Feeling guilty that I haven’t offered a reasonably worthy post here in some time, I thought I should offer an insight into my daily life, in Bali…which will be most boring I assure you.
Before I paint the picture, I want to present the frame. The frame is seven plus years of age, the father of three great sons and gilded with a Balinese woman who is beyond comparison. The painting is likely very mundane, boring, and certainly not exciting.
It’s about awakening at 6:30AM every weekday, to get the two oldest boys ready for school. A mandi (bath) a good breakfast, and dressing in school uniforms as the two oldest boys jump into our Kijang, and head off to Denpasar for another day of school.
For me, it’s onto the computer, checking e-mails, and my eBay activity. Then, off line, it’s time to prepare more jpegs, more descriptions for more eBay sales. In the afternoon, after Eri has returned with Bima and Rama, it’s lunch, some rest, and then off to our gallery to tend to business there.
Sometimes, before 10AM and 1PM, before my wife returns with Bima and Rama, I get the urge to cook. I really enjoy cooking, and all my boys love my pasta dishes, home fried potatoes, omelets, and fried fish or chicken dishes. Cooking, for me anyway, is like therapy. It’s not at all what’s expected of me, so that’s why I really enjoy it. We have plenty of pembantus, but I really like throwing them out of my kitchen. They like it too of course, except at clean up. .
Expats that are single, or married without kids are less likely to be “in a routine.” The fact is, I can hardly remember the almost two years of being married to Eri before we had our first son, Bima. Having kids most certainly defines a routine. There is no avoiding it.
Parenting children on Bali brings up a whole new set of concerns/issues for the western expat spouse/co-parent, and this is most especially true when the spouse is Balinese.. As a western expat, now parent, we wouldn’t be here if we didn’t want to be, nor would we co-parent a child if we didn’t want to. But, raised in our western ways…what do we do now?
Personally, I find comfort in the “routine.” I was raised that way…a rigid routine…so that aspect of familiarity with “western ways” seems to soothe my concerns.
For me, there is nothing more humbling than the reality that you are responsible for the lives of three children. The “experts” say that one half of what they ultimately become is genetically determined, and the other half is from their upbringing. Well, if those “experts” are right, then our half as parents is vital.
Even before our first son, Bima was born, Eri and I agreed that we would raise our kids as Balinese. Two sons later, now raising three sons, I have no regrets at all with that decision. It seems that our “routine” is working.
Kids like routines, or at least, they seem to need them. A certain expectation of the day’s activities provides the child with a certain level of calm and comfort. Moreover, in this comfortable environment, they learn and prosper.
I really believe that Bali is one of the greatest places on earth to raise kids. The children are particularly sensitive to the “niskala” of Bali…the unseen and unheard. As much as their parents are driven by the “sekala” of Bali…the seen and heard, the children are influenced and grow through both influences. Even more, I know without doubt that the community aspect of child welfare is far more evident here than in the country I left behind. In every banjar in Bali, it is the children that are most precious.
Yes, it is most certainly an important issue for any parent…that is…how or where to raise your children. And, no matter what we do, or do not do, they will always love us. But for me, what I have learned is the hardest lesson. That is, to put aside my own preconceived, predetermined ideas and trust the culture that I am raising them in.
So, it is another boring day in the life of an expat tomorrow for me, and just another day of making a few rupiah, seeing my two oldest sons off to school, checking on our gallery…and maybe even cooking.
Could life possibly be better?
In any event, this is just an insight into one of my days, as an expat, and I have no doubts that there are many, many more insightful stories to be shared by other expats…their typical day living in Bali. So…let’s hear….
Before I paint the picture, I want to present the frame. The frame is seven plus years of age, the father of three great sons and gilded with a Balinese woman who is beyond comparison. The painting is likely very mundane, boring, and certainly not exciting.
It’s about awakening at 6:30AM every weekday, to get the two oldest boys ready for school. A mandi (bath) a good breakfast, and dressing in school uniforms as the two oldest boys jump into our Kijang, and head off to Denpasar for another day of school.
For me, it’s onto the computer, checking e-mails, and my eBay activity. Then, off line, it’s time to prepare more jpegs, more descriptions for more eBay sales. In the afternoon, after Eri has returned with Bima and Rama, it’s lunch, some rest, and then off to our gallery to tend to business there.
Sometimes, before 10AM and 1PM, before my wife returns with Bima and Rama, I get the urge to cook. I really enjoy cooking, and all my boys love my pasta dishes, home fried potatoes, omelets, and fried fish or chicken dishes. Cooking, for me anyway, is like therapy. It’s not at all what’s expected of me, so that’s why I really enjoy it. We have plenty of pembantus, but I really like throwing them out of my kitchen. They like it too of course, except at clean up. .
Expats that are single, or married without kids are less likely to be “in a routine.” The fact is, I can hardly remember the almost two years of being married to Eri before we had our first son, Bima. Having kids most certainly defines a routine. There is no avoiding it.
Parenting children on Bali brings up a whole new set of concerns/issues for the western expat spouse/co-parent, and this is most especially true when the spouse is Balinese.. As a western expat, now parent, we wouldn’t be here if we didn’t want to be, nor would we co-parent a child if we didn’t want to. But, raised in our western ways…what do we do now?
Personally, I find comfort in the “routine.” I was raised that way…a rigid routine…so that aspect of familiarity with “western ways” seems to soothe my concerns.
For me, there is nothing more humbling than the reality that you are responsible for the lives of three children. The “experts” say that one half of what they ultimately become is genetically determined, and the other half is from their upbringing. Well, if those “experts” are right, then our half as parents is vital.
Even before our first son, Bima was born, Eri and I agreed that we would raise our kids as Balinese. Two sons later, now raising three sons, I have no regrets at all with that decision. It seems that our “routine” is working.
Kids like routines, or at least, they seem to need them. A certain expectation of the day’s activities provides the child with a certain level of calm and comfort. Moreover, in this comfortable environment, they learn and prosper.
I really believe that Bali is one of the greatest places on earth to raise kids. The children are particularly sensitive to the “niskala” of Bali…the unseen and unheard. As much as their parents are driven by the “sekala” of Bali…the seen and heard, the children are influenced and grow through both influences. Even more, I know without doubt that the community aspect of child welfare is far more evident here than in the country I left behind. In every banjar in Bali, it is the children that are most precious.
Yes, it is most certainly an important issue for any parent…that is…how or where to raise your children. And, no matter what we do, or do not do, they will always love us. But for me, what I have learned is the hardest lesson. That is, to put aside my own preconceived, predetermined ideas and trust the culture that I am raising them in.
So, it is another boring day in the life of an expat tomorrow for me, and just another day of making a few rupiah, seeing my two oldest sons off to school, checking on our gallery…and maybe even cooking.
Could life possibly be better?
In any event, this is just an insight into one of my days, as an expat, and I have no doubts that there are many, many more insightful stories to be shared by other expats…their typical day living in Bali. So…let’s hear….
.
