Hi,

murphynagari

PERtoDPS wrote Do you seriously consider yourself a Hindu and follow all their weird customs about rituals and luck and all that or you just did it for the paperwork? Personally no way, and it's why we haven't been married until now. Though I do agree there are some Balinese chicks who are Hindu who will just find a cheap wedding and not scam the shit out of you. Different villages have very different customs too. Technically I could build a house in my mrs village (and afford to) and live there, realistically, I'd be an outcast, the talk of the town and ostrised. Living in Sydney isn't the solution forever but there is definitely some really complex issues to address here IMO. I'm a bit of a nothing religiously. I've always helped my Mrs but also always made it clear I'm not feeding the family or fixing every problem they have. I'll help them with the odd thing but that is where the line is drawn. After all I guarentee you we are just "rich bule" to them. You have to see it for it what it is. Of course, your situation may be far different to mine. If you are happy, that is fantastic, who am I to judge? But that is a road I don't want to go down personally.

Mate I've been married for 20 years I have 3 bother in laws one is a farmer has never asked for money and always help me if I asked. The other 2 have done nothing but rip me off every chance they get . Luckily my wife spent a long time in Australia working with me on mining sites she was a cleaning. She knows exactly how hard Western people work to get money . And what your talking about is very common with Balinese family's who's female member married to Foreigners . They basically think they won the lottery and you are obligated to support them forever . In the early days when I was still working I offered to help them set up a family business . They weren't interested. But expected everytime I flew in I was working 2 weeks on 1 week off to give them money . I had a Dihatshu Taft the eldest brother was driving us to airport every 2 weeks . He was given money to park it in storage every 2 weeks . I started to notice the fuel was empty every time I got back I always left it full . So I started setting the trip meter to zero b4 i left when I got back there was 600 ks on it . What he was doing was renting it out and also pocketing the storage fee . This is only one of many scams they did . When I stopped working and retired in Bali I told them I'm not giving them any more money they all had jobs . They went out and slandered my name al over the Desa . My wife n I will always help there kids with there education but n I help the Farmer brother now n then but the other 2 can f off

PERtoDPS

SamD wrote Lighten up mate. Don't take it all so seriously. Of course I am not a real Hindu, it was an administrative requirement. But I go to the temple when I have to and follow the ritual, much the same when I was a practising Catholic. Which ended about 50 years ago. Cheers. "After all I guarentee you we are just "rich bule" to them." Is that how you refer to your inlaws? Maybe I got lucky, I love my wife's family and they love me. You can scoff all you like, but it is true. They have never asked me for anything.

I'm absolutely not having a dig at you at all and every extended family is different, for example my Mrs is honest and loyal but her family sometimes manipulates her to get what they want and we have to work it out backwards, for example borrow the new scooter for a week and it comes back in 3 weeks on empty. Think of my post more as a warning to new bule to consider type of thing. I guess your post just brought these thoughts (which I was already longer term pondering) to the forefront of my mind.

RossM

murphynagari wrote Mate I've been married for 20 years I have 3 bother in laws one is a farmer has never asked for money and always help me if I asked. The other 2 have done nothing but rip me off every chance they get . Luckily my wife spent a long time in Australia working with me on mining sites she was a cleaning. She knows exactly how hard Western people work to get money . And what your talking about is very common with Balinese family's who's female member married to Foreigners . They basically think they won the lottery and you are obligated to support them forever . In the early days when I was still working I offered to help them set up a family business . They weren't interested. But expected everytime I flew in I was working 2 weeks on 1 week off to give them money . I had a Dihatshu Taft the eldest brother was driving us to airport every 2 weeks . He was given money to park it in storage every 2 weeks . I started to notice the fuel was empty every time I got back I always left it full . So I started setting the trip meter to zero b4 i left when I got back there was 600 ks on it . What he was doing was renting it out and also pocketing the storage fee . This is only one of many scams they did . When I stopped working and retired in Bali I told them I'm not giving them any more money they all had jobs . They went out and slandered my name al over the Desa . My wife n I will always help there kids with there education but n I help the Farmer brother now n then but the other 2 can f off

So typical of families in 'developing' countries where the foreign husband is seen as a pot of gold to be milked. Well done on drawing the line!!

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