songgon_lea

Member
Jun 26, 2013
74
0
6
Songgon E Java
I have a serious question.

How do you cure “selective hearing” in a male?

Over the years I’ve noticed it seems to be something that progressively gets worse in contented males. Now to the point it drives me mad sometimes and pushed me to putting out a cry for help.

Getting a response has progressed from “darling” to “Oi” to “hey deaf basta**d” even that now seems to get little reaction.

I’ve tried various methods to cure this irritation measuring from pouring hot water to burning candles in his ears but everything has little affect.

I don’t believe there is actually anything medically wrong and have proven this by whispering (from a distance) the words sex, drink or dinning and all seem to prompt an immediate reply.

Are you males just being difficult trying to prove you are still Alpha in the household. Awkward shits or could it be the beginning of menopause???

If this is a genuine male disorder then I am open to possible recommended cures providing it doesn’t involve anything you plug into the mains power. Or has teeth.

ANY constructive reply would be appreciated
 

Teabag

Member
May 23, 2013
35
0
6
Sounds familiar to mee, ok, not that worse, but the older I get the more I hear only what I want to hear. Has also a bit to do with the age of the male and the duration of the relationship.

How old is ur 'problem' and how long ist the relation lasting ?

btw: as more you try to cure.... the worse it gets....

cheers
 

Smoke

Active Member
Dec 3, 2011
1,395
1
36
Sanur
What did you nag about now? opps what was that love?

best to ask with best bedside manor ( it works )

sorry male selective hearing is a normal occurrance. No one effective cure really
 

Markit

Well-Known Member
Sep 3, 2007
9,317
1,109
113
Karangasem, Bali
Thing is girls talk without wanting to know something or say anything.

They talk when they're happy, sad, mad, glad, etc.

Now for girls that's all important information and helps in the original job of group dynamics that is the female state best suited for caring for kiddies, finding berries, roots and such-like.

Now guys once we have our basic drives (eatit or fuckit) sorted out we kind of go on auto-pilot and tune that background shit out like dogs barking, kids yelling and, well, women talking.

Your statement about sex, dinner, drinks proves my point.

Best way to get your male partner's attentions is as follows: "Dear how would you like a blow-job after you mow the lawn" or "20 minutes reverse cowgirl sound good after you've cleaned the car?".

You will be surprised and delighted at the number of times your car is cleaned and the beauty of your front lawn will be the talk of the neighbourhood.

Markit Promise!!!
 

balibule

Active Member
Feb 6, 2009
1,059
1
38
Best way to get your male partner's attentions is as follows: "Dear how would you like a blow-job after you mow the lawn" or "20 minutes reverse cowgirl sound good after you've cleaned the car?".

You will be surprised and delighted at the number of times your car is cleaned and the beauty of your front lawn will be the talk of the neighbourhood.

Markit Promise!!!


Aw Markit don't tell these kind of secrets to the girls.
 

no.idea

Member
Feb 22, 2011
862
2
16
Sanur
I am in the tourist industry. As such I deal with a lot of western woman. They main reason the husbands do not listen is simple. The women never shut up!
They try to tell me about the dog down the road that bites the neighbours kids, they tell me about their ex-husband, they tell me about the woman at work who is having an affair with their boss. Shut up!
Their husband's sit there with a happy smile and every so often give me a wink.
Basically I do not give a flying frig about what they are saying. Shut up!
Lea, you are Indonesian so I assume you have similar traits to my wife. She starts a conversation with her head in the cupboard, then walks into the next room and finally finishes the conversation from out beside the pool. During this type of "conversation" I have not moved.
Her other great trick is talk to her brother in Bugis, address me in English with no break in the conversation, go back talking in Bugis then put her head in the cupboard and address me in Indonesian. This is topped off with a quick burst of Kaili to her cousin and another comment to me in English while she is sitting behind the fridge scooping rice into her mouth.
Of course we do not bloody listen!
We have been married 15 years. The twice that she has offered me sex, I have heard her quite clearly.
 

balibule

Active Member
Feb 6, 2009
1,059
1
38
Lea, you are Indonesian so I assume you have similar traits to my wife. She starts a conversation with her head in the cupboard, then walks into the next room and finally finishes the conversation from out beside the pool. During this type of "conversation" I have not moved.

sounds very familiar to me
 

songgon_lea

Member
Jun 26, 2013
74
0
6
Songgon E Java
Hhmmm, I was kind of hoping for more female input on this, however I’m glad to see you males openly admit to suffering the same.

My half is still relatively young so I don’t agree that its necessarily associated with the age. I believe it starts from the time the male brain drops 3” in his underpants and chooses not to hear the early warnings of going blind (and apparently deaf) if you continue to do “that

I’m also deeply concerned that I planned to employ a car wash / grass cutter….OMG how the hell do I word the salary in the advert.

You are correct about walking round the house at the same time talking, but I will give him some credit in his defense that his hearing is partially buggered up due to his past work. But why is it those few choice words always seem to get through and register regardless of distance or location we mention them?

Although I speak an assortment of languages so does he so that excuse won’t wash.

Just starting to find this topic amusing, now. Your all trying to justify yourselves with lame excuses. (see paragraph 2 “getting caught”)

I need another female to join in as I feel a little outnumbered here !!!
 

Teabag

Member
May 23, 2013
35
0
6
My half is still relatively young so I don’t agree that its necessarily associated with the age. I believe it starts from the time the male brain drops 3” in his underpants and chooses not to hear the early warnings of going blind (and apparently deaf) if you continue to do “that

Songgon Lea,

The above statement is compeletely WRONG !!!

The brain doe's not drop in the young age, cause the brain is already there since men were born. They key is, the older a male gets, the higher the brain walks !!!!

Cheers
 

songgon_lea

Member
Jun 26, 2013
74
0
6
Songgon E Java
Bloody typical male splitting hairs......

See now if you were remotely on the same wavelength as a female you would know that males only have 2 brain cells, and its fact they begin to die from when you were born.

For some strange reason I'm trying to picture a walking brain and the only thing that popped into my mind was Sponge Bob.....don't ask why.
 

davita

Well-Known Member
Mar 13, 2012
4,441
146
63
Lea's OP and no-ideas #6 response I vote as the funniest posts since I joined the forum....made my day and it can only get better...you go girl!!!

"What's that darling...lunch...OK...no need to shout...I'll just finish watching Sponge Bob!" :beaten:
 

Markit

Well-Known Member
Sep 3, 2007
9,317
1,109
113
Karangasem, Bali
I'm really tempted to put these two threads together and declare it a tie.

<< this link was removed after receiving many complaints >>

My point being that if more women were to exhibit a pronounced Camel Toe then perhaps, just maybe men would be that little bit more attentive?

Of course, I exclude all you deep-thinkers and philosopher since you are doubtlessly unaffected by such displays of femininity.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

songgon_lea

Member
Jun 26, 2013
74
0
6
Songgon E Java
Markit, paybacks a bitch....didnt those crown jewels belong to you once upon a time? I thought only zombies ate brains!

camel2.jpg
 

Attachments

  • bob.jpg
    bob.jpg
    10.8 KB · Views: 46
Last edited:

no.idea

Member
Feb 22, 2011
862
2
16
Sanur
Hhmmm, I was kind of hoping for more female input on this,
I believe it starts from the time the male brain drops 3” in his underpants

Okay here is my feminine side input.....I actually wrote a newspaper lonely hearts column for a few years under the name of Aunty Mary. So here we go with some substantial and helpful Aunty Mary advice.
Darling if he only has a dropped 3", there are "small" problems. There are a number of men available who have "longer drops". It is possible to tell your man that you must slip down to Bali to buy some clothes. ( we already know that he only listens to beer and sex comments).
Do this once a month or maybe every 6 weeks. NEVER on a regular basis! All will be okay. Bring him back some Kilkenny, Grolsch or Erdinger beer and he will love you.
I hope this is of some help Aunty Mary.
 
Last edited:

Markit

Well-Known Member
Sep 3, 2007
9,317
1,109
113
Karangasem, Bali
Markit, paybacks a bitch....didnt those crown jewels belong to you once upon a time? I thought only zombies ate brains!

View attachment 1874

I wasn't sure what this ment so I put it in google translate.

"Boring fart"

Okay here is my feminine side input.....I actually wrote a newspaper lonely hearts column for a few years under the name of Aunty Mary. So here we go with some substantial and helpful Aunty Mary advice.
Darling if he only has a dropped 3", there are "small" problems. There are a number of men available who have "longer drops" It is possible to tell your man that you must slip down to Bali to buy some clothes. ( we already know that he only listens to beer and sex comments).
Do this once a month or maybe every 6 weeks. NEVER on a regular basis! All will be okay. Bring him back some Kilkenny, Grolsch or Erdinger beer and he will love you.
I hope this is of some help Aunty Mary.

If I understood half of this then that half is getting pretty fecking weird, the other half is waaaay out there - call Hannibal Lecter we're all feeling a little peckish. Yum!
 

songgon_lea

Member
Jun 26, 2013
74
0
6
Songgon E Java
The whole world is weird, the weather is weird, lady gaga is weird, even the deaf male society is weird.

Try to make everything as light hearted as possible, providing you have your good health and your hearing works when it’s obliged to then it’s the only way animal, mineral or vegetables will keep their sanity.

I asked my other half this afternoon….would you swap or trade me for a camel?

His reply…..No dear, I’m from Romney Marsh I would only swap you for a good looking sheep!!
 

songgon_lea

Member
Jun 26, 2013
74
0
6
Songgon E Java
Darling if he only has a dropped 3", there are "small" problems. There are a number of men available who have "longer drops". It is possible to tell your man that you must slip down to Bali to buy some clothes. ( we already know that he only listens to beer and sex comments).
Do this once a month or maybe every 6 weeks. NEVER on a regular basis! All will be okay. Bring him back some Kilkenny, Grolsch or Erdinger beer and he will love you.
I hope this is of some help Aunty Mary.

Dear Aunt Mary,

I was only generalizing on the 3"....it was in no way pointed at anyone in specific.
Never mind Kill Kenny he will kill me when he reads this.
How about I come to Bali on a whitness protection scheme and WE go clothes shopping together......I hear there is a guy doing a nice line of handbags and shoes in real camel skin.

I really do hope you can help now you've dropped me in the s**t.

P.S. He drinks whiskey.
 

no.idea

Member
Feb 22, 2011
862
2
16
Sanur
Okay okay, I do not like shopping. However when you come to Bali on your whiteness protection scheme my wife will happily go shopping with you. She is the world's champion shopper. We have rooms full of absolutely useless crap. At one stage I thought was planning to become a centipede. There are enough damn shoes around the place to shod a centipede.
However I also have Whiskey, Wild Turkey American Honey, Johnny Walker Red and also Johnny Walker Black, Chivas Regal, Jack Daniels and even Jim Beam Bourbon Whiskey. Bring your husband along, certainly he must enjoy one of those drops. Personally I reckon they all taste like rat poison.
I even have cheese and salami. But keep this a secret from the knuckle dragger who resides in the remote caves of east Bali.