Markit
Got a buddy that went through a seriously bad breakup with his Oz partner just after they completed building "their" dreamhouse here on the island. He ended up in various A and Es with an honest attempt at "ending it all". To help him on the eventual road to recovery I unselfishly introduced him to a really cheap whore working out of a warung by day and knocking-shop by night. As mates do!!Well it seems to have now, after about 1.5 years of constant shagging, to have turned into the love of his life (well, this stage of it anyway). He gives her endless money and she gives him endless head. Hollywood where are you for the next "Suck, Pull and Leave"?So far so good, you'd think, right? All the romantics are silently weeping in their hankies I'm sure. Here's the thing: I've now learned from a couple of independent sources that she's still doing the dirty with some old friends from her whoring days (did I mention that she'd turned into very moral young woman? She still looks like a cheap hooker but what do you expect?) and has been giving my mates money with both hands to her old flames. Question I need to have answered is - do I tell my mate?He's happy and probably won't be when he finds out. He's my mate and mates tend to take that **** badly and shoot the messenger. Ann Landers what a fecking time to die.
Nakal
I would tell him.Been in slightly the same situation where the g/f of my best buddy was screwing around.He was very happy I told him, especially since he was planning to take the next step, propose...Your mate should spend his money on better things... like your cheese addiction?
sherm
Anyone else you can introduce him to? 18 months is about the limit for those with short attention spans.
no.idea
Do not bother telling him, he probably already knows but does not want to admit that to himself.Many of the hookers I often drink with do not consider that they are playing up if it a former client or regular shag. The general feeling is that they are being faithful because they are not taking on new customers.
Normy
Yes, what is there to tell? He has been here some years now and must know the way it goes. 'Help' her out if he is loaded with dosh and does not care where it ends up. Sticking to the 3 rules has its benefits, ie. Screw, Pay ,Leave. Of course this is all hearsay from friends much younger than me.
Markit
Seems to be about an even split Tell/Don't Tell. Funny thing is she's kept the braces on her teeth long after they've done their job but she uses them as an excuse to go visit her Dentist or as we now know her boyfriend(s). Ring any bells there Ron?Nakal you are a man after my own heart with his priorities absolutely in line.
mugwump
The greatest problem for western men is our mindset. We have a cultural disadvantage about pairing that makes us vulnerable to eastern women not only because of age, romantic, monetary and biological differences and priorities, but also in the motivation for the relationship to begin with. I am not knocking it, just being objective about a very subjective matter. Whether by whore or saint a man in the East is looked upon as a source of accomplishment or ego gratification to begin with.Square pegs in round holes, and do with that what you will.
SusanSydney
I've been not buying into this one because Of not feeling qualified to help.However, I suppose you have thought about what if he doesn't know and he blames you later for not telling him?Then your concern that he will blame you happens anyway.Either way, he's heading for a very unhappy time, whether it's sooner or later.Just a thought.
Markit
I've been not buying into this one because Of not feeling qualified to help.However, I suppose you have thought about what if he doesn't know and he blames you later for not telling him?Then your concern that he will blame you happens anyway.Either way, he's heading for a very unhappy time, whether it's sooner or later.Just a thought.[/QUOTE]That had occurred to me also and I really don't know a way around it - hence the post. You may not know it but I don't usually trouble this horde of geriatric beer-slingers with my incredibly fascinating and important private life
tintin
That had occurred to me also and I really don't know a way around it - hence the post. You may not know it but I don't usually trouble this horde of geriatric beer-slingers with my incredibly fascinating and important private life[/QUOTE]Given your age, you must have come across such a dilemma a dozen of times, but maybe you did not care or paid attention, given your incredibly boring and insignificant life!
Markit
Luckily, no, for all the above.
Mark
Well, if he catches something and his dick falls off or something else terrible befalls him, and you knew the truth about his bird but never told him, what kind of friend would you be then...
Markit
Yeah, good point. I did lead the horse to water but damned if it's my fault if he don't use a cup...To stretch the metaphor even further - my mate did know everyone else had been drinking from that tap before it turned sloppy.On balance I'm still a little conflicted. Matey gave her scads of dosh before his sabbatical in OZ for a month which was promptly gone about 1 week in. She then thought I'd fill in for her monetary needs in his stead - wrong!
Gozer
I made this mistake recently. I told a guy I knew, some of the things that his wife had told my wife. I was honestly hoping that they could work it all out. I even offered some advice on how to approach the issues. Instead he went home and beat the **** out of her. My new policy is stay out of it. You don't want to be the cause of things getting out of hand and it is really difficult to predict the outcome.
Markit
My bud's not really the "crap-beating-out" type but peeps are fecking weird so you never really know do you?Gozer was your bud glad you told him? Obviously his misses will hold you responsible for her missing teeth but could you find a feck to give?
Gozer
He seemed glad at the time and even thanked me. You are right though she blamed me completely for the abuse. She even started talking about what an a-hole I am to everyone in the area. I did care as I do not support spousal abuse, but I do not feel it was my fault. I later found out that it was a common occurrence at their house and I he had just used the information as his latest excuse to beat her. The worst part was that their daughter tried to help the mom and got hit too.You are also right that you never know. I had no idea what was going on at their house until this. You also cannot predict how their conversation will progress. She might say something that will just send him out of control. I suggest you stay out of it just because you never know.On the flip side of this I would want to know and would be very appreciative if someone told me. I do not think I would necessarily believe them, but I would look into it. I guess my point is that you don't know what you don't know. You don't know how someone will react to this kind of information and you don't know how you would react to getting it.
Nydave
You seem to have some information as to who she is involved with,so maybe if you can find a bit more info like when and where and even possibly some type of time frame as to when she is doing these things/guys,then maybe pick up your mate without telling him anything, make a point of being in the same place at the same time as she is,this way he will see for himself,your off the hook and then its up to him as to how he deals with it,obviously it would take a bit of creative planning and may not work the first couple of times you try it,but as its bothering you so much I think it would be worth the effort,just a suggestion,
Markit
Dave that might work in the west or here with Indos but everywhere we (Bule) show up the whole neighborhood knows about it in 5 minutes so fading into the undergrowth and spying isn't really an option here. But keep up the creative thinking...
Natasha
I would tell him, it's bad enough she's cheating on him, even worse if he finds out everyone knew and no one told him.Living in a foreign country and having one real friend watching your back, to me that's gold.
matsaleh
In my very humble opinion, Markit, I think you should bite your tongue and keep your own counsel. As much as it would be nice to help your friend, it will more than likely come back to bite you. If you did decide to give him a "heads up", it probably wouldn't save the relationship and you would more than likely lose a good friend. When push comes to shove, most people just want to shoot the messenger.
