Since four weeks before Christmas, my father was sick, he had a serious cold as it looked, tried to cure his self with all and everything, had really difficulties with his bronchia, was coughing like an old dog, but as always denied to visit a doctor.
It took my mum a long time before she could get him to see a doctor, he was treated because of his bronchia, nothing serious so far.
Nothing changed, he could hardly breath, got more and more weak, I really thought he had a kind of depression, because he was doing nothing, but hanging around and suffering, not interested in anything.
At the 14th of Jan he finally had an appointment at a lung specialist, the doctor immediately sent him to a colleague, a heart specialist who made at first a heart echo with him.
He found out, that my father had a terrible heart sufficiency, his heart was alread blown up like a balloon, he called the emergency to take him to the hospital for intensive care.
My father was always afraid of doctors and especially of needles, now he had to face a lot of them, after some hours he was already joking, that they would make possibly sausages from all the blood, they were taking from him.
My mum called me and got a kind of hysterical, only ten month before, her mother was facing the same doctors and died very surprising, also because of the heart, I tried to calm her down a bit, could not imagine that my father would be in any danger, I was at Stuttgart about 200km far from my parents home.
He felt better, I stayed in Stuttgart at my work, intended to visit him at the weekend, also because the doctors wanted to take him to a normal ward, out of the intensive care.
At Thursday the 16th, I just came back from lunch, it was 13:30h my brother called me on the cellular phone, he said, my father would have had a stroke and would be on neurological intensive care now.
I left all how it was, went home, packed some clothes and drove directly to my parents house.
An employee of my mother told me, that they are at the hospital and where to go, I went straight to the office of the professor there, he has known my father and begged me in.
The professor told me, that my father had a massive brain-infarction in the right half of his brain, that his whole left side would be completely paralyzed, that his heart would have only a performance of 15% and that the situation would be very serious, in other words, he would have almost no chance to survive this, I was really shocked, had expected anything, but not this.
I went down to the ward with the professor and visited my father, he had his eyes open, but as I was standing on the wrong side of the bed, he could not realize me, it was really hard to bear, the surrounding of the bed was more looking like out of a science-fiction movie.
I got home, met my brother there and my mother, we were sitting in the kitchen, think I don't have to describe the mood.
The most terrible for me was, I have known already more than them, but what could I have told them, they strongly believed, that my father would get well, more or less.
Friday morning we had an appointment with the professor, my mum, Eric and me went there,
it turned out, that the situation got worse dramatically at night, at 02:00h they made a CT, after my father's pupils were numb and he lost the reflexes, now almost the whole right half of his brain was affected, he needed a breathing machine now.
The doctor insinuated, that my father would not survive the next two nights.
They made the bill without him, my father had the constitution from a bear, always at least one of us were at his side, me, mother, Eric, his girlfriend, my fathers brother, my mothers brother, at least two times a day we were there, for hours, talking to him, holding his hand, watching all the monitors, listening to the sound of the breathing machine.
When I was not at the hospital, I started to take care for his business, reading files, calling customers, architects, visiting building sites, checking the financial things, dealing with his employees, organising the one or other thing, spending comfort to my mum.
My father improved, although he was in coma, every of us would swore, that he was reacting on our speech and touch, sometimes he pressed my hand so strong, that it hurts, he was strong.
It was happiness, when he started to breath by his own, although with the support of the machine, when one of us got the impression, that he was able to understand us, when he was moving his head a tiny bit, when he has bitten a nurse, while she nursed his mouth, you become a specialist in the medical equipment after some days, you know what every different sound of an alarm means, you know for what every medication is, he is receiving, from all this many injectomats, all the big syringes, all the infusions and so on.
You are watching the curves at the monitor of the breathing machine, the heart frequency, the content of oxygen in his blood, the pressure inside his veins and of his arteries and so much more.
I stopped smoking just one week before this all happened, was so proud, did not had any problems, started again, also my mother.
Every hour my girlfriend from Brazil was calling me on the cell, unbelievable how she participated at this situation, also the other friends over there, there were praying, they showed a lot of compassion, provided so much support.
Aninha is the love of my life, every time I went out from the ward, there was a message on the mailbox of my mobil, she always finds the right words, she is so sensitive, so warm, she is the balm on my soul.
My mum started to make herself some illusions, she started to think, my father could get home, she thought she could take care of him even when he would be in a wheelchair, it was hard for me, how could I have destroyed her hope, at the other hand, I could not let her fly so high, I have known, she will get disappointed due this wish.
I was also very glad, for every little thing, that seems to be an improvement, it is amazing how less it takes to provide yourself a bit of happiness, also you know there is no hope, you don't want to believe this.
At the Tuesday 21st, I was the whole afternoon at his side, at 17:00h there was another CT, I went home, at 19:00h back to the hospital together with my mum and my brother.
A young, fucking arrogant assistance doctor explained us the result of the CT, in a way which brought my blood to cooking, the bloody bastard told us that my father had 5 strokes in the meantime and that almost his whole brain, all parts of his brain are affected, it was like the mechanic tells you, that the generator of your car is broken.
Now every remaining spark of hope was destroyed, the next morning we had another appointment with the professor.
This man is really great, he is so sensitive and skilfully, he didn't named, but everybody has known, he didn't asked, but everybody has agreed, he was riding on the blade, he took a big risk for his own, but he helped my father and he helped us, a really impressing personality.
The matter was, to minimalize the therapy, which means to allow my father to die.
I always thought to work on such a ward, the most people are passing way there, you must become a kind of cold, but how wrong I was, all the staff there, the nurses are really doing such a marvellous job, they feel with the patients and the relatives, they are providing such a lot of support, they are so gentle toward the patients and especially toward us, its really incredible, never expected something like this, this are really special people, they deserve a lot of respect, it's a fucking shame how they are paid for this work.
It was one of the nurses, who experimented with the settings of the breathing machine, she realized, how my father could be encouraged to breath by his own, that was the key.
When the professor saw this, we had a chance to get him from the machine, the first they stopped the morphine, it is depressing the breathing, with the different setting, my father started to breath by his own, at this time already 75% of his brain was dead, at first for four hours, the next day for 12 hours.
By law it is not allowed to switch off the machine, my father could have been there for eternity, so he had to prove that he was not needing the machine "anymore", that he could breath by his own and he did.
The whole Monday he was breathing alone, at Tuesday the 28th the hospital asked for an appointment, when they wanted to get him off the machine, we made an appointment at the professor at 13:30h.
He explained and assured that my father is not feeling and will not feel any pain, that he will not suffer, he said after some hours after taking him from the machine, he will be able to pass away.
At 14:00h he got rid of the breathing machine, we were all at his bed, every hour the professor came to look after him, my father once more surprised all of us and also the stuff, they have never seen anything comparable.
He was so stable, sleeping like a baby, at 22:00h the professor said, we all should go home and sleep, it could take 12, 24 or 48 hours in the condition he was, nothing changed, so we decided to go home and to come back in the morning, otherwise the hospital would call us.
It was exactly 7:00h, I was just in the bathroom, my mum screamed from downstairs, hurry up, the hospital was just calling, it is really close to my parents house, about 4 or 5 km, I was driving like hell, despite of the snow, at 7:10h and under contempt of any traffic rules, I stopped right in front of the intensive care, we were knocking on the window, after 20 endless seconds, somebody opened a door.
We have been told to wait a bit, my mum got hysterical and I have known, we were too late,
My father died at the Wed 29th February 2003 at 7:05 h, he was 59 years old.
The funeral was incredible, masses of people and the whole schedule got lost, we expected a lot of people, because my father was well known everywhere, but not like this, people were also coming from France and the best, my love, Ana Luiza came over from Brazil to be at my side, the whole cemetery was filled with people and the funeral service did not know, where to put all the masses of flowers.
I don't know, why I wrote this, I also don't know if or why I will post this at a Bali-forum,
I really don't have time or any interest in forums anymore, I'm more than busy at the moment and also for the future. At the moment I have to satisfy my commitment to my company, where I'm still paid, which is usually more than a full-time job, at the same time I have to lead my father's company and also have to sight a lot of things due this and if it wouldn't be enough, at Saturday my mum broke her leg, she was operated and is in hospital, which means I also have to take care for her business, which is quite difficult at the moment.
Last night I took Aninha to the airport, she arrived this morning at 7:00h local time, got changed and went straight to the office, I miss her, will take some time again, before we are together again, but we are planning for a common future, will not let her go anymore then, my mum and everybody really loved her, its quite easy to love her.
It took my mum a long time before she could get him to see a doctor, he was treated because of his bronchia, nothing serious so far.
Nothing changed, he could hardly breath, got more and more weak, I really thought he had a kind of depression, because he was doing nothing, but hanging around and suffering, not interested in anything.
At the 14th of Jan he finally had an appointment at a lung specialist, the doctor immediately sent him to a colleague, a heart specialist who made at first a heart echo with him.
He found out, that my father had a terrible heart sufficiency, his heart was alread blown up like a balloon, he called the emergency to take him to the hospital for intensive care.
My father was always afraid of doctors and especially of needles, now he had to face a lot of them, after some hours he was already joking, that they would make possibly sausages from all the blood, they were taking from him.
My mum called me and got a kind of hysterical, only ten month before, her mother was facing the same doctors and died very surprising, also because of the heart, I tried to calm her down a bit, could not imagine that my father would be in any danger, I was at Stuttgart about 200km far from my parents home.
He felt better, I stayed in Stuttgart at my work, intended to visit him at the weekend, also because the doctors wanted to take him to a normal ward, out of the intensive care.
At Thursday the 16th, I just came back from lunch, it was 13:30h my brother called me on the cellular phone, he said, my father would have had a stroke and would be on neurological intensive care now.
I left all how it was, went home, packed some clothes and drove directly to my parents house.
An employee of my mother told me, that they are at the hospital and where to go, I went straight to the office of the professor there, he has known my father and begged me in.
The professor told me, that my father had a massive brain-infarction in the right half of his brain, that his whole left side would be completely paralyzed, that his heart would have only a performance of 15% and that the situation would be very serious, in other words, he would have almost no chance to survive this, I was really shocked, had expected anything, but not this.
I went down to the ward with the professor and visited my father, he had his eyes open, but as I was standing on the wrong side of the bed, he could not realize me, it was really hard to bear, the surrounding of the bed was more looking like out of a science-fiction movie.
I got home, met my brother there and my mother, we were sitting in the kitchen, think I don't have to describe the mood.
The most terrible for me was, I have known already more than them, but what could I have told them, they strongly believed, that my father would get well, more or less.
Friday morning we had an appointment with the professor, my mum, Eric and me went there,
it turned out, that the situation got worse dramatically at night, at 02:00h they made a CT, after my father's pupils were numb and he lost the reflexes, now almost the whole right half of his brain was affected, he needed a breathing machine now.
The doctor insinuated, that my father would not survive the next two nights.
They made the bill without him, my father had the constitution from a bear, always at least one of us were at his side, me, mother, Eric, his girlfriend, my fathers brother, my mothers brother, at least two times a day we were there, for hours, talking to him, holding his hand, watching all the monitors, listening to the sound of the breathing machine.
When I was not at the hospital, I started to take care for his business, reading files, calling customers, architects, visiting building sites, checking the financial things, dealing with his employees, organising the one or other thing, spending comfort to my mum.
My father improved, although he was in coma, every of us would swore, that he was reacting on our speech and touch, sometimes he pressed my hand so strong, that it hurts, he was strong.
It was happiness, when he started to breath by his own, although with the support of the machine, when one of us got the impression, that he was able to understand us, when he was moving his head a tiny bit, when he has bitten a nurse, while she nursed his mouth, you become a specialist in the medical equipment after some days, you know what every different sound of an alarm means, you know for what every medication is, he is receiving, from all this many injectomats, all the big syringes, all the infusions and so on.
You are watching the curves at the monitor of the breathing machine, the heart frequency, the content of oxygen in his blood, the pressure inside his veins and of his arteries and so much more.
I stopped smoking just one week before this all happened, was so proud, did not had any problems, started again, also my mother.
Every hour my girlfriend from Brazil was calling me on the cell, unbelievable how she participated at this situation, also the other friends over there, there were praying, they showed a lot of compassion, provided so much support.
Aninha is the love of my life, every time I went out from the ward, there was a message on the mailbox of my mobil, she always finds the right words, she is so sensitive, so warm, she is the balm on my soul.
My mum started to make herself some illusions, she started to think, my father could get home, she thought she could take care of him even when he would be in a wheelchair, it was hard for me, how could I have destroyed her hope, at the other hand, I could not let her fly so high, I have known, she will get disappointed due this wish.
I was also very glad, for every little thing, that seems to be an improvement, it is amazing how less it takes to provide yourself a bit of happiness, also you know there is no hope, you don't want to believe this.
At the Tuesday 21st, I was the whole afternoon at his side, at 17:00h there was another CT, I went home, at 19:00h back to the hospital together with my mum and my brother.
A young, fucking arrogant assistance doctor explained us the result of the CT, in a way which brought my blood to cooking, the bloody bastard told us that my father had 5 strokes in the meantime and that almost his whole brain, all parts of his brain are affected, it was like the mechanic tells you, that the generator of your car is broken.
Now every remaining spark of hope was destroyed, the next morning we had another appointment with the professor.
This man is really great, he is so sensitive and skilfully, he didn't named, but everybody has known, he didn't asked, but everybody has agreed, he was riding on the blade, he took a big risk for his own, but he helped my father and he helped us, a really impressing personality.
The matter was, to minimalize the therapy, which means to allow my father to die.
I always thought to work on such a ward, the most people are passing way there, you must become a kind of cold, but how wrong I was, all the staff there, the nurses are really doing such a marvellous job, they feel with the patients and the relatives, they are providing such a lot of support, they are so gentle toward the patients and especially toward us, its really incredible, never expected something like this, this are really special people, they deserve a lot of respect, it's a fucking shame how they are paid for this work.
It was one of the nurses, who experimented with the settings of the breathing machine, she realized, how my father could be encouraged to breath by his own, that was the key.
When the professor saw this, we had a chance to get him from the machine, the first they stopped the morphine, it is depressing the breathing, with the different setting, my father started to breath by his own, at this time already 75% of his brain was dead, at first for four hours, the next day for 12 hours.
By law it is not allowed to switch off the machine, my father could have been there for eternity, so he had to prove that he was not needing the machine "anymore", that he could breath by his own and he did.
The whole Monday he was breathing alone, at Tuesday the 28th the hospital asked for an appointment, when they wanted to get him off the machine, we made an appointment at the professor at 13:30h.
He explained and assured that my father is not feeling and will not feel any pain, that he will not suffer, he said after some hours after taking him from the machine, he will be able to pass away.
At 14:00h he got rid of the breathing machine, we were all at his bed, every hour the professor came to look after him, my father once more surprised all of us and also the stuff, they have never seen anything comparable.
He was so stable, sleeping like a baby, at 22:00h the professor said, we all should go home and sleep, it could take 12, 24 or 48 hours in the condition he was, nothing changed, so we decided to go home and to come back in the morning, otherwise the hospital would call us.
It was exactly 7:00h, I was just in the bathroom, my mum screamed from downstairs, hurry up, the hospital was just calling, it is really close to my parents house, about 4 or 5 km, I was driving like hell, despite of the snow, at 7:10h and under contempt of any traffic rules, I stopped right in front of the intensive care, we were knocking on the window, after 20 endless seconds, somebody opened a door.
We have been told to wait a bit, my mum got hysterical and I have known, we were too late,
My father died at the Wed 29th February 2003 at 7:05 h, he was 59 years old.
The funeral was incredible, masses of people and the whole schedule got lost, we expected a lot of people, because my father was well known everywhere, but not like this, people were also coming from France and the best, my love, Ana Luiza came over from Brazil to be at my side, the whole cemetery was filled with people and the funeral service did not know, where to put all the masses of flowers.
I don't know, why I wrote this, I also don't know if or why I will post this at a Bali-forum,
I really don't have time or any interest in forums anymore, I'm more than busy at the moment and also for the future. At the moment I have to satisfy my commitment to my company, where I'm still paid, which is usually more than a full-time job, at the same time I have to lead my father's company and also have to sight a lot of things due this and if it wouldn't be enough, at Saturday my mum broke her leg, she was operated and is in hospital, which means I also have to take care for her business, which is quite difficult at the moment.
Last night I took Aninha to the airport, she arrived this morning at 7:00h local time, got changed and went straight to the office, I miss her, will take some time again, before we are together again, but we are planning for a common future, will not let her go anymore then, my mum and everybody really loved her, its quite easy to love her.