Jimbo
I am sitting here in Saudi Arabia with tears streaming down my face. First for my wife Maria who is hurting right now and second for me in remembrance of a truly gentle man.My father in law died last night and it has only now begun to sink in. Remembering him causes the sadness I feel to well up inside me at the fact it has been so long since I have seen him and also why I will miss him so much. He was a simple villager and farmer who was happy in his later life at just looking after his beloved water buffalo. I never had long conversations with him as his language was a local dialect which I never learnt. I did however share many an evening with him drinking the local Tuak (palm wine) smoking his hand made local tobacco cigarettes in the days I smoked. We would do a lot of smiling and when the Tuak kicked in a lot of laughing as well.We would do men's jokes sometime being a little coarse but on Sundays he would lead the villagers at the local christian service in prayer.He could never sit down just to relax and would be making grass mats or some object from bamboo. He was an uneducated man but who was so clever in local bushcraft or even catching gold fish in the paddy fields.When I wanted to marry his daughter he not only gave her to me but tied me to the family by giving me a house and land has her dowry. I loved him then and I love him now because he was a good and honourable man. All he ever asked from me was to look after his daughter and to make sure the land stayed in the family.Next year in July all the plans were made for all the extended family to meet together for the first time in years. Now it will be for the funeral ceremony instead when in the tradition of Toraja we will perform burial rite for him.As the oldest male member I am now the head of the extended family and have to arrange this. First his body will have to be purified and embalmed and then I will build a special house or his coffin until we make the cave and effigy's of his life. In July we will have one of the famous funerals when all the family and neighbors and all who knew him will come. We will then celebrate his life in a big feast with everybody bring buffalo or pigs or chickens for the feast. I will say how roud I am of him.Thank god I am going home tomorrow to comfort and be comforted. There are times like this when I hate myself and my work for always being away. I was away when my own mother and father died and this also brings back my own painful memories. Like others before me I had to share this with you as I am alone in my hotel room.Thank you for listening.
