Visiting Lombok in October and i,m scared for my life

[Nel_son]

Well how can I put this? I step in poop. LOL not so funny I did it to myself. You see I meet this girl through a dating site lonely hearts kind of thing. I found her and decided back in February that lombok would be my destination because I’m traveling alone. Now come the hard part. We have fell in love and now one here seems to understand that. They say many stereotypes about foreigners only wanting to immigrate etc. You know all the bad assumptions. Well she has proved many things to me and we decide we want to get married. But I’m having second thoughts. This was supposed to be my vacation only, not some combo. I said one day get married no on my holiday. She has proved everything I ask for, Aids test, etc. If I tell her to jump she says how high. I tried once to explain to her that divorcing and jumping into another relationship especial marriage is not healthy.
Its my fault for pushing the dream to far. We both have children same age. WE have this nice dream for her to come here. She wants me to marry when I get there, have the ceremony and convert to Hinduism. I don’t know what to do I’m so naïve I don’t want to hurt her or be hurt. I just want to enjoy my vacation but I keep changing my mind. I’m one of those. I should have not crossed that line and popped the question especial online.
I mean I got scared. She sent my pictures naked ones and we had a fight, then I said I was going to buy a ring and purpose to her. I mean I think she can handle the rejection because I have taken her through an emotional roller coaster I feel bad because I’m not sure if I want to marry her. I only know her from yahoo chat, phone calls, pictures through mail letter etc. I’m not a bad guy buy she promised she would not pressure me.
I wish I never started anything I m, sacred what she might do to me I’m Canadian. Can she cause some kind of trouble for me there?

 

[Bert Vierstra]

I guess you need to meet a few times in real life before you make any decisions, don't you think?

Don't rush this.

 

[Aliceinbali]

Oh no! Never ever ever meet a woman online and promise such things as marriage. If she is comfortable with such a thing.. RUN for the hills!

You are merely a meal ticket, a ticket to the western world and a free ride. IF on the the other hand you met a woman in person, knew her famliy, her life and her reputation.. that is a total diffrent situtation.
NO good Asian woman would be ready to leave her life, famliy, religion in heart beat doe some unknown guy online. All of those things are life itself too a great asian woman and to give such things up would take a life altering thing or man to a great woman.

I have a very good friend who did as your doing but with a Java lady.
She took him for everything he had and he never knew what hit him.

He felt obligated to do as he said he would do online because he always tried to be a great guy. For gods sake, don't do it. If i were a man in your shoes Id cancel my trip to Lombok and go to Bali instead! Run run run!
Anywhere but there. Listen to your inner voice. Thats self preservation calling. :evil:

 

[Nel_son]

well i did put the breaks on very fast. I will not let her break me. After all this was my vacation so along the way it was puppy love. Well somehow i got sucked in by her many " hard luck stories" but she knows very well i,m not stupid. I am still going i deserve my vacation. What could realy happen if i go. She already knows that i,m n ot jumping into something i,m not sure. WE still have to meet like bert said. I will not go nowhere with her on her motor bike. Hell i live in canada where winnipeg is considered murder capital of Canada. I dont live in some cozy niegbourhood, its pretty getto, people have been stabe beaten, rob, killed etc. Boarded up homes around here are the norm. So i can say i have street smarts. LOL i know everyone must be laughing. Anyway i will be around many foreiners and around my hotel. In fact i know she can try or will put me in some kind of trouble . any sugestions ? anyone, on what she might do to me once i,m there ?

 

[matahari]

just put an end to it, if someone is willing to mary you only based on some online chatting and a few letters is no doubtly after your money or something likewise, and that you even consider marriage
without ever meating this girl is absurd.

 

[Aliceinbali]

I also had a friend meet a woman In Lombock and went back to Lombock with her, two laters he was put in the hospital. He was just lucky someone found him. The girl disappeared on him and it turned out that it was her famliy that mugged him.

Took his wallet and all.. He was just glad he didnt get badly hurt.

 

[Aliceinbali]

I have always wondered how men can be led around by the horemones and just the thought of meeting a woman can make them lose thier mind. I know women do it too, but men are suppose to be more rational and logical. *lol* half joke there.. I know all humans want to be loved, sexed up and wanted. But the stupity that sometimes arrises when it comes to westerns and the Indonesian people amazes me. BOth men and women. Myself included in that statment. Ive seen so many people in my days of living in Bali that think that Balinese are some kind of purely new nieve, innocent race of humans. Many think they are not capable of the horrible things that all people do. Perhaps the lack of communication and langauge barriers makes us westerns drop our guards more easliy. But one thing I know for sure is they as a people are inteliigent, capable and industrious people and just because they live diffrently then us does not mean they need to be rescued, saved or have pitty for. Judge them as normal humans with all the normal good and bads, dont drop your senses or guards just because they great smiles or because they are lovely to look at.
Think, feel and enjoy, but never once think they are nieve or uncapable of bad or wonderful things.

 

[Git]

Dear Alice in bali
Verry well put !
(by the way are you the same alice that makes shadow puppets in alice in wonderland style?) If it is you i saw your website months ago.

Anytime you travel as a single anyplace on this planet its a bit troublesome,this includes bali. It is also the pure fact of poverty that makes some people do trickery on others as in your case. The Balinese woman are the most beautifull in the world and if i were a male i would slip into la la land myself. In fact the balinese males are beautifull aswell many gigolo's on kuta,geger,sanur beaches looking for single females.
Been approached myself by one of these because mostly i travel alone (yes i'm married,husband is afraid to fly 20+ hours to bali).
My suggestion is forget it..................go and enjoy your vacation,change your email contact. Your head is in the clouds....i feel for you but i see through it all from an objective viewpoint.
Gina Tyler

 

[Roy]

I love this string, and it's wonderfully ammusing.

I once "threw caution to the wind" and it scared me to death. I was lucky, or was I? I don't think so, as luck had nothing to do with the end.

Reading the preceeding posts by obviously non Balinese women makes me laugh. And, I have to wonder how much western women really understand the "wanita di Bali?" More to the point could be a better question....and that would be, "how much do western women understand their men?"

As an understatement, I could say that most western men who chose Bali as home have no interest in western woman. Yes, I understand that point is somewhat pushed, but it is a fact.

I wrote an article, some five, maybe six years ago, and I will "dig it up" from my archives or CD's and put it here again. Disagreement or even abject anger is accepted....but the truth, that being that most expatriate men prefer Balinese women as their spouse, is undeniable.

 

[Jimbo]

I will be very interested to see this Roy before adding my two pennorth.

 

[Git]

Dear Roy
If you are speaking of myself,I am Indonesian born in Bandoeng Java. My entire family is from the island of Java,now living in bali.
I have lived in europe for a long time and in the usa for a long time i know the situation verry well.
Western women like equality the 'old submissive' dinosaur ways of being a slave for the male population is still done in bali and java,yes i know isee it in my own aunts,mother.
Gina Tyler