Should I stay or should I go?

[Tinkerbelle]

I have learnt a lot from this site over the last few weeks about life in Bali. There are good cases for living there and bad but then there are where ever you live. For me personally I think visiting for holidays a few times a year will be enough for me. Living in Perth its only a few hours away so nice and easy to get to. Having the best of both places seems the way to go.

I have been talking to Aussies about Nyepi the last week and said I admire the discipline taken by the whole of the Island to conform to all those rules which I think is great. Here in Oz we are having a lights out for an hour saturday night and I doubt most people will even remember to turn the lights off. Aussies have a way laid back lifestyle which I do enjoy.

I am not sure I could live in a village in Bali and have a village chief and the whole community know the ins and outs of everything. I am to private for that lifestyle. Here in Oz I have my close family and friends who do not live closeby but I do not even know my neighbours either side of me and I like it that way. So you do have to take into account your personality and how you live or want to live your life in Bali. Unless you can live like a recluse in Ubud and hide away and venture out at night then its not for me ha ha!

Having recently read on the site about the rubbish problem and the beaches I agree Perths beaches are awesome and clean. I do not go to the beaches to swim in Bali I do walk along them though. Having said all this I do love Bali and the people it is totally different to Australia and unique and it will always be there to visit to feel the magic but I love home.

 

[manc in oz]

Hi Tink, Its a big decision to leave your family and friends and relocate to another country. I have lived half my life away from my family and the country I was born in. Its a funny old life the life of an expat. I was in my local earlier this week talking to other expats about the same thing. One thing we all had in common, was a feeling of restlessness. We called it the travelers curse. Personally, I find that I'm always looking for something else, or somewhere else. Like you, I once thought of moving to Bali, but from past experience I realised I would probably get restless and miss things in oz. I decided I would probably be better of visiting Bali for a few months at a time. That way I can have the best of both worlds. I'm sure you will come to the right decision.

 

[jogry blok]

If you are a private person I would advise not to come. As you said Perth is close by and not too expensive to fly to bali. I think the place where you are now is the best for you.
We moved from Cairns in 2004 age 70-75 we have never been so happy living here and do not go back. We live in pre-Dutch New Guinea so we knew about the tropic lifestyle and are very happy to be back in a less primative lifestyle as in NNG

 

[BaliLife]

tink - great post.. i guess there's a tendency for people to jump in head first but you've done the analaysis and reached a sound conclusion.. for my family it's about a bunch of things, but being married to an indo makes it easier because the cultural gap has already been closed.. in fact i want to relocate there feb/mar of next yr, but it' my wife who wants to stay here longer in vancouver.. for us it is also financially feasible as i'm guessing it is for many in this forum.. with investments and the low cost of living, i'm sure many go to bali just to exist and enjoy being able to escape the 9-5 grind.. and i do agree with manc - i'm very retless in the same spot (unfortunately my wife isn't), she wants a 'home' - so do i but i think home can be wherever i hang my hat and that might be a different place every 5yrs or so.. all the best.. (i must admit, moving away from perth was one of the few things i regret in life - it is such an amazing spirited city) - when i go home (perth) for a holiday, i get super sad on the last few days there... so many memories (of uni life - hehehe)..

ct

 

[Dasha]

Gedday Tink

Not sure where you are going with this post at all

Firstly can’t think of any bad reasons for living in Bali or anywhere else in Indo as an expat cos the Indonesian people leave Aussies for dead in terms of family structure … they’ve got it made. And it’s a pity we can’t learn from the simple family values they live by.

2nd not everyone who lives in Bali conforms to Nyepi as proven by the fact that I had several PM’s from expat people who don’t understand what the hell the whole day off was (some extremely funny spins) about and to boot I had several of my sponsored Indonesian Hindu people get on the blower and ask where their sponsorship money was considering it was supposed to be a day of doing nothing… funny isn’t it.

Next point I have never ever lived anywhere where I don’t make a big point of making friends with my immediate neighbors ( and as many other close by) to enjoy the company and security aspect of that very very family situation. You would be nuts, or very anti social not agree. As for Ubud … it sounds like you have never been there cos it is without question the most unreclusive place I’ve ever been … read my post re the Hash Run earlier this year to get some insight. The Expats who live there are very welcoming and extremely diverse and choca block full of interesting conversation- take Roy or Mark Wales for example.. capiche?

Now as for the rubbish factor Tink … sounds to me like you visit one place. … Kuta.

Am I correct?

Let me tell you something. If you give yourself one ounce of mileage and go a short distance to a place East of the Bukit (or even Ulu’s or Padang) known as Nusa Dua and view the coral with 40 feet of visibility – you may be pleasantly surprised to find a better Bali. Don’t be so condescending, cos I gota tell ya darling, Perth beaches aint got shit on Bali beaches, In fact Trig point would be like a two man tent compared to a skyscraper at Greenballs in the scheme of things.

If you love the magic of Australia then my advice is to stay home and enjoy being locked up in your brick veneer with above ground pool complete with no neighbors to think about. Please visit Bali but make sure you leave when you feel the need.

Happy Days.

 

[Tinkerbelle]

Hi Dasha, everyone will and does have a different opinion of Bali thats theire choice. As I said I have been visiting it for 20 years and love doing that. I am no way anti social I love my family close friends and I am in a social club in perth (we do charity work to orphanages in Bali). I email and text many chosen friends also in Bali. I also have 3 boys and am into theire footy clubs helping out with the school mums and theire friends. I also like the quietness of my home for time out thats why I don't want neighbours knocking on the door. I am a very independant person and don't need security like you said you need. I travel on my own and enjoy my own company maybe its because I do have a very loving family great kids great job and am happy in myself. I have been all alround Bali Dasha and you have your opinion and I have mine. I said I love the magic of Bali and I will always visit, just there would be to many things I would miss more if I left Australia like my family friends kids the footy the relaxed lifestyle, my job. So when it comes to decide should you live there or not I was stating theres a lot to work out when making that decision. I feel like I have come to that and I will enjoy the best of both places like I said live in Australia and visit Bali.

 

[FreoGirl]

Hi Tink

I totally get where you are coming from. I think it is quite perceptive of you to be able to grasp some of the aspects of living in Bali that others probably have to experience for themselves to appreciate. You obviously know yourself quite well.

Living in Bali, or anywhere in Indonesia, you do lose a lot of your privacy. I think perhaps even more so as an expat as the locals around you take particular interest in your every move. I've had locals sit and watch me do mundane tasks like washing in a bucket, sweeping the floor, making a cup of coffee. If they can they will come up to your windows and look inside to see what you are doing. And they love to gossip about where you are going, what you are doing, who you are seeing etc etc. As a woman you also fall under extra scrutiny.

The philosophy in Indonesia is if you are alone you must need company. That is why a local sitting in a bale will soon be joined by someone else who will strike up a conversation.

Life as an expat anywhere changes you forever. Many who have lived away for a long time find they can't go back home, and they don't want to stay where they are. That reslessness that Manc mentioned. So it is not something to jump into without thought.

And I agree that there is a lot to give up by moving away from Perth. I don't think people who haven't lived here can really appreciate what we got (it's a pretty well kept secret hey hey).

I get a laugh when people from the east coast claim sunsets and beaches in Bali are better than Perth. Personally the beaches and sunsets in Bali are a bit of a yawn, I'm spoiled by what there is in Perth. Sorry Dasha but you're dead wrong on that one. Bali is great but the beaches are not better than Perth. And the visibility is way better here too. But heaps colder in the water here brrrr.

(BTW - Trigg point is a surfing spot - unless they surf people don't go there much and is not a typical Perth beach)

So unless you are actually seeking that totally new experience, and are prepared to step right outside your comfort zone, you are better off just taking frequent trips to Bali. The tourist experience is completely different from the expat experience, and it is probably more the tourist experience that you will enjoy.

 

[Ipanema]

Everybody’s posts here show how we are all different. Different in our hopes and dreams as well as what we want to do with our lives. I have been traveling to Bali for nearly 30 years and once dreamed of living there.

Had a chance to buy the land around where Club Med is now in the early eighties. My story is somewhat like Alice's in the 80’s. I have been all around Bali many many times. I remember in the 80’s my boyfriend use to take me into Denpasar (near where he lived) to what we would call a general store and there would be men sitting at a long wooden stool (facing a counter) drinking Arak. I had some Aussie male friends with me and we all went along (several times) and really enjoyed it. In those days if you were a tourist and you rode through Denpasar there were T Shirts in the shops in Kuta with “I drove through Denpasar and survived”.

Well as the years went buy and tourism increased things changed. For the last three years I have been thinking whether I do or would move to Bali. Let’s face it, the people (not all) have changed. The influences of tourism and all that it brings have changed the tourist part of Bali. I know you can go to other areas and nothing has changed but with all lot of people leaving their villages and coming to Kuta and surrounds the influences trickle back to the villages.

I am not saying that any of the above is good or bad but these are my feelings on the subject of moving to Bali.


So I don’t retire for at least another 10 years so I guess I still have 10 years to decide what to do.

Tina

 

[Tinkerbelle]

Hi Freogirl and Tina, I joined this site to get other peoples inputs as I have never lived in Bali only been there for holidays. Wherever you go for a holiday you think it is great as it is just that a holiday. When you start looking into living there it is a different matter and thats what I have done weighed up the pros and cons on my own personality wants and beliefs. As I stated my main one is my home is my private little sanctuary for my peace and escapism not a materialistic brick veneer house with a pool like Dasha stated. I love life people and socialising and love the quiet life. So I have come to the conclusion that I will enjoy the best of what both countries have to offer. Guess you can have it all ha ha! At the end of the day if you have inner peace as I do and leave this world knowing you made a change for the good in someone way its all good!

 

[froggy]

So, Thats why everyone refers to Bali as a she or her,,, its fun to fool around with her, but the funs over after the commitment,,,

 

[Tinkerbelle]

Hi Froggy , you not confusing that statement with marriage are you (jokes)?.

 

[Dasha]

Righto West Coast girls…. here goes

And I know Freo that you know where I’m at cos we know each other pretty … well .. footy wise. Collingwood made a comeback today from somewhere deep (was there personally to witness it at the MCG ) down and arrrrrrrrrre as I understand it Freo just got creamed by Port (another tip I f’ d up … shoulda known better) by Port. Never mind you just go down the ladder accordingly!

Now about this Trigg point beach being not a typical Perth beach …. Is there any other beach in WA that you can please show me than can compare with Serangan (left right left) or Black Sands or Dreamlands or Inpossibles or Belangan or Padang or Temples or Outside Corner or Medewi or Sri Lankas or Greenballs or Nyang Nyangs, or Hyatt Reef, or Ulu’s or Bingan or Nusa Dua – Upper middle and lowers – this is a reef one kilometer long with what be considered world class surfing – or Balian or Sindu beach or Sanur general or Tangungs that happen to be offshore from sun up to sunset seven days a week from March till September!!!!!!!!

Ask any west Australian surfer – a person who knows what they are talking about to give you an honest opinion on weather Indonesia provides the best surfing and beaches and general conditions for hava good time and they will tell you that Indo compared to Australia wins hands down. Just check Tracks surfing magazine somewhere mid 2003 where they polled some 60000 Aussie and US / Euro/ Worldwide surfers to ask what are the top 100 breaks in the world. And have a guess what came up trumps….. Desert Point Lombok NUMBER 1 over every other break in the world. Not only that there were 4 others that just happen to be in the top ten including G Land Java Uluwattu and Padang. several other Indo beaches made the grade in the top 20. And this remember also are polls taken by people who know all about beaches. Not people who say should I stay I should I go!!!!!

Bit of a yawn on the sunsets Freo girl …. Yer well I gotta tell ya babe unless you done some serious time in Indo you would not know the difference. Cos the incidence of a good sunset in WA and Bali is pretty much the same. Only difference is when the sun goes down in WA you have got your head up your arse watching the 6.00pm news cos the westerly wind is shit instead of enjoying a Pina Coloda on the beach at Seminyak

And I agree that the tourist experience is somewhat different from the expat experience. Maybe you should attempt to do the latter instead of jumping on the bandwagon and supporting a person who is talking shit instead of being the big sister in a very non patriotic way to which you are not!!!!

I won’t have a bar of people who are condescending because they can’t make up there minds about weather their comfort zones are good or not. Or any other people who think they are better than thou … even though they have never tried it out once n life.

Here’s a clue Tink/Freo – Go and Do it …..And tell me about it. Don’t give me should I stay I should I go …. PLEASE

Check people like Bert Roy and Phil or any other expat. They are people living it.

Happy Days

 

[Dasha]

Apologies ladys.... Dasha's been to the footy and had too much to drink again. Sorry

 

[Ipanema]

Dasha

My brother in law owns a surfing resort off Sumatra - have you ever surfed the Mentawai Islands


http://www.macaronisresort.com/

 

[Ipanema]

Dasha

Shame on you. You are starting to sound like some other ex posters who chased people off this forum.

You wrote:
"I won’t have a bar of people who are condescending because they can’t make up there minds about weather their comfort zones are good or not."

I did not read anywhere in those posts that were condescending only people posting on a forum that they have been participating in for quite a while.

You also wrote
Apologies ladys.... Dasha's been to the footy and had too much to drink again. Sorry

Sorry but that is no excuse.

 

[Tinkerbelle]

Dasha, the heading 'Should I stay or should I go' was for anyone wanting to put there say under it . If you read my article it clearly states I have made my decision. Like I said everyone will have a different opinion thats theire choice. I am not condescending I clearly have made my choice and explained how I came to that. Like I said theres good and bad to live in any country and you have just shown me one of the worst reasons to live in Australia ignorant drunk aussies.

 

[Lee]

Tinkerbelle, you have made a wise decision I think, get the best of both worlds. I have been living here for almost 12 years and believe me things become a bit hum drum and routine just like anywhere that you live in the world, just with different background scenery.

Its great if you have a decent income to live off and something to keep you occupied, but those options aren’t always available. Not everyone is into surfing.

Like I said theres good and bad to live in any country and you have just shown me one of the worst reasons to live in Australia ignorant drunk aussies.

There are plenty of those here in Bali also, too many.

 

[Tinkerbelle]

Hi Lee, funny you read my mind. When I do visit Bali that is one thing I do not like about the nightlife there and have stated this to the Balinese pub staff that the behaviour of the arrogant drunk Aussies spoils it. Thanks to all who have replied to my article and have understood what I have said it is not rocket science!. Dasha you can keep your apology as you will obviously need it for the next person you offend. Have you heard the saying a drunk speaks the truth about his true feelings?. There is no need to reply Dasha as I have now said all I need to say to you and I do not waste my time on negative people. Lee I am definately not into surfing I live in Hillarys here in Perth and that beach suits me just fine for the boys and myself, Mullaloo and scarborough are also a fav of mine. I am not a beach person so this does not really affect my decision on where I would like to live. The privacy of my own home is what I like most. When its just me here I walk on my treadmill sunbathe out the back and love taking long hot baths ahhh pure bliss ha ha. Hmm freogirl said she used to have people peering into her windows in Bali I don't want that ha ha. I can't see the Balinese having an Aussie rules footy team in the near future so I would miss the footy. I am also into live music and go to many concerts last being Rob Thomas and Nickelback so again more food for thought about people making that move to Bali. I am still counting the days to my holiday in July and can't wait to see my Balinese friends and looking forward to the trek to Singaraja to visit the kiddies in the orphanage up there .

 

[CAP]

Hi Tinkabell,freogirl etc,Ive just been reading all the above and must have a wee laugh to myself.Freogirl your very astute in saying " that if your an expay for too long " its hard to go home.My Indo wife and 2 kids made the decision after 7 years to leave Indo last year,believe me it was like being reborn into a world with no friends and family as Dasha states there is deffinetly no family or social structure in Aust if you compare it to the warm friendly careing enviroment that is Indonesia.When we made the decision to move away I was so confused and didnt want to go back to the west at all ,it made me shiver at the thought so I gave the decison to my wife as to where we would move to,and guess what ! she picked WA..........Why ? Caused there is a Jet Plane back home to Indo everyday,and it only take 3.5 hrs.Anybody that knows Indonesian people will know how easy it is for them to adapt so it was easy for my wife when we arrived but for me I might as well have arrived with a one way ticket to mars.Just walking thru the Malls was weird it seemed like the people were just flesh and bone with no spirit.So now we have been here 10 mths and now live in a Brick and tile near the beach in Mandurah.For me and this is the result of being an expat in Indo for 7 yrs that speaks fluent Indo and has friends and family from one end of the Archpeligo to the other ,I just dream about the place constantly Text back and forth and try to keep up my relationships with all there.I guess I should tell you why we left......A mirid of reasons but mainly so that the kids could get an eduacation with a future which is not available in Indo unless youve got big $ for schooling,and the economic factor for living became a problem too.Its hard to bring up a family when your income is constantly being affected by external factors like Bombs,money crisis,Chinese products,Floods ,Landslides,Birdflu,demonstrations and all the other interferences that are simply Indonesia.
I know there are alot of people still surviving in Indo and I wish them all the luck,It would be a breeze if you never had kids to consider .
Ok . Its not far away and try to mix with Indonesian expats here and that will ease the pain some what.
Regards Cap

 

[DCC]

I agree with "don't know with your going with this". What's your point Tink? If it's to share your personal feelings on leaving home, so be it. If it's to say Bali doesn't fit you, fine. But if it's to say Bali isn't what it was or should be, so what? It is what it is and for every reason you can come up with for staying away someone else can do the same with reasons to make the move.

After my first and only visit, a 30 day stay, I went back to the US sold everything and moved here - and after many ups and downs, constant reflection on my move, self doubt and self discovery, etc., etc., etc., I am more than happy I did what I did and can not envision a scenario whereby I will not spend my remaining days here. Although my grand plans include a few months a year in the West (Argentina anyone?), I have not been in anywhere else in which it is possible to fuse my lifestyle with an ancient culture, history, and humanity of place like that which Bali has to offer.

But to each his own in terms of place and home. I will admit that following my first few months of wonder and excitement I fell into a prolonged funk over my perceptions of Indonesia's shortcomings on number of issues. I have discovered that's to be expected as part of the stranger in strange land experience - fortunately I got over it, some (like Texan's) don't. A friend recently commented to me upon his return to Bali from his former home in France that here ... the pain is on the street for all to see but in the West the pain is in the hearts and minds, and it's growing.

Oh yea, after a couple years down south I'm in the planning stages for the life of a recluse in Ubud, yea baby!!!!