Retiring but uncertain how to pass the days

SpeedDave

Thanks for the reply Mark. I see you are up past Candi Dasa ? lovely area actually. I know a family there. Maybe it is early days but I am really not interested in any "enthusiastic partner" in the foreseeable future. (once bitten and all that) I'll hit the search button and google etc , but I have really been unable to figure out what the core day-to-day would be.

SpeedDave

Fortunately my drinking days are long gone, and mindless pub "chatter" really is not my thing. Exploring this process really goes right down to the "meaning of life" quantum which I am not sure I am ready to contemplate !

harryopal

SpeedDave wrote "meaning of life" .....

"meaning of life" Even Jesus Christ struggled with that one. "My God why hast thou forsaken me?" Maybe immediately focussing on learning the language as a fairly time consuming start up. Other things may fall into place as you settle. Good luck.

Balifrog

YachtRock wrote What's your favorite bar for good live music?

ULU (depends on the band as they have 3 different), Casablanca is always good. There is also a cool reggae bar on Jl Cemara. If you like the oldies music, Nesa Combi on Tamblingan.

YachtRock

Balifrog wrote ULU (depends on the band as they have 3 different), Casablanca is always good. There is also a cool reggae bar on Jl Cemara. If you like the oldies music, Nesa Combi on Tamblingan.

Oh yeah I've been to ULU a few times. Some good music there for sure. Nice owner as well. Never tried Casablanca though. Thanks for the recommendations

SpeedDave

Hello all, long time lurker but first time poster. So I find myself recently single and about to retire. I've been to Bali about a dozen times over the last 30 odd years and love everything about it, so now my mind wanders to those golden times of warm ocean breezes and amazing food. ( also, the jungle, waterfalls, smells, sounds, smiles, spirituality, freedom, colours, intrigue, ..... everything really ) My previous travels have really only been staying at various resorts and wandering the local neighbourhoods with "the group" ( pretty unadventurous i know ) So now I am seriously contemplating staying long term, but I really worry that I will just have nothing to "do" in any meaningful long term way. I really am not one of those adventurous wander-lust free-spirit type of people, so figuring out "what to do" can be somewhat challenging. I know that I could go and do all the "touristy" type things ( mountain biking, water rafting, jungle treks etc ) but that is very short term and usually done in a group. I am talking more longer term, day to day type activities, and I am really stuck. I don't "write" or "Paint" or any other type of solo endeavour, so feel that I might end up just sitting in my room staring at the walls. So my question is, "What do other Bali retirees fill their days in paradise with after the "honeymoon" period ? " Thanks in advance to all those that reply, David

britoo

YachtRock wrote Oh yeah I've been to ULU a few times. Some good music there for sure. Nice owner as well. Never tried Casablanca though. Thanks for the recommendations

Wednesday, rock night at Ulu had a great vibe back during the pandemic, good band, good people and good beer. Didnt really go to eat. The same rock band (if they are still there) also play Tapah, on the beach on Fridays. More crowded than back then but a good night too. Bintang inflation is a bit bad though in Sanur especially if you get 15% on top though broadly inline with kuta, Legian, canggu ex clubs and even kedungu' Ahh good memories.

Balifrog

YachtRock wrote Oh yeah I've been to ULU a few times. Some good music there for sure. Nice owner as well. Never tried Casablanca though. Thanks for the recommendations

Yep, ULU's owner is a nice chap and a very professional manager. Always has an eye on things.

Markit

YachtRock wrote What's your favorite bar for good live music?

Interesting how you took over the whole thread.

Markit

Welcome - your question has been asked here in one form or another, countless times and if you use the "search" function you will see many suggestions. To start you out think if you are still interested in having a young, avid and enthusiastic partner? If yes then you have come to the right country and being single and retired you fulfill many an Indonesian's girlish (or boyish) dreams. They will want your money just like all the other partners you've ever had and give really good value IMHO. Next bring an international drivers license and get used to the roads and traveling here - get an Nmax! Best way to travel and see the sights. There's masses to see and do on Bali and when you've done all that there's only another 16,999 islands left to do. OR you can use Bali as a gateway to the rest of SE Asia. Do Not think you can spend much time on beaches or sitting around drinking Mai Tais it gets old quickly. The first 2 years here we were on the beach 2/3 times a week. Now I haven't been on my own steam in forever - too hot, wet, sandy and expensive. Be creative - what did you always want to do but didn't have the time for? Do it here, you have the time and it will be pennies to the pound cheaper here than at "home". But you'll probably be too shagged out from your new acquaintance to contemplate anything more strenuous than a massage.

mugwump

Although your question doesn't give me the impression that booze is part of your habits, unfortunately it is a real hazard here for many seeking new acquaintances. The social scene too often centers around the pubs. Since most of us are seeking new friendships this is the most common way for that to happen, and it means careful planning to focus on those areas most satisfying for each of us then seeking out where you are likely to locate others of similar ilk. When first landing in Bali years ago found the Ubud area especially appealing and along with it made new friends at a popular pub that soon became a pastime. The upshot of that came to the realization that things had to change and relocated far away to West Bali and pub less. Not meaning to create a sermon, but merely honest about a large pitfall common to many newbies. If a guy can first sit down and make a list of his interests and activities to pursue and delve into areas most likely to satisfy those interests he is bound to enjoy Bali more and longer.

Balifrog

SpeedDave wrote Exploring this process really goes right down to the "meaning of life" quantum which I am not sure I am ready to contemplate !

Meaning of life takes its full value when you're old. For the simple reason that you're closer to the exit than to the entrance, and better enjoy every remaining day. Never really been bored here, although my life style is very quiete now compared to the "hectic" days a few years ago. Grocery shopping, cooking, house holding keeps me busy a few hours per day. And to keep the brain "actif" I read a lot, mainly geopolitical and stock market stuff. But on Friday or Saturday evening I swing to "young bachelor" and go listen to the music in some bars. Plenty choice. I avoid all "Aussie sport bars" where the TV is blasting football or rugby at full power. Otherwhile once or twice a week I have dinner in my regular French place, opportunity to meet up with a few compatriots. Sunday is usually lunch and a few drinks at the beach (Pantai Duying).

Markit

Well as the list of thing "to do" is almost endless perhaps a small list of thing "not to do" might be more useful? 1) anything with locals where the term "Bali family" comes up. 2) anything where (after the first year) you are asked to take part in some ceremony 3) supporting some family in their ambitions to start/expand a business 4) drinking booze in the afternoon regularly. Occasionally, I have a billiards/pool group, is fine. 5) getting involved with any "charitable" group - 99.9% scam 6) teaching locals English language (scam alert) 7) going religiously to one bar/restaurant/shop - the expectation is you will always continue to do it and the prices go up imperceptibly but regularly. 8) form a "real" bond with one of the locals (I know what I said before) - super-glue, you will never get rid of them until you marry - then you're really fecked. 9) marry a local - the surest path to misery I have ever seen (yes, there are exception, I know, count on your fingers) 10) learn the language - after 14 years I've found it nearly impossible and I'm multilingual - it's an age thing and frankly very discouraging.

YachtRock

Markit wrote Interesting how you took over the whole thread.

Oh sorry, I didn't realize I wasn't allowed to contribute to an online conversation Dictator Xi.

Balifrog

YachtRock wrote Just making sure she comes from a good, loving family with minimal childhood trauma, is educated, and is passionate about something other than money/dick/tik tok, confirming her intentions are pure... you know just making sure that she has the basic qualities of a good human. It's not rocket science.

Nice to see there are still some romantic dreamers around .....

Balifrog

Markit wrote Well as the list of thing "to do" is almost endless perhaps a small list of thing "not to do" might be more useful? 1) anything with locals where the term "Bali family" comes up. 2) anything where (after the first year) you are asked to take part in some ceremony 3) supporting some family in their ambitions to start/expand a business 4) drinking booze in the afternoon regularly. Occasionally, I have a billiards/pool group, is fine. 5) getting involved with any "charitable" group - 99.9% scam 6) teaching locals English language (scam alert) 7) going religiously to one bar/restaurant/shop - the expectation is you will always continue to do it and the prices go up imperceptibly but regularly. 8) form a "real" bond with one of the locals (I know what I said before) - super-glue, you will never get rid of them until you marry - then you're really fecked. 9) marry a local - the surest path to misery I have ever seen (yes, there are exception, I know, count on your fingers) 10) learn the language - after 14 years I've found it nearly impossible and I'm multilingual - it's an age thing and frankly very discouraging.

100% agree with all the points. Concerning the language, I never even gave it a try. Laziness + the fact that I would now understand all the B.S. and drama .... I speak French, English and passable Dutch. And if I had to spend money and time to learn one more it would be Russian, Korean or Japanese. The 2 last ones mainly to chat up the girls .....

YachtRock

Markit wrote Well as the list of thing "to do" is almost endless perhaps a small list of thing "not to do" might be more useful? 1) anything with locals where the term "Bali family" comes up. 2) anything where (after the first year) you are asked to take part in some ceremony 3) supporting some family in their ambitions to start/expand a business 4) drinking booze in the afternoon regularly. Occasionally, I have a billiards/pool group, is fine. 5) getting involved with any "charitable" group - 99.9% scam 6) teaching locals English language (scam alert) 7) going religiously to one bar/restaurant/shop - the expectation is you will always continue to do it and the prices go up imperceptibly but regularly. 8) form a "real" bond with one of the locals (I know what I said before) - super-glue, you will never get rid of them until you marry - then you're really fecked. 9) marry a local - the surest path to misery I have ever seen (yes, there are exception, I know, count on your fingers) 10) learn the language - after 14 years I've found it nearly impossible and I'm multilingual - it's an age thing and frankly very discouraging.

Curious why you say number 9 Markit? Sure, I know my fair share of disaster mixed-marriages in Indonesia but also know plenty of happy couples who have been married for decades. Perhaps you just hang out with a crowd who got married for the wrong reasons and didn't do proper due diligence on their girl beforehand.

YachtRock

Balifrog wrote Meaning of life takes its full value when you're old. For the simple reason that you're closer to the exit than to the entrance, and better enjoy every remaining day. Never really been bored here, although my life style is very quiete now compared to the "hectic" days a few years ago. Grocery shopping, cooking, house holding keeps me busy a few hours per day. And to keep the brain "actif" I read a lot, mainly geopolitical and stock market stuff. But on Friday or Saturday evening I swing to "young bachelor" and go listen to the music in some bars. Plenty choice. I avoid all "Aussie sport bars" where the TV is blasting football or rugby at full power. Otherwhile once or twice a week I have dinner in my regular French place, opportunity to meet up with a few compatriots. Sunday is usually lunch and a few drinks at the beach (Pantai Duying).

What's your favorite bar for good live music?

Markit

YachtRock wrote Curious why you say number 9 Markit? Sure, I know my fair share of disaster mixed-marriages in Indonesia but also know plenty of happy couples who have been married for decades. Perhaps you just hang out with a crowd who got married for the wrong reasons and didn't do proper due diligence on their girl beforehand.

(yes, there are exception, I know, count on your fingers) As there are to every "rule" - Western women marrying locals is an unmitigated disaster - I actually know of only 2 cases where it seems to have worked out and in both cases the girls have huge cojones and run the show completely. Western men marrying local girls - not much better but most of the men have experience with one or two marriages already behind them so damage is limited. I'd love to see your "due diligence". What do you do ask around her village? Chat with her old boyfriends/pimp/husbands/children?

YachtRock

Balifrog wrote Nice to see there are still some romantic dreamers around .....

Is it a dream if I'm living it daily? Sorry things didn't work out for you mate but don't mean every relationship is doomed to fail.