davita
sasha28 wrote I guess she'll find out the hard way. Unless they are actually madly in love then good on them lol
Even if the above..if your M-I-L is contemplating marriage I suggest you to send her my blog from this forum called...'Prenuptials'.
spicyayam
I think all of your fears are more than likely true. My wife is a good listener and we live in Lovina if she ever needs a friend to talk to.
ronb
Yes $70 per week for a simple house in Lovina is over the top - maybe double what it should be. Then paying $150 for a Balinese guy to be taught to ride a motorbike by a "friend" is a bit rich. The indication are there that this guy feels she is good for money and he will be attentive while that lasts. The big prize will be when she buy land in his name and builds.
She needs a "Plan B", should she need to return to Australia and resume a retired life there. This could be for health reasons or it could be because the relationship sours, or there could be other reasons. So I think she needs to leave some assets in Australia - she should not bank everything on this guy.
Markit
Let her get on with it!
She's 73 so probably doesn't have many more love affairs in her so let her enjoy this one to the max.
For god's sake what has she got to lose? Money? If she sells the Oz mansion she and he can live on that until doomsday even at the rip off rate you printed.
Or are you perhaps afraid she'll spend [B][I]your[/I][/B] inheritance on this guy?
Dude, it's still her dosh to spend, give or throw away as she sees fit. Just stand back and let her have as much fun as she can stand. Then pick up the pieces - that's what family do.
sasha28
Okay so here's the short side of a long story. My mother in law is 73 and has met a 'lovely' Balinese man who is 50 years old, he has no family or anything like that and was living in a mouldy place on a mattress on the floor in Lovina somewhere. She met him on her last trip over and is recently separated. So now he has convinced her he is madly in love with her. He has found them a villa to live in for $70 a week (it has nothing at all, no pool or anything) and she lets him pay that rent etc. Of course moving in with her meant that he couldnt get to work so she had to buy him a new scooter, poor bloke though has never ever ridden one so this brand new scooter he was trying to drive. Luckily for him a friend could teach him to drive it for about $150 australian which MIL happily shelled out.
Is she getting ripped blind or what?! She has now moved over permanetly to Bali trying to get 6 month visas and then is going to buy a villa for them once she sells her house here, she has up and left everyone and everything for this bloke. Has known him for about a month! She says he's not like that at all as he's always trying to teach her how to not get ripped off by Balinese. I dont even know what to do. We were supposed ot meet him last time we went over but of course he couldnt possibly stay around Kuta for a day or two as he had to take off back to Lovina straight away???????
So first of all is $70 a week for a long term villa in Lovina about right? Or is pocketing the money.....and secondly what the hell do we do? She wont listen at all. I guess she'll find out the hard way. Unless they are actually madly in love then good on them lol
SHoggard
Wait.... something just struck me as odd...
"We were supposed ot meet him last time we went over but of course he couldnt possibly stay around Kuta for a day or two as he had to take off back to Lovina straight away?"
You came to Bali and expected HIM to come visit you in Kuta??? WTF you weren't concerned enough about MTL to actually make the trip to Lovina and meet him on hs own ground?
I'm with Markit on this one
ronb
Well Sasha28 has given no more feedback. But from her original post I think she was saying "Is this guy a gold-digger?". My take from the evidence is "yes". OK, Markit says 73-year-olds should be given lee-way. Well I'm 73 and agree to a point. But I know a couple of cases (that happen to be Lovina related) where the woman is basically ruined by a Balinese guy and has to flee back to an unwelcoming NZ or Aust. So there can be bad ends to this story. Can sasha28 do anything about it? I don't know. "Love" can be really blind.
sasha28
Also somebody sent me a Private Message thank you so much. HIs name is Putu Sutarmono and he works at the dolphin boats? You may even know him? They just moved to Singaraja or something like that?
He might be a great guy? If you do please tell me lol Her name is Patricia and I will pass on your email and information to her as she speaks NO English and probably does get a bit lonely as she's used to having a lot of family around her :) (7 kids no wonder she left, I might join her lol)
So having a trustworthy friend would be great I think :) Thanks I will pass on your email address.
SHoggard
sasha28 wrote...... she speaks NO English and probably does get a bit lonely .......
A bit more worrying - I'm assuming that she doesn't speak either Balinese or Bahasa Indonesia - but I'm sure she's having fun
davita
sasha28 wroteas she speaks NO English
OK! I'll ask...how do they communicate?
bakung
davita wroteOK! I'll ask...how do they communicate?
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sasha28
Hey guys sorry had 2 sick babies I was looking after haven't checked this :) Thanks so much for all your input. I am actually glad that she's doing what is making her happy and she is happy. In regards to inheritance there probably wont be much haha she has like 7 kids so we are not at all worried about that! I just don't want her to get hurt at her age, she is selling her house and wants to buy him a villa and I just thought that perhaps she is being taken for a ride. We cant tell her that though. As for him not meeting us he was already in Denpasar picking her up from the airport when we flew in, they had a hotel room in Seminyak for the night so she didn't have to travel all the way after just getting back from the plane, so we thought we were going ot meet him properly then, but at the airport he whisked her away because he had to get back to work? Even though he works in Lovina (not so much now, as there is no work all of a sudden) lol Anyway I just feel happy for her that she is happy but also **** scared because at her age she really DOESNT need the drama and the hurt. She just left her husband of 30 years and I can understand she's having fun so kudos to her, however if she does lose everything she's going to have some miserable years ahead. HOWEVER there probably is nothing at all we can do. I just wanted peoples opinion on this and to see if it's just us being paranoid lol
sasha28
Sorry I meant she speaks no Balinese haha she speaks fine English. But Putu speaks mainly Balinese and doesnt seem to have any family or friends that speak English very well.
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well he has limited English because he works on the tourist dolphin boats :) So they make do :)
davita
sasha28 wroteSorry I meant she speaks no Balinese haha she speaks fine English. But Putu speaks mainly Balinese and doesnt seem to have any family or friends that speak English very well.
well he has limited English because he works on the tourist dolphin boats :) So they make do :)
Phew! that's a relief...the imagery of an alternative was making my breakfast unpalatable....:disgust:
no.idea
Everything is normal. She is getting ripped off as per normal. She is paying for everything as per normal. He is inflating prices as per normal.
Advise her to invest the money if she sells the Oz house and rent a house here in her own name.
She can get 5% clear if invested with with one of the major banks. Put that on top of her pension and she can afford for them both to live very well.
Advise her not to buy the house in his name.
If she follows the above advice she will live very well and shag herself silly for the next few years.
ronb
Excellent advice from no.idea- keep the asset in Australia, live off the income it generates. Then when the local guy realizes he is not getting the big prize, it will be interesting to see if his love continues.
DenpasarHouse
I don't think you can win in a situation like this. It's a bit like trying to talk someone into leaving a cult, or a pyramid scheme. They didn't have the scruples to avoid getting sucked in and they can't withstand the hit to the ego to admit they've been a fool. Even if you can convince them before the inevitable crash, they'll end up hating you for it.
The likelihood that this guy isn't a con artist is remote. Telling her he's protecting her from being ripped off by other Balinese is a big give away.
The very sensible investment ideas you've seen above won't ever come to fruition because he'll just threaten to leave her if he doesn't get his way. All you guys are forgetting that she'll be living with a con artist. The only way for normal people to beat a con artist at their own game is not to play. Sheep shouldn't shack up with wolves.
sasha28
[b]Contact[/b]
spicyayam wroteI think all of your fears are more than likely true. My wife is a good listener and we live in Lovina if she ever needs a friend to talk to.
Hello can you resend me your email or contact information? She would love to get a hold of people that she can talk to. She is very happy there at the moment with Putu but a bit lonely and would appreciate being in touch with other people :) If you dont mind.
sasha28
[b]Meeting new people[/b]
spicyayam wroteI think all of your fears are more than likely true. My wife is a good listener and we live in Lovina if she ever needs a friend to talk to.
Hello :) She thinks she might have just met you????? If so please don't tell her I was asking advice about her boyfriend ripping her off haha she is very adamant that he isnt after her money at all and she doesnt really care anyway and wants to support him which is fine......I'm glad she is happy now and as long as she doesn't do anything silly she'll be fine.
She said she was looking at a house next door to a couple that might be you guys. Only because I had mentioned talking to some people that live in Lovina
sasha28
haha I know they are all the same! I dont mind anymore what she does, but we will be there to pick up the pieces, and he probably will be happy to stick around as long as income is coming in, they are both happy with this I suppose it doesnt matter!
