Ratih, you make a very valid point…that a lot of Asian women do just fine when removed from their cultural environment. I think though that the backgrounds of these women share a commonality…highly educated, perhaps even in the West, family already there (in the West), or at least some experience with the West beyond their spouse. In my experience, (shared by friends), this applies equally to Indo/Balinese men married to western women who leave Bali/Indo to live with their wife in the West, or the states.
In most of the major population centers of Australia, there are large pockets of mixed OZ/Indo, and OZ/Bali marriages. In all of these centers, the Balinese, and other Indonesians seem to know one another, and frequently get together. I have been told over and over by Indo/Balinese that live in OZ with their spouse, that this helps a lot in their marriages. The urge and importance to maintain cultural ties is vitally important, and for the Balinese in particular, it seems to me to be absolutely essential.
My Balinese wife has a great interest in traveling to the states with me and our boys when they are old enough to appreciate it, and remember the experience. She is college educated, but I have no doubts that if I had taken her back to the states after we were married, she would have grown tremendously home sick. I realize that I am very, very fortunate to be able to prosper in Bali, and that we can live in my wife’s village, surrounded by her family.
Wow! Some really great stories from Iris, Dr. Bruce, Jimbo, Feelhip, Richard and Gemma. They are all personal sharing, not often encountered on a forum, and truly heart felt.
Kim, you started this string. If you’re good at “reading between the lines” I think the clear message is, “don’t give up.” One of the best quotes I’ve ever heard on the topic of love came from what could be construed as an odd source, a very close friend, a second lieutenant in the US Marines, and a highly decorated Vietnam War veteran. As he put it, “love is a verb.”
