Gifts for Balinese friends

[Steadysteve]

Hi, to you all in Bali.

May I pick your brains a little, I am trying to think of gifts to bring from England to give to a couple of kind Balinese people who befriended us last year and have kept in contact since.

I know that things are pretty tight on the island and I don’t want to give something that is excessive or inappropriate, so I would really appreciate any suggestions on what a Balinese would consider as something nice/useful from the UK that is unavailable or unusual in Bali.

I have racked my small brain and have come up with zip, mind I have the same trouble finding gifts for my wife; she was not impressed with the set of Snap on tools I got her for Xmas even though I wrapped then in nice paper with a bow!

Thanks for any suggestions

Steve

 

[charlie]

I usually wait until i'm in Bali and buy rice and sugar and coffee for my husbands family.. It's alot cheaper than anything you'll buy in the UK.

Or you could get them some t shirts from the uk. I also bring over little koala key rings and pen tops for the kids. - me being australian..

For kids you can get the above, or colouring pencils and books etc.

or you could bring over some t-shirts from the UK and combine it with some rice !!!

 

[charlie]

Oh, and welcome to the forum !!!!

 

[Roy]

Steve, as Charlie said, welcome to the forum. I also agree 100% with Charlie's suggestions for gifts for your "adopted" family.

As for the rice, it is always nice to spring a little more and give 5 kilos of red rice (a delicacy here) or even imported Thai rice which would be a nice change from normal Bali white rice. Enjoy your trip.

 

[mosaic]

t shirts might be appreciated. rice maybe 5 kilos. A cow or several pigs if they have some land. Maybe some cigs or a cel phone( joke).

 

[Steadysteve]

Thanks for the advice.

Red rice seems favorite and T shirts as exta gifts for the new friends we are sure to make while in Bali.

Cheers

Steve.

 

[Roy]

In case you don’t already know Steve, keep in mind that while the Balinese love gifts, they are normally very constrained in their expression of thanks. They will not smother you with all kinds of gratitude, but will say a simple thanks. Often the simplicity and mildness of Balinese manner of saying thanks is misunderstood by westerners who aren’t used to Balinese ways.

 

[tintin]

Hi Roy,

What you say about the "apparent" lack of gratitude on the part of the Balinese is correct, and if one is not aware of this, one stands to be very disappointed when one should not. It's just the Bali way.

You may remember that some time ago, we had a small "discussion" :wink: on that very subject. In the beginning of my stay in Bali, after I had befriended several Balinese of different walks of life, I dare to ask them about it. I was told by all of them, from a postcard street vendor to a Tjokorda from Sukawati, that this was the Balinese way, and that the "thank you" (matur suksema) was only said to God.

Now that our discussions are a wee bit more "civilized," I wonder if you could comment on this further?

 

[Roy]

Daniel, it is so true how life dishes out a cornucopia of challenges and calm streams at the same time. Indeed, I owe you a great many apologies for my lack of patience, and sometimes abject misunderstandings in the past. And yes...I fully realize that your post is not intended to “go there.” I only want to “go there” just to make clear that I regret my indiscretions and bad behavior, and to apologize once again.

As for the Balinese term, “matur suksma (suksema)” or the ultimate Balinese way of saying thank you....no, it is not limited to the Gods.

I recall in our initial discussion on this topic that while my Balinese wife, who is Sudra caste, we have heard “matur suksma” when in joint presence, and during a ceremony to acknowledge something we have participated in....as in the re-building of our Pura Dalem in Bunutan some four years ago. That this temple is now among the finest in Bali is unarguable, but my personal role in making this happen is personal.

Matur suksema is not a term that is “thrown about” as a replacement for “termia kashia” that is for certain. While there are signs, as one departs various Balinese villages, with the words, “matur suksma” it is indeed the highest form of thanks one can ever expect, and as I grow every day, more in tune with my Balinese life, I understand that even more.

Daniel, after almost eight years of full time living on Bali, and with great enthusiasm to learn, learn, learn, all I can say is that I am light years away from ever comprehending all the aspects of Bali, be they sekala or niskala. In another life, perhaps I will do better. But for now, I take it day by day and absorb every second, and every minute. That’s Bali, BUT, you already know that.

 

[tintin]

Hi Roy,

Your first comments are well received and certainly appreciated, given the fact that they were unnecessary: this is water under the bridge, as they say, and I honestly look forward to meet you in person during my next visit. In turn, I apologize for my lack of patience, and my, sometime, clearly antagonistic statements made during some of our past exchanges.

Thank you for commenting on my query regarding “matur suksema.” Because of your experience with the Balinese daily life, your opinion definitely carries weight with me. As everything else in Bali, the question of “thank you” is not simply a question of few words: nothing in Bali is a simple matter.

Regarding the "matur suksema" that one sees often upon leaving some villages, I always smile when I read another sign, which I purposely misread as:

"Terimakasih DAN (...) selamat jalan"

It feels good to be so popular in Bali :wink:

 

[Roy]

Thank you Daniel. I also look forward to meeting you...very much. As soon as your doctor gives you the "green light" AND it should be VERY green after surviving the World Cup, you and your wife should come back to Bali.

I have this urge to take you and your wife to meet my balian and guru in Mas. He is food for the soul. One can come to him bearing tons of weight on their shoulders, and leave as though floating on air. I will be with him for several hours tomorrow. I can't wait and I am excited to see him again.

I kid you not, nor exaggerate about this man. He is consul to many high priests in Bali as he is truth. I know this may all sound very strange, and certainly not what someone might think to read from an ex-New Yorker, but it is so, and what else can I say?

 

[tintin]

I would like very much to meet your guru in Mas. I believe I know him, or rather I think I know who he is, a very stern, thin, dark hair fellow. Isn’t he part Balinese, from his mother or father, and has studied religion under a priest in Mas for many years? If so, our paths have crossed several times in Mas and around Ubud, at some ceremonies, including the grand cremation in Gianyar, August 1992, held by Anak Agung Gede Agung. At that ceremony, and for the several months of its preparation which preceded it, I was “panitia,” which was my ‘fifteen-minutes of fame.” If your guru is the same person I am thinking about, he was assisting one of the high priests at the cremation. I even have a picture of him, as the high priest is blessing offerings at the foot of one of the bade.

Our eyes have crossed many times, and I know he must have also noticed me, would it be only because of my presence in several of these ceremonies he was also attending. Of course, I was curious about this gentleman, but for whatever reason (I think it’s because I did not want to imposed on him, just because I am a curious foreigner, so it would have given me the right to pry into his private life), I never talked with him.

Am I thinking about the right fellow?

 

[Roy]

Yes, it seems you are talking of the right fellow. And he won't mind at all that I speak publically about him. He is Tony van den Hout, son of Doctor Mauris van den Hout and his Balinese mother.

His business name is Naga Mas.

Odd, isn't it, that somehow it seems I am destined to bring you and him together?

Over my many years on Bali I have taken others to him as well.