I didn't want to hijack Jimbo's post about going to Bali http://www.bali-information.com/expat_forum/viewtopic.php?t=17395, but feel the need to share my experience about loosing a parent while living on the other side of our planet.
Many (western) people I meet in Europe or Bali have a desire to move to Bali or abroad nowadays. But a lot of them are kept by a secure life and job or a close circle of relatives and friends. This has been our case as well.
I remember myself explaining to people that we couldn't wait until my parents had died to pursue our dream (my wife's parents have passed away already). Our decision hurt my parents and our best friends a lot, but they knew we needed to go and it has not influenced our true friendship.
My relationship with my parents has always been higher than Mount Agung. And that gave me a feeling of guilt as stated in the other post. The replies there helped me a lot upon arrival in Holland. What happened last week has been a roller coaster ride... Lots of ups and downs, with a good feeling afterwards in another sense.
My parents have been to Bali and Asia many times, but have spent their yearly winterperiod in Bali from last January to April in Bali for the first time since we live there/here. Despite the long distance contact we had had in the 1,5 years before their arrival, they were still concerned to see if we were doing ok (as parents do). And although there were no leased Volvo's or executive meetings present, they realised that my personal and family life had gained in quality a lot. That made me so happy.
In the last weeks of their stay, my father became ill up to the point that he became a regular customer at BIMC and hospitals in Denpasar who have MRI scans etc. They found a serious thread around his kidneys and advised him to immediately have it checked upon his return to Holland (within 1 week at that time).
It went too fast, and to make a long story short. I took a plane and arrived last week. I couldn't be more thankful for the way it has gone. I have spent a week in hospital and supporting my mother and sister (vice versa). I have been able to say the things that I have always been to macho to say to my dad. I have been able to help to urge the doctors to end his life as was his desire since he was taken to intensive care yesterday.
This afternoon he died. And I must say it's not easy to have to decide the moment to take off the oxigen and medication and wait until the monitor shows zero's...
However, I feel fortunate in a way, because of our time in my life with him, in Bali and last week. It was like running marathons each day mentally, but we made the finish. I feel that I can continue my life in Bali or any place in the future without any scrupulous.
My mother will come to visit for sure and we'll have a dinner at Jimbaran beach to remember him.
Many (western) people I meet in Europe or Bali have a desire to move to Bali or abroad nowadays. But a lot of them are kept by a secure life and job or a close circle of relatives and friends. This has been our case as well.
I remember myself explaining to people that we couldn't wait until my parents had died to pursue our dream (my wife's parents have passed away already). Our decision hurt my parents and our best friends a lot, but they knew we needed to go and it has not influenced our true friendship.
My relationship with my parents has always been higher than Mount Agung. And that gave me a feeling of guilt as stated in the other post. The replies there helped me a lot upon arrival in Holland. What happened last week has been a roller coaster ride... Lots of ups and downs, with a good feeling afterwards in another sense.
My parents have been to Bali and Asia many times, but have spent their yearly winterperiod in Bali from last January to April in Bali for the first time since we live there/here. Despite the long distance contact we had had in the 1,5 years before their arrival, they were still concerned to see if we were doing ok (as parents do). And although there were no leased Volvo's or executive meetings present, they realised that my personal and family life had gained in quality a lot. That made me so happy.
In the last weeks of their stay, my father became ill up to the point that he became a regular customer at BIMC and hospitals in Denpasar who have MRI scans etc. They found a serious thread around his kidneys and advised him to immediately have it checked upon his return to Holland (within 1 week at that time).
It went too fast, and to make a long story short. I took a plane and arrived last week. I couldn't be more thankful for the way it has gone. I have spent a week in hospital and supporting my mother and sister (vice versa). I have been able to say the things that I have always been to macho to say to my dad. I have been able to help to urge the doctors to end his life as was his desire since he was taken to intensive care yesterday.
This afternoon he died. And I must say it's not easy to have to decide the moment to take off the oxigen and medication and wait until the monitor shows zero's...
However, I feel fortunate in a way, because of our time in my life with him, in Bali and last week. It was like running marathons each day mentally, but we made the finish. I feel that I can continue my life in Bali or any place in the future without any scrupulous.
My mother will come to visit for sure and we'll have a dinner at Jimbaran beach to remember him.
