This is essentially a follow-up to the string started by "Shar" titled Ex-pat Nuts & Bolts Questions. I post this as a new string only to encourage more discussion on this vital topic, and I hope this is OK with all concerned. Funny, in my view, that Shar's first post on this forum goes right to the heart of what this forum is all about. It's a "Bali thing" and selamat to you Shar.
First, for Lise. Lise, in my humble but totally honest opinion, I think your motivation to move to Bali, as based upon your desire for the best possible environment to raise a child, is 100% dead on the bull's eye. In fact, it is brilliant and I cannot imagine that either you, your husband, or daughter will ever regret your inspired decision. I applaud your courage and your instincts.
Likely it is that I have more insight on this than most other expats, as in my prior life, I raised three kids in the US, and now enjoy raising two, with a third to arrive in late June here in Bali. I am married to a Balinese and I live in her village, with all her family within easily walkable distance. Also, I am committed that all of my children born with my wife Nyoman are raised as Balinese first, but with an understanding and knowledge of "dad's" culture as well.
Frankly, I think I could write a book on this subject of raising children within the nurturing, safe, and uncompetitive environment that is Bali. For certain, you will not find kids here who need Ridellan (sp?), Prozak, or will show up at school with guns to vent suppressed anger. In Bali, specifically within the villages, kids rule. By this I mean that all the children of every village are regarded by all the citizens of the village as the primary reason for life itself.
Even first time tourists to Bali are exposed to this before leaving the airport. Invariably, the driver will ask, "are you married" which is immediately followed with, "do you have children?" I know of no greater source of pride or happiness with any Balinese than their children. Discussing them with total strangers, "Tamu" is not just an ice breaker to initiate conversation, rather, it is always on their mind, and the opportunity to share their joy and happiness with strangers is a real pleasure.
I have virtually no concerns about the safety of my boys. I will never teach them to "not talk to strangers." My older son Bima, who is under three years old, may disappear from my house for hours, but I have no concerns for his well being or whereabouts. In my village, child rearing is a community responsibility that is as natural as breathing. Everyone is an "uncle" an "aunt" or a "cousin." Watching my boys grow within an environment that is free of fear, paranoia, and the constant "keeping up the Jones's" competitiveness is the most satisfying aspect of my life.
Of course, there are drawbacks. For me, my two primary concerns are education and access to top level health care. These very same concerns are shared by virtually every expat I know on Bali who is also a parent. But, the sacrifices we make to insure that these concerns are addressed, far outweigh the advantages we all know are inherent with raising our kids, literally, "in Paradise."
I could go on ad infinitum on this subject...and I already have gone on more than is my fair share. But there is another advantage to raising kids in Bali that is often overlooked, or at least not much discussed. This has to do with the global nature that is indigenous within Bali. Expat kids are not raised here as Americans, Australians, Germans, Italians, French, etc., etc. Rather, they are raised as human beings, free of nationalistic pride, fervor, and the ignorance of the world around them that so often is part and parcel of western cultures. Racial and cultural prejudice is unknown, thankfully, among all children raised in Bali. If this by itself were the only advantage to raising children in Bali, it would be more than enough for me.
For Uma, it is clear that you are a very thoughtful and intelligent young lady. Your instincts, intellect, wisdom and good heart will assure your happiness and fulfillment living in Bali. But, do be prepared for a lot of "hindsight." It's what living in Bali is all about... learning how to live all over again.
First, for Lise. Lise, in my humble but totally honest opinion, I think your motivation to move to Bali, as based upon your desire for the best possible environment to raise a child, is 100% dead on the bull's eye. In fact, it is brilliant and I cannot imagine that either you, your husband, or daughter will ever regret your inspired decision. I applaud your courage and your instincts.
Likely it is that I have more insight on this than most other expats, as in my prior life, I raised three kids in the US, and now enjoy raising two, with a third to arrive in late June here in Bali. I am married to a Balinese and I live in her village, with all her family within easily walkable distance. Also, I am committed that all of my children born with my wife Nyoman are raised as Balinese first, but with an understanding and knowledge of "dad's" culture as well.
Frankly, I think I could write a book on this subject of raising children within the nurturing, safe, and uncompetitive environment that is Bali. For certain, you will not find kids here who need Ridellan (sp?), Prozak, or will show up at school with guns to vent suppressed anger. In Bali, specifically within the villages, kids rule. By this I mean that all the children of every village are regarded by all the citizens of the village as the primary reason for life itself.
Even first time tourists to Bali are exposed to this before leaving the airport. Invariably, the driver will ask, "are you married" which is immediately followed with, "do you have children?" I know of no greater source of pride or happiness with any Balinese than their children. Discussing them with total strangers, "Tamu" is not just an ice breaker to initiate conversation, rather, it is always on their mind, and the opportunity to share their joy and happiness with strangers is a real pleasure.
I have virtually no concerns about the safety of my boys. I will never teach them to "not talk to strangers." My older son Bima, who is under three years old, may disappear from my house for hours, but I have no concerns for his well being or whereabouts. In my village, child rearing is a community responsibility that is as natural as breathing. Everyone is an "uncle" an "aunt" or a "cousin." Watching my boys grow within an environment that is free of fear, paranoia, and the constant "keeping up the Jones's" competitiveness is the most satisfying aspect of my life.
Of course, there are drawbacks. For me, my two primary concerns are education and access to top level health care. These very same concerns are shared by virtually every expat I know on Bali who is also a parent. But, the sacrifices we make to insure that these concerns are addressed, far outweigh the advantages we all know are inherent with raising our kids, literally, "in Paradise."
I could go on ad infinitum on this subject...and I already have gone on more than is my fair share. But there is another advantage to raising kids in Bali that is often overlooked, or at least not much discussed. This has to do with the global nature that is indigenous within Bali. Expat kids are not raised here as Americans, Australians, Germans, Italians, French, etc., etc. Rather, they are raised as human beings, free of nationalistic pride, fervor, and the ignorance of the world around them that so often is part and parcel of western cultures. Racial and cultural prejudice is unknown, thankfully, among all children raised in Bali. If this by itself were the only advantage to raising children in Bali, it would be more than enough for me.
For Uma, it is clear that you are a very thoughtful and intelligent young lady. Your instincts, intellect, wisdom and good heart will assure your happiness and fulfillment living in Bali. But, do be prepared for a lot of "hindsight." It's what living in Bali is all about... learning how to live all over again.
