Peasant

New Member
Feb 17, 2014
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Hello all.

I am blessed enough to have meet the girl of my dreams and we plan on getting Married. I am Western, She is Indonesian.

I am hoping that you can help me in sharing the information on what I exactly need in the way of documents, and the process that I need to take in order to make this special day happen.


Thank you.
 

davita

Well-Known Member
Mar 13, 2012
4,441
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Hi Peasant and welcome to the forum.
There will be plenty contributors to your request but, meanwhile, you may wish to read some of the older posts on this subject..... if you scroll bottom of this page (similar threads)you will find those.
The one criteria to marry in Indonesia is that both partners have to, at least on paper, be of the same religion.
 

balibule

Active Member
Feb 6, 2009
1,059
1
38
If you're planning on living in Indonesia and buy property then have a look at arranging a prenup before getting married. Without prenup your Indonesian wife will no longer be able to legally buy property.
 

Natasha

Member
Dec 1, 2010
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Kerobokan
You'll need an official document from your country stating that you are not married (and if you have been married previously than you'll need all your divorce papers).
 

Peasant

New Member
Feb 17, 2014
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Thank you everyone for your help.

Technically I am a Christian and she is Muslim. I am prepared to go "on paper" as a Muslim.

Can anyone recommend an easy way of doing this?
 

no.idea

Member
Feb 22, 2011
862
2
16
Sanur
Peasant, just do a simple conversion ceremony and become a Muslim. My wife calls me the "five minute" Muslim.
A lot of my friends have done simple wedding ceremonies in the village of their lady. These are not legally binding but it keeps the family happy.
 

davita

Well-Known Member
Mar 13, 2012
4,441
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I know many who do the quick conversion to simplify the process but am amazed at how many actually convert and become more pious under the converted religion than that previous.
I have a large in-law family who, on my wife's side are Christian, but a few have converted from Islam and v.v. All the converts took their new religion with vigour; one cousin, who converted to Muslim, even refused to greet his Christian side of his family with a 'Happy Xmas'.
 

the spock

New Member
Jun 11, 2013
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Hi,

I'm in the same situation to the difference that I don't want to convert to Islam for personal reasons however her family seems to be very traditional and she could potentially be excluded if she gets married to a non Muslim man.

Did anyone here manage to keep the family happy on the other side without converting?

It is said above that the traditional wedding ceremony in her village wouldn't be legally binding, does that mean I won't have to sign any paperwork?

I wish my kids to be of the same confession/education as me and I'm afraid even a conversion on paper would change things for them but I'm not sure.

I'm looking for professional advice in terms of mixed marriage and overseas marriage process so if you happen to know the best of the best I would be very greatful to hear about him/her.

Cheers.
J
 

Smoke

Active Member
Dec 3, 2011
1,395
1
36
Sanur
Hi,

I'm in the same situation to the difference that I don't want to convert to Islam for personal reasons however her family seems to be very traditional and she could potentially be excluded if she gets married to a non Muslim man. and family shunned by the village

Did anyone here manage to keep the family happy on the other side without converting? many do but depends on family

It is said above that the traditional wedding ceremony in her village wouldn't be legally binding, does that mean I won't have to sign any paperwork? even for that u need a no impedence from ur embassy/consulate, a surat Ali imran( conversion to islam) and a few other items.

I wish my kids to be of the same confession/education as me and I'm afraid even a conversion on paper would change things for them but I'm not sure. once married and on a Spousal kitas your children together will be listed as islam on the family card )

I'm looking for professional advice in terms of mixed marriage and overseas marriage process so if you happen to know the best of the best I would be very greatful to hear about him/her. Have had a few friends do this kinda up to spouse and family

Cheers.
J


many of us are what no ideas wife calls the "5 minute Muslim" but my conversion took about 8 minutes since the 2 witnesses could not understand my Indonesian reciting the "allah" lines I needed to say .

My wifes family knows it did the conversion for them and their village status.

got to go Bintang juice is calling for me
 

davita

Well-Known Member
Mar 13, 2012
4,441
146
63
many of us are what no ideas wife calls the "5 minute Muslim" but my conversion took about 8 minutes since the 2 witnesses could not understand my Indonesian reciting the "allah" lines I needed to say .

My wifes family knows it did the conversion for them and their village status.

got to go Bintang juice is calling for me

Smoke....it's lucky your recitation wasn't in Arabic or English...might have taken longer...:icon_e_biggrin:

BTW naughty, naughty ...I hope you're aware that the devil Bintang juice is haram...but I remember Muslims tell me that in exceptional cases, to prevent starvation or dehydration, haram can be considered halal.

So, to reward your generosity in conserving Sanur's water supply you should enjoy your Bintang without feeling remorse ...:icon_rolleyes:
 

Smoke

Active Member
Dec 3, 2011
1,395
1
36
Sanur
[MENTION=11670]davita[/MENTION] may have been Arabic could not under stand the Imam.he talked very softly and with an accent lol

in Bali even my mother in law brings me a Bintang juice after dinner .

Once we went to Renon Night Market with her and the smell from the Babi Gulings made her nausea. First time out of her village area of Lombok Timor

Always have a few crates on hand
 

ronb

Well-Known Member
Aug 14, 2007
2,241
56
48
Ubud, Bali
Hi,

I'm in the same situation to the difference that I don't want to convert to Islam for personal reasons however her family seems to be very traditional and she could potentially be excluded if she gets married to a non Muslim man.
...............................................
Hi The Spock, from your post, I get the feeling your omens are bad. It seems you want to marry a Muslim then have children and bring them up in some (unspecified) other religion.. I reckon you should get on your bike and ride in the other direction as fast as you can.
 

the spock

New Member
Jun 11, 2013
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1
Hi The Spock, from your post, I get the feeling your omens are bad. It seems you want to marry a Muslim then have children and bring them up in some (unspecified) other religion.. I reckon you should get on your bike and ride in the other direction as fast as you can.

Hey ronb,
She's not religious and I'm not much too only thing is the parents as they are pretty full on religion.
 
G

Gurkha

Guest
Get married ANYWHERE except in Indonesia. The cost of a trip to Las Vegas will be worth it in the long run!
 

ferdie

Member
Apr 4, 2013
677
2
16
Near Ubud
Hey ronb,
She's not religious and I'm not much too only thing is the parents as they are pretty full on religion.

Spock, if both of you are not that religious, just get married in Singapore, its easier to do for mixed beliefs couple but legally binding to both parties
Its easier to get it out in the open since the start because I've seen bad results when you postpone dealing with the problem before the wedding

The traditional Islam wedding in a village might not be legal, but if the parents are very conservative, be prepare for them to actually intervene your life, your marriage life and even your kids life if they think you have "lost your righteous path"

Make sure that you prepare yourself for the worse case scenario, some conservatives treat religion extremely serious.

FYI: The Paramadina Foundation and Wahid Institute maybe can point you to the right direction if you want to do a mixed marriage in Indonesia, but its a very long process.
 
Last edited:

the spock

New Member
Jun 11, 2013
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1
Spock, if both of you are not that religious, just get married in Singapore, its easier to do for mixed beliefs couple but legally binding to both parties
Its easier to get it out in the open since the start because I've seen bad results when you postpone dealing with the problem before the wedding

The traditional Islam wedding in a village might not be legal, but if the parents are very conservative, be prepare for them to actually intervene your life, your marriage life and even your kids life if they think you have "lost your righteous path"

Make sure that you prepare yourself for the worse case scenario, some conservatives treat religion extremely serious.

FYI: The Paramadina Foundation and Wahid Institute maybe can point you to the right direction if you want to do a mixed marriage in Indonesia, but its a very long process.
Hi Ferdie,
Thanks for your post.
We were planning to get married in Australia and register the marriage to the Indonesian embassy in Perth then register it in the civil office in Bali.
We are still unsure if that is really impossible to get the overseas marriage registered in Indonesia with different religion.
Her parents are living on another Indonesia island and we may reside in Australia in a few years so hopefully that will keep them away from us if they are getting too nosey in the way we will educate our kids.
I am ready to pretend and give a go to going into a mosque and wear traditional outfit while I'm visiting them if that keeps them happy.
I will contact the foundation and the institute you refer to and see how it goes.
 

Smoke

Active Member
Dec 3, 2011
1,395
1
36
Sanur
[MENTION=14414]the spock[/MENTION]

Getting Married Abroad

A foreign marriage certificate will be recognized by the Indonesian government (for the purposes of Indonesian paperwork) if you take your foreign marriage certificate to the Indonesian consular office and have an Indonesian translation of the foreign marriage certificate "consularized" by the Indonesian consular office for the area which you live. The consularization process means that the verify the validity of the document and stamp the back of the document and sign it and use an official stampl. The Consular office can usually help you to translate your marriage certificate, for a fee. If you're not sure which consulate you should do the paperwork through, contact the Consular office of the Indonesian Embassy in your capital city, tell them which city/state/province you live in and they will tell you which consular office to go to for your paperwork.

In a few cases (usually due to differing religions) the foreign spouse may be asked to convert or the couple must remarry, but in most cases a consularized translation of the marriage certificate is adequate. Especially in cases where the couple already have children and have been married for some time, there are fewer questions about the legality of their marriage.

Indonesian government marriage law of 1974 stipulated that you must register your marriage with the Civil Registry (Kantor Catatan Sipil) within one year after you return to Indonesia (Marriage Law). However in December of 2006, a new bill passed called Undang undang 23 tahun 2006 tentang Administrasi Kependudukan, in which new regulations are now in affect. The prevailing law is now the Law of Administration of the Population (2006) and not the Marriage law (1974):

Indonesian citizens who have married abroad (outside Indonesia) are obligated to register with an appropriate Indonesian government consular office (consulate or embassy) in the country where the marriage took place, in order to report this marriage officially to the Indonesian government.

A report must also be made to the appropriate government authority in your hometown in Indonesia in order to assure that your marriage is legal under Indonesian law. If you are Muslim, you report your overseas marriage to the Kantor Urusan Agama (KUA) in Indonesia, if you are from another religion, you report to the Catatan Sipil in the hometown of the Indonesian spouse. Without reporting in this way, you are not considered married by the Indonesian government! This should be done, at the latest, 30 days after the Indonesian citizen returns to Indonesia. The fine for a late registration is of a maximum of IDR 1.000.000 and is further regulated by regional regulations.

The civil registry officer will check the date of your marriage and the date of your arrival to Indonesia after you have performed the marriage abroad. If the day you arrive to record your marriage exceeds the limit, then the Civil Registry Office in Jakarta may also require a court decree in order for the marriage to be recorded (Jakarta Municipal Regulation). When you register you will obtain a Tanda Bukti Laporan Perkawinan, which makes your marriage legal in Indonesia.

The Kantor Catatan Sipil may ask you for ... are you ready ... a letter from the foreign spouse's parents saying they give permission for the marriage, even after the fact! Seems strange ... but this request has come up repeatedly. So, if you want to avoid hassles, get a letter from you folks or other senior family member before you start through the bureaucracy at Kantor Catatan Sipil.

They may also ask for a certified letter from the foreign spouse's embassy verifying that the marriage certificate is legal ... which shouldn't be any problem if it is notarized, and especially if you have had the translation consularized by the Indonesian consular officials abroad. If you have children, you can bring them with you to these meetings ... more proof that you're married! Don't despair, often the officials are happy with just seeing a copy of your foreign marriage certificate, consularized by the Indonesian consulate and that is adequate to register you. But as with everything else - there is an exception to every rule!

It is customary in Indonesia to throw a big reception to which everyone one of the Indonesian partner's family members, friends and acquaintances is invited. Some couples who have married abroad may opt to have a reception in Indonesia which, in theory, demonstrates the Indonesian spouse's family's support of the marriage. Or, another way to go is to have a "tunangan" (engagement ceremony) in Indonesia in traditional fashion before the wedding,

One visitor to the site wrote about his experience returning to Indonesia after marrying abroad:

We experienced family pressure to make our marriage "syah" after returning from the US in 1997 and registering with the Catatan Sipil. My wife found a sort of kyai in her father's village who performed a ceremony that looked a lot like the standard Muslim ceremony I've seen at KUA two days ago (witness/wali, prayer, etc.) but without the buku nikah. In fact, the kyai and I and anyone in attendance who cared about accuracy knew that I was "declaring respect for Islam" but not converting. This may be enough for some families.

Prevailing law - Undang-Undang nomor 23 tahun 2006 stipulates:

Pasal 37
(1) Perkawinan Warga Negara Indonesia di luar wilayah Negara Kesatuan Republik Indonesia wajib dicatatkan pada instansi yang berwenang di negara setempat dan dilaporkan pada Perwakilan Republik Indonesia.
(2) Apabila negara setempat sebagaimana dimaksud pada ayat (1) tidak menyelenggarakan pencatatan perkawinan bagi Orang Asing, pencatatan dilakukan pada Perwakilan Republik Indonesia setempat.
(3) Perwakilan Republik Indonesia sebagaimana dimaksud pada ayat (2) mencatat peristiwa perkawinan dalam Register Akta Perkawinan dan menerbitkan Kutipan Akta Perkawinan.
(4) Pencatatan perkawinan sebagaimana dimaksud pada ayat (1) dan ayat (2) dilaporkan oleh yang bersangkutan kepada Instansi Pelaksana di tempat tinggalnya paling lambat 30 (tiga puluh) hari sejak yang bersangkutan kernbali ke Indonesia.

Pasal 90
(1) Setiap Penduduk dikenai sanksi administratif berupa denda apabila melampaui batas waktu
pelaporan Peristiwa Penting dalam hal:
a. kelahiran sebagaimana dimaksud dalam Pasal 27 ayat (1) atau Pasal 29 ayat (4) atau Pasal 30
ayat (6) atau Pasal 32 ayat (1) atau Pasal 33 ayat (1):
b. perkawinan sebagaimana dimaksud dalam Pasal 34 ayat (1) atau Pasal 37 ayat (4):
c. pembatalan perkawinan sebagaimana dimaksud dalam Pasal 39 ayat (1);
d. perceraian sebagaimana dimaksud dalam Pasal 40 ayat (1) atau Pasal 41 ayat (4);
e. pernbatalan perceraian sebagaimana dimaksud dalam Pasal 43 ayat (1);
f. kematian sebagaimana dimaksud dalam Pasal 44 ayat (1) atau Pasal 45 ayat (1);
g. pengangkatan anak sebagaimana dimaksud dalam Pasal 47 ayat (2) atau Pasal 48 ayat (4):
h. pengakuan anak sebagaimana dimaksud dalam Pasal 49 ayat (1):
i. pengesahan anak sebagaimana dimaksud dalam Pasal 50 ayat (1);
j. perubahan nama sebagaimana dimaksud dalam Pasal 52 ayat (2);
k. perubahan status kewarganegaraan di Indonesia sebagaimana dimaksud dalam Pasal 53 ayat (1); atau
l. Peristiwa Penting lainnya sebagaimana dimaksud dalam Pasal 56 ayat(2).
(2) Denda administratif sebagaimana dimaksud pada ayat (1) paling banyak Rp.1.000.000,00 (satu juta rupiah).

Registration at Catatan Sipil

The official fee is Rp 50,000 for "Pelayanan Pencatatan Perkawinan". You can do this registration at:

1. Kantor Dinas Kependudukan dan Catatan Sipil Propinsi
2. Kantor Suku Dinas Kependudukan dan Catatan Sipil

Cost Rp. 50.000 (Pencatatan/Registration),
Rp. 25.000 (Pemakaian Ruang WNI)
Rp. 50.000 (Pemakaian Ruang WNA)

Catatan Sipil West Jakarta / Civil Registry Office of Population and Capil
Jl. S . Parman No. 7 West Jakarta Tel. (021) 564-2808. Fax (021) 564-2808.

Catatan Sipil South Jakarta / Civil Registry Office of Population and Capil
Jalan V No Radio. 1 South Jakarta. Tel. 7280-1284-85

See the Civil Registry's website (http://dki.kependudukancapil.go.id/)for more information.
Inter-faith marriages

Indonesian government regulations make it difficult for people of different faiths to marry. If you want to be married in Indonesia, the official government regulation is that either the bride or groom must convert to the other's religion. This can be done in the Kantor Urusan Agama in the Religious Affairs Ministry. While for some this is a true conversion, for others this is simply a paperwork formality to enable the couple to marry and ease documentation procedures. As with everything else - you may find yourself the exception, with no one asking anything about your faith when you go to get married or register your marriage. In many cases the man is asked (by the girl's family or religious leaders in her community) to get circumcised. In some cases they'll ask for visual proof, in others, they'll take your word for it ... !

In Islam, it is forbidden for a Muslim woman to marry a man who is not Muslim - thus the pressure will build from the Indonesian fiance and her family for the expatriate non-Muslim man to convert. Conversely, a Muslim man may marry someone who is one of the "People of the Book" who share the historic religious roots of Islam - Christian and Jewish women. The understanding though is that the children of these couples must be raised Muslim. In fact, these mixed religious couples will raise their children as they see fit. We've seen examples of strict Muslim upbringing, strict Christian upbringing, no religious participation/attendance, and even indifference to religious upbringing.

Some inter-faith Indonesian couples purposefully get married while they are overseas and return with the marriage a fait accompli ... legal documents and all ... and that is one way out of one of the Indonesian partners having to convert in order to marry.

Mind you we are simply discussing legalities here. Once you move to Indonesia, one may find that the pressures from the Indonesian spouse's family and friends may influence the foreign spouse's previous decision to convert or not to convert to the Indonesian spouse's religion. Indonesian society tends to have more of the "image of religiosity" than western societies. Even if your Indonesian fiance isn't particularly religious, be prepared for his/her family to be so. Generally speaking Indonesians find it very difficult to go against their family's wishes.

There is a support group for foreign women married to Indonesian men who are considering converting to Islam, called Sisters.

For more information, see two articles on Inter-Religious Marriage in Indonesia and Conversion to Islam: for expatriate men marrying Indonesian Muslim women.


Getting Married in Indonesia - Information for Indonesian/Expat Couples
 

the spock

New Member
Jun 11, 2013
29
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1
Here we go, she said yes and now we have to organise the wedding next year.
We plan to get married in Australia then do a celebration in Bali with our families and friends.
She heads out to her kampung very soon to tell her parents she is going to have a different religion marriage and expects to be ostracised by her parents which is truly sad and also affects me.
Anyway if someone knows a solution to keep them happy avoiding the conversion which is out of question I would be glad to hear about it.
I thought I saw something when I was digging up in the forum about a "friend of islam" conversion but I can't get a hold of it.
Cheers.