Old -age and senility

Markit

Davita you must be careful now days with what you post as all of the above homilies/similes/dumbilies have already appeared ad nauseam and almost daily on Farcebook. It's getting tougher and tougher to be original. (I dibs this quote!)

geedee

The post you are referring to was cruel and viper like ,was not funny and had the intent to cause hurt. Sometimes the best response is no response as the poster wanted a response. You being absent minded I wonder if you remember the money you promised me. Also don't forget you promised your wife to me.

davita

Markit wroteDavita you must be careful now days with what you post as all of the above homilies/similes/dumbilies have already appeared ad nauseam and almost daily on Farcebook. It's getting tougher and tougher to be original. (I dibs this quote!)

I didn't intend anyone to believe it was original...very few posts here are original but most members just continue to read or move on. Only some find it compelling to have something negative to say. This isn't facebook/twitter or whatever other incoherent babble is out there.....which I never read. I leave that to the other-half. My intent was to convey a message....but apparently...whooosh!

geedee

davita wroteI think you forgot your heritage...Scotsmen always know about money...it's ingrained. If anyone owes me I will come back and haunt and turn their beer warm.:ghost: With regard to wives...I put all the propositions from you and others to her and her response..."I already have a hole in my ass...why would I need another Asshole?" Now where to hell did I put my sandwich.....:indecisiveness: edit: Oh! crap....I already eat it.

Well that proves your not senile just an old fart

Rangi

For someone who constantly reminds me I am unoriginal for using internet memes that someone else created, I found this thread rather funny indeed. https://www.ruralheritage.com/messageboard/frontporch/16964.htm I wish I could be as "original" as you.

davita

Rangi...I'm heeding geedee's advise and ignoring you future posts. So don't waste your time.

Rangi

davita

Many members have besmirched my posts by adding I'm an old fart and probably senile...most are funny, and intended so, therefore I laugh it off and enjoy the joke with others. However, by the very tone, (usually when the poster lacks communicative skills in the English language) malice is intended...and that I take as a personal insult and will respond...take heed! As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don't really give a rat's ass anymore. ... If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. ... A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat. ... A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while... ... A tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years. And Doctors tell me to exercise....I don't think so! Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to remember the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered: 1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. 2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran. 3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart. 4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 6. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it? 7. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser. 8. Some days, you're the top dog; some days you're the lamp post. 9. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them. 10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents. 11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids. 12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. 13. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom. 14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees. 15. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess. 16. Its not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere. 17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. 18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter...I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after". 19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 20. HAVE I POSTED THIS MESSAGE BEFORE..........??????

davita

geedee wroteThe post you are referring to was cruel and viper like ,was not funny and had the intent to cause hurt. Sometimes the best response is no response as the poster wanted a response. You being absent minded I wonder if you remember the money you promised me. Also don't forget you promised your wife to me.

I think you forgot your heritage...Scotsmen always know about money...it's ingrained. If anyone owes me I will come back and haunt and turn their beer warm.:ghost: With regard to wives...I put all the propositions from you and others to her and her response..."I already have a hole in my ass...why would I need another Asshole?" Now where to hell did I put my sandwich.....:indecisiveness: edit: Oh! crap....I already eat it.

davita

geedee wroteWell that proves your not senile just an [COLOR="#FF0000"]old fart[/COLOR]

I'm not so sure my fart is that old. It's a holiday here and the maid has a day-off so my wife is struggling with our vacuum cleaner. I can never understand how she can manipulate an iphone like a brain surgeon and change the TV channel without me noticing but cannot unwind the cord from a vacuum without my help. I told her I'm sick and she said "No you're not...the doctor said so! so unwind the hose" Amazing how quickly the female empathy can change...:lemo: next time I'll bribe the doctor for sick leave...maybe a year! Anyway...I digress from my first sentence about an old fart...there was this pungent odor and she said "What's that?" I replied the vacuum usually makes a smell when the bag is full. She is currently emptying the contents thru' the little hole into the garbage...I omitted to tell her the bags are not re-usable and we have lots of spares...:grumpy: Meanwhile, I put all our fans on HI and now I've removed my nose clip it seems the air is better than Beijing or Sumatra a couple of months ago....so all is well thanks.

geedee

davita wroteRangi...I'm heeding geedee's advise and ignoring you future posts. So don't waste your time.

After all these years and somebody is finally listening to me ( yeh yeh i know its only you but its a start) I am surprised because you normally can't help yourself and bite immediately

davita

geedee wroteI am surprised because you normally can't help yourself and bite immediately

That's because I was not brought up to be a rude person. I give the benefit of the doubt that I'm responding to a reasonably intelligent and mature person....but you are correct...maybe I should be more circumspect.

balibule

This one is pretty good as well; [COLOR=#0000ff]Love this Japanese Doctor! [/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff]Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?[/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff]A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff]Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? [/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff]A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. Bottom up![/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff]Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?[/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff]A: Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good![/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff]Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? [/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff]A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?[/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff]Q: Is chocolate bad for me? [/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff]A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around![/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff]Q: Is swimming good for your figure? [/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff]A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff]Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle? [/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff]A: Hey! 'Round' is shape![/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff]Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff]And remember:[/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff]Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"[/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff]AND......[/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff]For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff]1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff]2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff]3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff]4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff]5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff]CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.[/COLOR]

bakung

davita wrote[COLOR="#FF0000"]That's because I was not brought up to be a rude person[/COLOR]. I give the benefit of the doubt that I'm responding to a reasonably intelligent and mature person....but you are correct...maybe I should be more circumspect.

hey young man you claim to be born in jockland and making statements like that, remember we have got a image to preserve ?. :icon_eek: