Bert Vierstra
Are we allowed to know who the new owner is ?[/quote]Things will be announced later this week, or a bit later due to travel schedules and such.
fordprefect
One word, Bert: Thunderstruck. I can only wish you the best, you certainly deserve a rest. Can't pretend to provide much consolation, but it's happened to me and it consoles me only just a little bit to remember Joyce's Ulysses, I think he has Stephen saying, "Paternity is a fiction"
Dasha
Not sure if this image will work Bert but I enjoyed drinking beer with you Sanurian Reni and Gayle on your back veranda. Very sad how things have turned out for you but I never quite forgot that post you put up about her 3 years ago.... maybe better to know now mate than later if that's any help.Fond memories BV take care and if you are still homeless there is a spare room at my joint .... not quite Bali , but hey... summer's coming and Blairgowrie is kinda like Singaraja when the heat is on. :( cheersDasha [url="http://www.flickr.com/photos/34982476@N03/4024662587/"]http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2804/4024662587_4ffff8f350.jpg[/img][/url]
Dasha
Didn't work here's the link. Cheeky bugger - just notice you giving me the rabbit ears![url="http://www.flickr.com/photos/34982476@N03/4024662587/"]http://www.flickr.com/photos/34982476@N03/4024662587/[/url]
JohnnyCool
Hey [b]Dasha[/b]Nice talking to you earlier today ([i]Skype-to-Skype[/i])And that's not a bad photo, too. Just wondering who took it ? Obviously none of "us".About dropping images into posts...You've used the wrong [i]Flickr[/i] link to the photo. The "a href" part is pointing to a [b]website[/b] (Flickr's). [b]Not[/b] where the actual image [b]is[/b] on their site.No worries...you'll get it one of these days. (Send me a PM for more detailed instructions.)[b]Anybody[/b] reading this to [b]this[/b] point in time? Shut everything down and spend the next hour or so looking at the sky. The [b]Orionids[/b] meteor shower is in progress. The "big" activity is supposed to be October 21.If nothing else, the exercise will do you good. 8)
tintin
Yes, Dasha, that's a great photo. One can surely feel the good vibs. :)
Dasha
Yes Dan had to put that one up. When Phil Skyped me yesterday and gave me the news I felt so sorry for the guy. Had a lot of good times online (arguments debates and discussion wise) in Indo with Bert. He was a wealth of information and pretty generous inviting over for beers and camera discussion at his place and to see him drop the whole bundle over this rat of an X Mrs is such a shame.Personally I would have booted her right out the front door and chucked her suitcases too. It is interesting to note that when we were at Berts for the first time in 2007 I went looking for my brother in Law's mother in law in Lovina. The wife's brother married an Indonesian woman in the early 90s and moved back here to Melbourne and set about raising a family. They have 2 kids a boy and a girl.Long story short the marriage failed and early in 2006 she rang the wife say here whole family had been massacred (hacked to death with blades) in Lovina and the village (just outa town ) had been burned to the ground. I remember seeing Gayle in tears at our office here. So I had one my guys down in Kuta head up there and check it out. He rang to say no such event had taken place and I began to get suspicious.I called Phil Sanurian to ask the same question and he confirmed the story too. So when we there to see Bert I headed up to this village, a place I had not been for 15 or so years and found her and the family alive and well. My wife and other members of the family were so relieved to know all was well as we had supporting these people for quite a while.When the X sister in law pulled this stunt she was trying to get more money from the bro in law. I could not believe how low someone could go to, as Bert puts it - Punya Uang.Her name ...... Dewi!! :shock:
JUDY
Dear Bert:I am so sad to hear the news. You are going through unbelievable pain in your heart right now which is totally understandable. Try to remember that the baby is innocent of any wrongdoing. Naturally, it is difficult with all your raw emotions at the present time; however, I believe since you last posted you are beginning to realize all the beauty you did find in Bali. As a Westerner you gave with your heart and your pocket book, and when we get upset or events are not going well we become resentful for all the good we did sometimes with our Balinese families. That is the human aspect of our ego's reflecting our resentment and disillusionment with life and ourselves. However, remember you helped alot of people in Bali and the good karma you created for yourself from your selfless acts of kindness will see you through this terrible drama in your life. I agree with so many who have offered you their condolences regarding your situation. Perhaps you should not leave so quickly just yet. How the old saying goes, "haste makes waste". Try to simply contemplate, relax, meditate, in some serene place in Bali at least for six months to a year before you leave for good. I believe your life will completely turn around and although at the present time it appears as if you are in hell, if you can erase out of your mind the tragedy which has occured and merely breath, let go, and be, with love you will immerge a better person with immense happiness in the future. Love is the key to victory to all the challenges presented to us. That may seem rediculous to some...to many perhaps....yet...love can conquer all.You will meet someone in the future who you will bring you great happiness. God works in mysterious ways..... Please reconsider your decision in leaving for at least a year. When a death or a divorce occurs the experts say make no changes for at least a year. In 99% of cases people who make a quick decision regret it.I will pray for you.Judy
Markit
Barf!
fordprefect
Barf![/quote]WTF?
gilbert de jong
going out on a limb here, but I think the 'barf' is to the story JUDY wrote....And to be honest I think it's a load of blablabla... how can one make no changes after a divorce or a death?in my opinion in a situstion like that one is forced to make decisions.meeting someone else to achieve happiness? One doesnt need someone else to achieve that.ofcourse the baby is innocent, but does one has to raise that baby like it was his own? I think not..Without a doubt she means well....but keep it real.
calitobali
I agree with Gilbert. When things like that happen a change of scenery is in order. Whether that change be a new city in Bali, a new Island in Indonesia, going back home, or whatever, doing nothing is possibly the worst thing you can do as it will literally drive you insane.I lost my mother at the age of 18, and after sticking around for a couple of months and eventually deciding to change my scenery, I could honestly say that I may not be sitting here typing this now if I hadn't. Nobody needs to be reminded directly of their tragedy while they're mourning, and while I respect everyone's way of dealing with a situation is different, some things have common ground.
noodles
I lost my mother at the age of 18, and after sticking around for a couple of months and eventually deciding to change my scenery, I could honestly say that I may not be sitting here typing this now if I hadn't. Nobody needs to be reminded directly of their tragedy while they're mourning, and while I respect everyone's way of dealing with a situation is different, some things have common ground.[/quote]That love, not time, heals all wounds......
bolli
Love is the key to victory to all the challenges presented to us. That may seem rediculous to some...to many perhaps....yet...love can conquer all."/quote]seems ridiculous to me.
JUDY
I'm not saying one should not make any changes in regards to the divorce etc. Obviously, I was not specific enough. What I meant was as far as leaving Bali for at least a year. Also, I do not think Bert should be responsible for the baby either; or for that matter continue to live with Dewi. Rather, wait for a year to make any major decisions regards moving from Bali. And I agree with you guys concerning the fact that another person is not necessary to fulfill ones happiness. Everyone must find happiness within; yet most people enjoy having another soul to enjoy the pleasures in life. All that has happened to Bert is awful, yes; yet perhaps down the road he will meet someone who will provide greater joy, companionship, laughter, than what he experienced with Dewi when life was at its best between the two of them.
Markit
This is really none of our businesses and I admire Bert's guts in putting it up here but since he has I do feel duty bound to weigh in on some of this "touchy, feely" shite that is being gushed here:I am the father of my daughter. How do I know? She looks like me, the poor thing - a lot!If I knew she wasn't related to me would I like/love her less? No, she's a major pain in the ass sometimes and just because we are related she' s still a pain. Would I love her as much if I knew we were not related? I have lived with her through thick and thin, sickness and health etc. etc. her whole life - that's what makes the bonds, not genetics! Would I have stayed if we weren't related - of course, I love her mother.Bert I would really consider it carefully before throwing it all away here (or anywhere for that matter). An old Eskimo saying: Loan your canoe out and it comes back broken, loan out your wife and she comes back just as good as before. If the truth were known, many of us have loaned out our wives and husbands - luckily, it usually isn't. Bert you [u]do[/u] know, but so what? If she comes back and is willing to still look after your saggy, old ass then count yourself very lucky that a woman 20 or so years younger than you will do that... When it started out did you really think it was going to be true love? Really? With that cultural and age difference? You don't look that naive... sorry, but it has to be said. Now thats it... as someone once said.
JUDY
Markit, I had to chuckle and admire you for writing your last comment about Bert's situation.You felt that my comments were too "touchy, feely"; however, after reading your post I felt that your advice to Bert was basically quite sincere, with strong hints of what you hate to admit....touchy, feely...stuff.You actually sounded pragmatic, logical, and very down to earth with your philosophical approach to the situation. Yet, I interpreted between the lines you have alot of love in your heart which allows you to handle lifes curve balls with a wise man eyes.
gilbert de jong
Me personally, I pitty the fool who thinks a relation between a 'Bule' and a 20 years (or more)younger girl, is based on love....on her side that is! I see lots of couples like that walking into Hardys or shopping at ABD's etcetc..., some of the girls I know, and also know that they have a Bali BF, or even already married. Any guy ( not specifically Bert) , who stays with a women who has cheated on him, not only once but many times, has in my book a lack of selfrespect and selfconfidence... And is asking for it to be treated like a 'walking ATM'!If just by changing the roles around, like it was the man who cheated with another woman and made her pregnant...for sure all women would call him a basterd, and give the advice to the married women to divorce him and take half...if you know what I am saying.
mimpimanis
'Bule' and a 20 years (or more)younger girl, is based on love....[/quote]I know quite a few Indonesian woman friends married to older western men with no BFs and certainly not married. And many of them are together years on down the line. One couple (back in UK) are approaching 20 years married.I am 7.5 years older than Made and many people (western) said when we married it was only for my money.... well I didn't have any and we just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary.Not all Indonesian / western marriages with age difference or not are doomed infidelity & failure as many of the members here can testify to.
Kadek
Me personally, I pitty the fool who thinks a relation between a 'Bule' and a 20 years (or more)younger girl, is based on love....on her side that is! [/quote]Why is it only from her side that love maybe missing from such relationships? Is it always necessarily love from the older men's point of view? Or more driven by lust and taking advantage of their relative financial superiority (perceived or real) over these local girls?
