That Hooker's My WIFE!!!

[Markit]

I would be very interested to hear the various strategies those of you lucky enough to have an Indonesian partner employ to keep the rest of humanity from assuming your Indonesian wife or lover is actually a hooker.

Please don't presume that this is anything against hookers - as I've had some very meaningful moments in my life at their hands (mouths, feet, fingers, ears, bottoms, knees, elbows, eye sockets - she could do a mean wink-off :uncomfortableness.

 

[borborigmus]

I find that getting her to wear a jilbab when in public with you and walking 2 paces behind generally does the trick. Oh, and remember to get her to ride side-saddle when on pillion too ... ;-)

 

[calitobali]

Has never happened to me. Indonesians can usually spot a hooker quite easily and my girlfriend looks nothing like one, nor dresses like one.

 

[mat]

I don't employ any strategy, I married a virgin and I've got used to idiots out there and don't care what people say. Today my wife went for a medical which included a blood test to be approved for an insurance policy. Less than an hour later with a plaster on her arm she was asked by another tourist if her blood test was positive or negetive. She replied [obviously] "I don't know". and the tourist started giving her a lecture on how important is is to know if she was pos or neg before she went out again. Bloody funny or what!

 

[gilbert de jong]

why should I care what the 'rest of humanity' (as you say) thinks about my wife/partner?

 

[Markit]

Interesting ideas and viewpoints - have to say fit's completely to the personalities that I know.

Borborigimus - I've found that intelligent, worldly Balinese that have been exposed to westerners for years will tell you the most utter bullshit when it comes to other Indonesians- mostly Javanese, for expample:

Be Carefull Because:
1) All Javanese are hookers
2) The want your money (pretty similare to most people, anywhere)
3) They will give you drugs and when you wake up you are married (when you explain that to marry you first have become muslim, this holds no water)
4) They have secret black magic that will make you love them forever (or possibly a very small cooze?)

And as you can see from Mat's experience it is by no means only Indonesians that think like this. Western women are the best - anything over about 40 trailing or leading her better half gets this look of panic when she sees the enemy - small, lithe, brown, thin and beautiful..... and worst of all, younger! One almost feels pity. Almost.

Mat - I think your lovely wife should have bit them!

Gil - because we all do. It's basic human nature to want everyone else to agree with our good taste.

Thanks so far guys.

All you ladies with Indo husbands/boyfriends are equally exposed to the "toyboy" side of things so lets hear from that side of it too?

 

[Fred2]

Living in Java I find its more the western people that think she must be a hooker.
My wife is younger then me but she looks even younger then she really is(black Magic).
No we didn't meet at a bar or on the internet.
So I'm just happy to be the dirty old man.
I do get piss off when she dress like a maid, riding a motor bike & she sits side saddle while holding up the umbrella(my biker days are over).

 

[ronb]

I have seen this happen to neighbours. While the husband may say why should I care - it can be quite hurtful to the wife. One guy moved house to another area of Bali - so that is one possible solution.

 

[tintin]

I find that getting her to wear a jilbab when in public with you and walking 2 paces behind generally does the trick. Oh, and remember to get her to ride side-saddle when on pillion too ... ;-)

This is no longer the requirement! With all the road side bombings happening in many parts of the world, in particular the Middle East, the woman now walks 10 paces IN FRONT of her man.:icon_rolleyes:

 

[Nakal]

I think there is a big difference if your wife is still living in Bali or not.

When my wife was still living in Bali she typically dressed like a local and acted as one. Now the next question would be how you would recognize that right? To be honest I have no idea besides clothing or something like that. For some reason if she would go to the market she's not getting local prices anymore but they "just know" she's no longer living in Bali and got more to spend. Sometimes I get better prices after bargaining than her!

Same thing counts for the name calling when we walked on Kuta beach for example... when she was still living in Bali they just knew she was local and walking with a bule... so she would classify as a hooker in their opinion. Few years later (after she moved to Holland) walking on the same beach, or any other spot, no such thing.

Obviously I really don't care what other people think, it's just fucked up to see my wife get hurt when she was called things again.
In the beginning I couldn't understand what was said (and she woudln't tell me at the time it was said, to avoid me getting into a fight :d) but after a while you just ignore it.

Just my 2 cents...

 

[Markit]

Thanks Nakal and Ron (did the move to another part of Bali help?) for your take on, lets be honest, a big problem. And mostly for the Indonesian partner who you love and would not wish to see hurt or upset by these assholes, both foreign and local.

The only sensible suggestion so far for confronting the problem seems to be to put the partner into a chador or jilbab to make sure she isn't insulted.

Who would have thought any westerners would ever suggest that?

Not in a 1 million years! But if it works, why not?

I would love to hear a Balinese opinion on this.

 

[Rangi]

My woman dosnt dress like a hooker but she dresses "sexy". Im sure some people think she is a hooker, it dose not worry me. I just walk with my head held high and with a big smile on my face because she is very very beautiful

 

[mat]

Markit,
you are right about the 'Tourist' women of 40 something + When out with my wife I tend to get knowing smiles from the middle aged man in a couple and angry glares from the women. Not really surprising as they do have something to worry about.

 

[Markit]

Proud is great but Rangi don't you think that being that beautiful woman and being called a hooker is pretty painful? I trully hope she/you have'nt had that happen.

All these intelligent people here must be able to come up with way to stop it.

Nakal wrote: Same thing counts for the name calling when we walked on Kuta beach for example... when she was still living in Bali they just knew she was local and walking with a bule... so she would classify as a hooker in their opinion. Few years later (after she moved to Holland) walking on the same beach, or any other spot, no such thing.

Nakal I wonder if the change in reaction had to do with your wife wearing clothes made in Holland, hair cut there and shoes too?

 

[mat]

Another thing, my wife is always getting advice from other Indonesian women on the best way to get all my money off me as quickly as possible and then leave me. Makes me think what they assume she is and why she married me. Very sad for my wife.

 

[Rangi]

Proud is great but Rangi don't you think that being that beautiful woman and being called a hooker is pretty painful? I trully hope she/you have'nt had that happen.

All these intelligent people here must be able to come up with way to stop it.

No ones ever really said anything to offend. Just the looks you get sometimes is funny. I dont even feel much people that see us out would even think that. Except sometimes when she is on the back of my bike.Its just natural for people to judge people and assume things about people. I do it to unfortunately.

I am naturally a positive person, and so is she, they way we look at it is as long as we are happy we wont be brought down.

 

[CanonMan]

My wife is Japanese and 14yrs my junior. I found it hilarious one particular New Years eve here in Bali a couple of years ago when someone asked if we, my wife and I, met online! Like buyabride.com or something. Wild that as soon as Asian women are involved who are younger than their spouses it triggers the idea that the union originated electronically!

 

[mugwump]

A couple of people have posted negative implications about people meeting online. Maybe I am naive, but in this big world today a lot of people are meeting online, and what is so bad about that? The choice aspect is still there. No one is getting mesmerized or seduced because they chose getting acquainted by online contact. Profiles are available that provide some basic information so people can make some initial decisions as to whether they are interested and make contact based on their individual preferences or interests. How would one equate that with the bar scenario?

 

[rasi]

I'm as white as they come and my husband is super black. Twice I've been asked if I'm his mum... Sigh... He's 3 years older than me.

 

[rasi]

Usually people ask if he's my nanny, gardener etc... Makes me laugh so hard! Some builders next to us asked how much he was getting paid to build our house! Haha