Joe Writeson

Member
Jul 30, 2013
591
3
16
Indonesia
FM radio in one area of South East Asia arrived quietly, expanded too quickly, ran wildly out of control, then fragmented with several stations all owned by the same government sponsored corporation before eventually settling down and finding their own niche.

Somewhere along the way stations were desperate for DJs and were taking on presenters with absolutely no previous experience, allowing them to format their own shows and often broadcasting without anyone monitoring content or presentation.

One of the hardest things to carry off on radio is live phone ins or ‘comedy’ pranks, far too many morons were of the opinion that something they heard via Youtube or the internet that was mildly funny on a radio station somewhere else in the world would translate locally if repeated, and often repeated again and again, and again and again … it didn’t translate and was not funny in the least. There was also the fact that a lot of the stuff on Youtube was broadcast by professional DJs who were not only very experienced radio presenters who could adlib easily, but often they were also working from scripts with set responses to certain scenarios.

Jump to a few years ago and three clowns were let loose on the airwaves convinced they were Howard Stern, who they had heard of but never actually heard! Chinese New Year was looming and someone thought it would be really really funny to announce on their radio show that a government agency had decreed that no less than a certain monetary amount could be put into “Lucky Money” Ang Pao red gift envelopes that year. The amount was ridiculous and the chosen prankster was all set to ring people at random on live radio, tell them about it, and provoke them into some sort of reaction.

Big fail before even starting.

Firstly, anyone from the government hearing such an announcement even in jest, could construe it as ‘political misinformation’ and the perpetrators could end up in serious trouble.
Secondly the show’s presenters displayed total arrogance by assuming that people they rang randomly would actually take it all in fun.
Thirdly they had not thought anything through at all and went in totally unprepared…

They rang a random number and an Indian gentleman answered…
“Hello”
“Good morning who is this?”
“Why?”
“Well we would just like to know who we are speaking to”
“You rang me so how do you not know who you are calling”
“I am passing on an official government announcement”
“By telephone, what kind of government does that”
“A government that wants to pass on announcements direct”
“I am sorry, this is all new to me, I am only just recently arriving and not aware of governmental procedures in this country”
“Well you are now” (cue giggles and sniggers in the background)
“I am sorry what is that noise”
“Interference on the line” (DJ/caller almost cracks up at his own rapier wit)
“Please be passing this information on as quickly as possible then as I have a very busy day ahead”
“What do you think about the announcement that Ang Pao red gift envelopes must contain a minimum cash amount of ****”
“What?”
“Ang Pao red gift envelopes must contain…”
“I heard you, I just do not understand, please explain what is being Angpow”
“I don’t believe this, you do not know what Ang Pao is”
“That is what I said, so why did you not just answer the question”
“Honestly you don’t know what Ang Pao is”
“That is what I just said, are you deaf”
(DJ getting slightly annoyed) “No I am not deaf and I’m not stupid either, everyone knows what Ang Pao is”
“Well I Sir do not, I have only recently arrived in this country and I am not yet fully aware of your customs and traditions, so kindly explain”
(DJ getting snotty now) “Listen you should not bother coming to our country if you have not bothered to learn something about it first”
“Sir I am trying to understand what it is you are trying to say but I am not comprehending at all”
“Well you must be an idiot then” (masses of guffaws sniggers and giggling in background)
“What”
“You heard me … you must be an idiot”
“I do not understand, you say you are giving out official information, I do not understand you …then you insult me”
“Maybe you should just go back to where you came from then” (laughter and hoots of derision in background)
“I … I do not understand I arrived here at the Embassy Residence this morning and all I have done is responded on my official consular telephone …”
“Excuse me … your what?”
‘My telephone, the one in my office… I do not understand why you want to antagonize and insult an embassy official”
“…an Embassy …err can we just cut to some music here… (thinks mic is off … get some freakin music on … realizes mic is still live) … Sir I need to tell you that we had no idea…”
“This is most stressful I am not exactly at the peak of my health this week what with this new posting and … gasp”
“Sir we honestly did not mean any harm and if we can just get some music playing…”
“…excuse me my chest is hurting”
“… what?
“…. Cough cough” (heavy labored breathing)
“Are you still there…SIR are you still there”
“I am sorry I am not feeling well” (more heavy breathing and moans)
“SIR are you ok”
“No no…not at all I am having a severe pain across my chest … I cannot breath” (… clattering sound of dropped telephone)
“Sir … SIR are you there … look I am sorry this was just a joke, we are a radio station this is just a joke”
....telephone is retrieved... “I can… cannot breathe” (wheezing)
“Look Sir let us try and get some help, what is the address where you are … we will get an ambulance to you immediately” (sounds of panic in background and raised voices berating each other)
“……..please tell my wife and children I loved them …. Good byyyyye…”
“Sir hang on please we are getting help to you … Sir Sir …hang on answer please” (off mic …will somebody fer chrissake DO something… this guy is dying)
“…….uhhhhhhh”
(almost crying) …“Sir … Sir …say something please”
…….
“….. now who’s a fucking idiot”

CLICK ……….
 
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Joe Writeson

Member
Jul 30, 2013
591
3
16
Indonesia
More ?

That's funny.

Thank you Deborah, there is a lot more in a similar vein in both of my travel/humour/reality/irresponsible behaviour books.

From Jarrow to Java (on a beer scooter) Edition 1 illustrated https://www.createspace.com/4667032
From Jarrow to Jebel Ali (on a beer bus) Edition 1 illustrated https://www.createspace.com/4659249 (3/5 days)

Available from all Amazon/Createspace outlets all formats and delivered worldwide.
... or direct from the author joewritesonasia@gmail.com

Jarrow to Java green.jpg Jarrow to Jebel Ali gold.jpg

I would buy them ...but I've already read them....