Dewi's (my wife) parents are a mystery to me. I never really knew how they got their money. I paid Dewi's fathers debts with the village before we married as a gesture. (I didn't want to have the feeling that I "bought" Dewi, but it is common pratice, at least in our western eyes.) I never saw him work. Dewi's mother has a small warung, but there isn't much to buy. I sometimes gave some money, but very little. My opinion was that he was lazy, and other village people thought the same. "Yes I want to look for work, but I don't have a motorbike to do so" was not excatly a reason for me to give him one. Also the house in exchange for Dewi was never given. (this demand vanished during the marriage preparations anyway)
A few weeks ago my hotel site manager Herman (
http://www.balihotelguide.com ) said that he wanted to sell his pool table in the village, and I thought it was a good idea to buy it and give it to Dewi's father who lives next door. The idea stranded in internal village relations, I tried to find out what was going on, but never did. Some day the pool table dissappeared anyway and I waited 2 weeks and bought a new one for Dewi's father. I said everythings fine, but I am an investor, so I want 10% of the profit :). So now they save 50 rupiah from every played game for me. I will save it for them in case the pool table needs repairs.
Its getting crowded behind the house of Dewi's parents, and Dewi's father seems to really like his new job, he even looks a little stressful in my eyes. Dewi's mother sells softdrinks and cigarretes. Dewi told me that her mother told her happily that they could buy bakso today in the street. I felt like a monster, why didn't I help them before?
Now I just hope that the other village people don't put the pool table on fire out of jealousy, or start with black magic stuff (guna guna).
As a westerner you expect a thank you when you give something, but no. I spoke with another westerner who did something special for someone, he also got no thanks. It seems normal, at least around here.
