the bigger fool with your antics? A little respect in Bali goes a long way.

 

[toucan]

I must apologise, I finished my last post prematurely, I was looking for an emoticon with a raised finger!

 

[Markit]

Great, that's just what this forum really needed another candidate for the moral majority.

I really worry not so much about the dumbing-down of society but the seriousing-up. At least you can laugh heartily at the dumbies but the seriouses are the real fun killers.

Who gives a flying feck what you think about the guys in blue or your idiotic stand on parking, it's all a joke - anybody that takes driving in Bali as anything more than an invitation to hilarity has hemorrhoids, and they deserve each other :lol: (the person and their hemorrhoids, that is)

 

[mimpimanis]

Who gives a flying feck what you think about the guys in blue or your idiotic stand on parking,

The same could be said to you Markit and you were the one to bring it up.