Lothar
This nice piece of 'Be Aware' was written by a nice chap with the name Paul Keith and published in a Thai newspaper under the title 'The Thaiway Code'. I found it so amusing and true that I take the liberty to copy/paste it into here, and have adapted it a little to Bali. There's virtually no difference to Thailand in this :)
So be warned, and look 5 times before you cross a road, or even dare to drive:
[b]‘The Baliway Code’ (scooter version) [/b]
1. It IS possible to transport a family of four or five on your scooter for a shopping expedition.
2. It is also possible to carry six sacks of rice.
3. When there are two people on a scooter, the person who steers doesn’t necessarily have to sit at the front.
4. If your mobile rings, don’t stop, answer it.
5. Very young children who are capable of standing must do so whilst holding on to the handlebars.
6. Never wait to join the opposite carriageway. Scoot in the opposite direction to the traffic and then cross at a suitable moment.
7. When turning right, commence the manoeuvre early. Preferably by three bus lengths, this will ensure that all other road users become invisible and that you never overshoot the junction.
8. If the traffic lights are on red and the coast appears clear, go for it!
9. If the coast isn’t clear, turn left, U turn and turn left again.
10. Get in front of stationary vehicles by any means possible. This includes mounting the pavement (Look for the specially designed disabled persons access ramps.)
11. When turning left out of a junction, never stop or look (The ostrich manoeuvre.)
12. Helmets are for people with two hundred baht in their back pocket (cost of a fine).
11. The front basket of your scooter is used for carrying your helmet.
12. Never on any occasion queue in traffic. Weaving between vehicles is mandatory.
13. At traffic lights get to the front of the queue by any means possible (see No.10). Once at the front, keep edging forward as far as humanly possible. This will ensure that no one else steals your pole position.
14. Only retreat from the pole position if you find that you are obstructing a very large vehicle that is attempting to turn left or right. Then cause as much confusion as possible.
15. The black and white stripes painted on the road at traffic lights are not for pedestrians, it is your starting grid.
16. In the event of the starting grid being full, block the left hand filter lane. Should a car then wish to use this lane you may then legitimately move to the pole position.
17. Scooting against the traffic is okay if you are travelling a short distance.
18. Finely judging the traffic light sequence increases the possibility of your red light appearing green by a ratio of 3-1.
19. When U turning at a roundabout, never on any occasion circumnavigate it.
20. Rear view mirrors are for applying makeup and removing grit from the eye.
21. Blind other road users by fitting green strobe effect lights. These are a great alternative to the boring, bog standard red and yellow light cluster combination.
22. Ensure that other motorcyclists keep their distance by fitting an upward facing ‘Big Boy’ exhaust pipe.
23. If the sun is exceedingly strong, all female scooterists will control the bike with only one hand. The other hand must be used to obstruct her vision by holding a flattened milk carton or cat against her head.
24. Elegance is a female passenger with a skirt sitting side saddle. The word for two of these beauties hasn’t yet been invented.
25. All motorcycle taxi drivers are immortal.
Hope you like it.
Paul Keith
