Adam
Hi Becky80,
Im Australian and I married my muslim Indonesian wife some 6 years ago, she has lived in Australia ever since. Before we became officially married we performed what is known as Kawin Sirih which is an unofficial ceremony normally performed by younger couples who can not yet afford the complete shindig but is enough in the eyes of the 'moral' sticklers for a couple to go about their business like any normal married couple. In my instance, we performed it to keep the villagers and family happy that a westerner was fraternising with one of their own as at the time I was spending a lot of time in her village in East Java and would have raised a few eyebrows continuing to live under the same roof as an unmarried couple. The ceremony was cheap, quick and painless though it has no recognition as an official marriage. Have you considered this option?
There was a snowflakes chance in hell that I was converting just for the sake of a wedding as I would have found that even more hypocritical than religion itself. My wife's family had no problem with this as they are very, very moderate anyway and have fully accepted the 'strange' idiosyncrasies of the bule in their midst. Regardless, the requirements of my wife's Australian visa was that we be married in Australia. Our marriage is officially recognized in Indonesia even though we are mixed faith. I'm not sure how long you have been together as a couple but my advice would be to perhaps consider the Kawin Sirih as a 'try before you buy option' and then consider a wedding overseas that doesn't require religious conversion. You can still perform the full Javanese ceremonial 'wedding' at a later stage if your partners family desperately wants a party but at least then you can avoid the religious component and simply enjoy the cultural aspect of the ceremony (well, sorta, there is nothing enjoyable about Dangdut concerts which inevitably form part of the wedding celebrations in East Java). We have never done this part, but I am on on notice that it will happen, one day......
Regards,
Adam
davita
@ post #41
Then your 'dislikes' must have been before the new format and I never bothered to look....but now it comes up on 'notification' and the only way to rid is 'open'.
IMO Like/Dislike is childish...I believe in courtesy and make a comment on why I like/dislike another's post. If I have missed then it isn't a lack of politeness or manliness...just too busy to comment.
btw, as a matter of record, I've never just clicked 'dislike'.
