The curse of being an ugly bule in Indonesia

harry_ej

New Member
Mar 10, 2008
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Most western guys in Indonesia are perceived handsome by Indonesian standards, white skin and blue eyes and a long nose are features they lust for. Indonesian girls are especially impressed by the height of the average Western guy.

Most foreign multinationals etc know this and they send expatriates that are tall even by Western standards.

When i came to Indonesia around 1994 i had been a natural bodybuilder for about 6 years. I was 5.7 tall and had green eyes and blond hair. I wentt with my friendd also from the Netherlands. We entered Indonesia after a one year stay on a working holiday visa in Australia.

My Dutch friend was very tall and scrawny with a goaty and he had Woody Allen Glasses. He also had a very long nose like many t all and lanky/scrawny guys have. Physically i was quite the opposite of him and to tell the truth he was very frustrated when we entered Indonesia and had almost been at the point to return home because in Australia he could not get any girls whereas i had had quite a few. I´d had girls from UK, France, Canada, Israel and Aussies.

In Indonesia the table would turn completely and unexpectedly. We stayed together and traveled from Kupang all the way to Jakarta in 2 months. Suddenly i was mister invisible and he was the celebrated movie star as far as the indonesian girls were concerned. Wherever we went and on every island we travelled through he always was surrounded by eager Indonesian girls. In the 2 months we travelled to Jakarta he must have had over 25 beautiful girls, i had not one single one. When we reached Jakarta i was the frustrated guy.

In Jakarta we went our seperate ways, i moved on to Sumatra after i had extended my visa in Singapore and he stayed on in Jakarta. Back then the Internet and email were not yet big so he kept me updated by letters, letters i would prefer not to have read because they only added to my frustration. Where i sampled the Sumatran delights minus the local girls he was a star in the Jakarta Nightclubs like Ebony, Stardust, Hardrock and even Tanamur (notorious for the ladies of the night but back then still frequented by many regular girls also). He also had a lot of hi-so regular girlfriends many of whom were Chinese-indonesian. He send me their pictures, they were all gorgeous.

I finally reached Bukit Lawang on the slopes of the Gunung Leuser NP and decided to have a break. I went into the jungle all by myself without a g uide even though many had told me it was too dangerous and that i would get lost, apparently a German guy had dissapeared alone in the Jungle a couple of years before. He had never been seen again.

I wandered around the jungle, and 3 weeks later completely dehydrated and starved and full of blisters and tropical olsters i stumbled into a woodcutter camp. I had lost more than 18 kilo (all muscle) and was now as scrawny as my Dutch friend in Jakarta albeit still not as tall.

The cutters gave me food and water and later they brought me into town where i had a medical check up. My stool was full of worms and parasites and some wounds were infected but with proper medical care i was soon back in good health.

I took a bus back to Jakarta and met my Dutch friend again who initially did not recognise me. The last time he had seen me he had seen a guy with a body builders physique and now that physique was completely gone.
 

milan

Member
Mar 20, 2008
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You really know the Jakarta night scene alright. I used to live in Jakarta so your depiction of the clubs there are accurate. The good old days in Tanamur was fantastic as the foreign elites including Ambassadors would just go there too. But do all these clubs still exist? The last time I was in Jkt end 2006, friends took me to Dragonfly.
Anyway, back to you. As you probably know by now, I'm Indonesian so I guess I could help in assesing your personal situation with girls? Well, you're not an ugly bule, first of all. But perhaps your ways of approaching the girls are off especially standing beside this tall Dutch guy? I don't think it's a problem of physique or aesthetic. From your Avatar, if that is you...how could you turn off girls with your look ? (I'm advicing here as a big sister, ok?).
So, roll up your sleeves and try again!!... :wink:
I'm married to not-so-tall Italian but his way of courting/ship is NUMERO UNO! He swept off my feet but in a very romantic, old-fashioned, masculine way. Yet, my types have always been tall. But come to think of it. Look at Carla Bruni Sarkozy, alright?

Ciao!
 

froggy

Member
Sep 22, 2006
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Houston, Texas
Harry, your story seems to end prematuarly, BTW, i think you look like a prison inmate, a serial killer or something,,, the color or somethings off!
 

harry_ej

New Member
Mar 10, 2008
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This all happened a very long time ago, and i was actually very well with the girls (romantic and confident and funny) as opposed to my friend :)

the thing is that in Indonesia my friend did not so much approach the girls, he was being approached and asked out everywhere every time, even for instance when we were taking transport (we were obviously traveling a lot) such as ferry or bus or train girls would ask if they could sit next to him or if we were standing around they would flock at him :)

He was very shy and akward around girls before he came to Indonesia, as a matter of fact he had never dated a girl before. 8 months later he left Indonesia as a complete different man.

I stayed for many more years in Indonesia, i left in 1998

This time when i go back to Indonesia it will not be for the girls. I´m much older now and even though still very single i´m not frustrated anymore, these things happened when we were young and still full of hopes and dreams and ego :)

It is my avatar from a photo of myself but i have drawn it from the photo so it got rid of a few wrinkles here and there.

About the clubs and if they still exist i would not know, i have not been back in Jakarta since 2003
 

milan

Member
Mar 20, 2008
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Eww... then I wouldn't know what kind of girls they are. They're the ones who approached? Then I'm out of touch here. Thought I could help.
For this reason quite a number of bule/foreigners/white men became playboys in Jakarta because it's "easy come, easy go" :lol: Ooh la la!! I wonder if Bali is the same.