Already in the beginning of the marriage negotiations with the Klian Adat, (religious village head), I heard between the Balinese words, things like immigration, consulate etc. My alarm bells started ringing immediately, when the perfect English speaking Klian Adat told me that I should get the papers to marry according to Indonesian Law. I heard some stories about foreigners that lost all they had because of this, because the wife had the legitimate right to take half or more after such a marriage. So I said no, not just like this, I need to consult people before I do this, and probably draw up papers at the notary. "I don't want to put Dewi in a position where she might be forced, for whatever reason, to take from me and leave me". At that moment the Klian Adat agreed with the father of Dewi and the Kapalla Desa to a religious marriage. Tonight however, Dewi told me that the Klian Adat has been telling this around the village, and many people said it was very bad for Dewi, this arrangement. Tomorrow he will talk to me again with the father of Dewi and Dewi present, and Monday I have to come to the Village Head to sign all kind of things regarding me becoming a Hindu and the marriage, one of the signatures will say that I have to marry according to Indonesian Law, Dewi told me. Dewi understands my reasoning and doesn't want to marry to law, but hopes that I can put them off by postponing the lawful marriage. It might well be possible that there is no permission is given for the religious marriage if I not agree to all papers I have to sign. With all I have I try to trust Dewi, and I hardly succeed anymore. I have two thought lines, one of them is that I am caught in another tourist scam, and if I want I can find many reasons to make this "line" believable. The other is a concerned village leadership and father, they may think that I am just taking Dewi to "use" and throw away when not needed anymore, and thus reducing her chances to find a good husband (again) and loosing her good name, they want to give her security. There are probably some examples of that to be found on Bali too. I heard one of them. Together with Dewi I decide to tell tomorrow and Monday that I want to marry according to Indonesian law, but not after investigating all consequences this might have, so Dewi and I will do this after the religious marriage. And I will smile, and not talk about all the bad people on Bali. But when I feel forced, I'll probably stand up and say NO, and say to Dewi "it's up to you now, you are an adult according to law, come with me, or leave me, don't let the village or your father decide what should happen with us". Here a picture of a cremation of a family member of Dewi at the Pemaron graveyard, "kuburan". http://bali-information.com/forumpics/crema.jpg[/img]She is set on fire with some primitive fuel nozzles, while the young kids are watching curiously. Looking at the construction of the fuel system it doesn't seem unlikely that the cremation one day will burn more family members then intended. This kuburan is famous for its appearances of ghosts. Dewi doesn't want to drive by the kuburan in the night, afraid. When we do coincidentally, I hear some stories about them, some ghost disappeared when they where given money she tells. Even the bloody ghosts are corrupt.The power plant in Pemaron is being built. But the fight against it is not over yet, Pemaron has made Greenpeace:[url="http://act.greenpeace.org/1052348909/index_html"]http://act.greenpeace.org/1052348909/index_html[/url]
7 days later
Hi BertJust wondering how you and Dewi are ?cheers
[b]We are[/b]We are fine, the Alu has died however. Still busy finding out the legalities about marrige, even the balinese marriage has legal consequences. The marriage is planned on may 30, and ofcourse costs more than planned.The new house we have is great, more relaxed then the village. Even have "cable tv" and a western style toilet and shower. But I prefer washing with the ordinary "bak". And I am not going to buy toilet paper.May 30, I become hindu, have birth ceremony, 3 months ceremony, teeth filing and marriage. And there will be Joged dance in the evening.Please come.
5 days later
[b]Would like to be there but[/b]in Perth and at work. Will be thinking of you - take plenty of clothes as the water part of the birth ceremony is very wet! Just a joke.Also in the news is the death of a member of the Royal Family = Guy Sukawati. he was an exec with Garuda for many years and was only 57. Very sad. Ceremony is on Friday and Funeral on Sat at Ubud.Will you be posting photos? Have you sorted out the legalise? Dewi will now have be able to have a European passport - and to be able to travel. Lucky girl - look after her.cheers and hope it is a happy day for both of you.
Death can be sad or joyfull.Anyway, the village leader including dewi's daddy tried to lure me into civil marriage witout me knowing... The pendanda (high priest) ,sorry for the spelling, convinced them that I am a nice guy, so the civil marriage is off, and just a hindu marriage until Dewi and I sorted out the legal stuff. A notaris in Ubud ( married to a dutch guy) convinced me that there are no legal issues involved with a religious marriage, so I am fine. I hope.I met met a ant of Dewi who already spend 10 years in bed without getting out. She was happy to see me (she is 95). Her ex husband married her younger sister and is the grandfather of Dewi. Everybody thinks she is sick because she has changed from Hindu to christianity. She wants to die. I said to her that God wants her to live, and gave her 20.000 rupiah. She said that Dewi is a smart girl to marry me. I held her tiny breakable hands and wanted to cry.http://bali-information.com/forumpics/grandma.jpg[/img]
[b]Your quote[/b]re death is right - but it is sad at 57 - still young.You will be having the same type of marriage as Mick and Jerry (Jagger and Hall). It will not be legally binding or recognised anywhere. Probably a smart idea except how it will affect your status in Indonesia. No passport for Dewi without the legal side.anyway have fun on Friday and an early night tomorrow night. Hope the weather is fine.Look forward to the photoscheers