JAMIE
THANKS FOR THE LOOK INTO YOUR LIFE AS A PARENT IN BALI . (OOOPS YELLING) . I seem to remember in one of your prior posts that you kids dont speak english , am i right on that ? Has your family been to nyc yet ? I see from what your cooking the familty your belly is still located in the usa .
Helen
Love reading about a normal day in your life Roy. Sounded quite natural to me. It must be right, because the boys are so well adjusted and happy. You and Eri have created a secure and stable life for the boys to grow up in.
Roy
Thank you Princess,
Knowing my family as well as you do, and more importantly, knowing very well the plight of northern Balinese kids…it’s really great to hear kind words from you.
Anyone else reading this post, anyone, who has ever felt in their gut a twitch to help in Bali should consider Helen’s foundation. I’ll say it again, as I’ve said it before…it wasn’t me who signed up with Helen, rather it was my Balinese wife.
We have a daughter. Her name is Ni Luh. I am not her father, nor is my wife Eri her mother. But she IS our daughter!
http://www.helenflavelfoundation.org
JAMIE
Your last post Roy really hit home for me ....The kindest thing a human can do is share his (her ) family , dude , your good people ......my sis emailed me this .... My home is just north of the
airport in the center of what would be considered downtown Manhattan in N.Y.
I live between 66 Road and GadoGado Road in Seminyak just across from the
supermarket called BINTANG. It's very easy to find since it's the center of
where all the expats live on the Kita beach side.....she is a very genuine person and would love to meet some new people ....my hope is that one of your guys could show her how to navigate to this forum , shes not very cpu savey except with emailing thx jamie
Jimbo
Welcome Ni Lu
Where abouts do you live in the UK? Have you stayed there long. My wife and children are in the Manchester area where there are many Indonesians studying.
Tell us a little bit about yourself.
JAMIE
roy to add to your day ,heres an email from my sister who tells of her day ....Dear Javejames, Yes, it will rain hopefully for the next four months but a
good monsoon is that it rains at nite and is sunny during the day. The
problem is that it floods the streets since the engineering of the roadways
is done so badly that we get floods alot. The biggest problem we have is
the water table here is so low that the quality of water is bad because it
has alot of chalk.
I have had to add a water filter system from U.S. which isn't doing much so
I am now saving rain water to wash my hair since that's where it affects me
the most. THE WHOLE PROBLEM STEMS FROM THE THIRTY YEARS OF MASS TOURISM
BUILDING AND NO PLANNING FOR THE FUTURE WHICH HAS AFFECTED THE BALANCE OF
THE ENVIRONMENT. SOLD ALL THEIR RICE FIELDS TO THE HOTEL BUILDERS AND NO
ONE CARED ABOUT THEIR NEIGHBORHOODS AND THE FURTHURING OF THEIR PRIVATE
FARMS IN ADVANCE.
Speaking of gardens, I redid mine last month and will have the nicest flower
and herb garden in the neighborhood after the monsoon finish. Also planted
a few mango trees which I hope someday you get to eat with me. It will take
a few months for the plants to settle and spread out nicely. I did it when
you said you bought trees, thanks for the inspiration. Also redid the
outside bathroom in Wayan's house over since Teak tree grew too big from my
neighbors house and the roots came up through the floor of my shower. We
call it a pregnant bathroom. I'm so exhausted with having workers around
for the past two months that I am enjoying a moment until I come up with the
next thing to repair. You spend you life like living on a boat here since
all the little bugs are busy eating away everything you just built and you
must keep on top of it or you will be on a sinking ship. It's very
frustrating since it's not their style to keep things repaired. They use
something until it breaks and then try to fix it with something temporarily
instead of maintaining the working order of the item beforehand. So I have
had the problem of getting something repaired and have them break something
else on the repaired item. My dentist friend keeps telling me to only fix
it when it's broken. I'm a perfectionist and that's very frustrating. The
INDOS are the opposite, they only fix it when it's hanging off it's hinges
or rebuild something when it's been totally eaten by termites instead of
spraying and killing the bugs. They a just funky in style. I'm not but
will not go to the style most expats are which is having a small army of
servants who are constantly doing all the things I do myself. That makes me
even crazier. Love, Frustrated SIS
Roy
Ni Luh…VERY impressive! Selamat to your whole family! Great to see that you and Helen are already “in touch.” We look forward to hearing more from you on this forum.
Thorsten
Hi Ni Luh,
what a wonderful idea for a Christmas gift, something that really makes sense!
For myself, I have stopped the x-mas terror since years now, no running after presents through terrible crowds anymore, no gifts for me nor for anybody else and finally no stress anymore due all this consume crap.
Will get to know my kids this January, also sponsored through Helen and I’m really curious about the learning centre project.
Instead of wasting money for gifts nobody wants or nobody needs, just out of politeness, we have decided to spend the money for something valuable, something which gives other people a perspective and/or support and the satisfaction that comes from this is also much better.
Best regards
Thorsten
Roy
Feeling guilty that I haven’t offered a reasonably worthy post here in some time, I thought I should offer an insight into my daily life, in Bali…which will be most boring I assure you.
Before I paint the picture, I want to present the frame. The frame is seven plus years of age, the father of three great sons and gilded with a Balinese woman who is beyond comparison. The painting is likely very mundane, boring, and certainly not exciting.
It’s about awakening at 6:30AM every weekday, to get the two oldest boys ready for school. A mandi (bath) a good breakfast, and dressing in school uniforms as the two oldest boys jump into our Kijang, and head off to Denpasar for another day of school.
For me, it’s onto the computer, checking e-mails, and my eBay activity. Then, off line, it’s time to prepare more jpegs, more descriptions for more eBay sales. In the afternoon, after Eri has returned with Bima and Rama, it’s lunch, some rest, and then off to our gallery to tend to business there.
Sometimes, before 10AM and 1PM, before my wife returns with Bima and Rama, I get the urge to cook. I really enjoy cooking, and all my boys love my pasta dishes, home fried potatoes, omelets, and fried fish or chicken dishes. Cooking, for me anyway, is like therapy. It’s not at all what’s expected of me, so that’s why I really enjoy it. We have plenty of pembantus, but I really like throwing them out of my kitchen. They like it too of course, except at clean up. .
Expats that are single, or married without kids are less likely to be “in a routine.” The fact is, I can hardly remember the almost two years of being married to Eri before we had our first son, Bima. Having kids most certainly defines a routine. There is no avoiding it.
Parenting children on Bali brings up a whole new set of concerns/issues for the western expat spouse/co-parent, and this is most especially true when the spouse is Balinese.. As a western expat, now parent, we wouldn’t be here if we didn’t want to be, nor would we co-parent a child if we didn’t want to. But, raised in our western ways…what do we do now?
Personally, I find comfort in the “routine.” I was raised that way…a rigid routine…so that aspect of familiarity with “western ways” seems to soothe my concerns.
For me, there is nothing more humbling than the reality that you are responsible for the lives of three children. The “experts” say that one half of what they ultimately become is genetically determined, and the other half is from their upbringing. Well, if those “experts” are right, then our half as parents is vital.
Even before our first son, Bima was born, Eri and I agreed that we would raise our kids as Balinese. Two sons later, now raising three sons, I have no regrets at all with that decision. It seems that our “routine” is working.
Kids like routines, or at least, they seem to need them. A certain expectation of the day’s activities provides the child with a certain level of calm and comfort. Moreover, in this comfortable environment, they learn and prosper.
I really believe that Bali is one of the greatest places on earth to raise kids. The children are particularly sensitive to the “niskala” of Bali…the unseen and unheard. As much as their parents are driven by the “sekala” of Bali…the seen and heard, the children are influenced and grow through both influences. Even more, I know without doubt that the community aspect of child welfare is far more evident here than in the country I left behind. In every banjar in Bali, it is the children that are most precious.
Yes, it is most certainly an important issue for any parent…that is…how or where to raise your children. And, no matter what we do, or do not do, they will always love us. But for me, what I have learned is the hardest lesson. That is, to put aside my own preconceived, predetermined ideas and trust the culture that I am raising them in.
So, it is another boring day in the life of an expat tomorrow for me, and just another day of making a few rupiah, seeing my two oldest sons off to school, checking on our gallery…and maybe even cooking.
Could life possibly be better?
In any event, this is just an insight into one of my days, as an expat, and I have no doubts that there are many, many more insightful stories to be shared by other expats…their typical day living in Bali. So…let’s hear….
Roy
Jamie writes:
[quote]I seem to remember in one of your prior posts that you kids dont speak english , am i right on that ?[/quote]
No, their English is excellent. I only speak in English to our boys, (no other choice actually), and even my wife often uses English rather than Bashasa Indonesia or Balinese. They are proficient in all three languages and if we can find a good Mandarin tutor, we’ll start them off on that too.
No, no trips to the states yet. I haven’t been back in over 7 years so when we do go…after Komang is at least five, it will be a big shock I am sure!
I enjoyed your sister’s e-mail. Where does she live in Bali? In the Ubud area lots of improvements have been made to the infrastructure, particularly the road and drainage systems, so we don’t have the problems that she discusses.
As far as my cooking goes, I only cook about 30% of our meals and either Eri or one of our pembantus cook the rest. So, yes, I get plenty of Indonesian and Balinese dishes, that’s for sure. Funny thing is, I don’t know any western expats here that exist only on Indonesian or Balinese dishes.
Roy
Well done Thorsten! Do keep in mind that this beautiful and brilliant Balinese lady is already married. :shock:
You'll have to find your own when you come to Bali yourself. :D
Thorsten
Dear Roy,
I have a really cute, young lady here beside me, she needs a lot of tenderness today, although her temper is mostly like a hurricane, a wild thing.
She’s black like the sin, just liking my feet and it’s hard to leave her alone now, though I will go out tonight.
Unfortunately she’s not allowed to leave the house, because she’s still too young.
She’s in my house since almost two weeks now and since last week she’s not peeing on the newspaper anymore, even when excited she finds her cat’s toilet now :wink:
best regards
Thorsten
Roy
Puppy training wasn't exactly what I had in mind for you Thorsten, at least not here in Bali.
BUT...for each, his/her own I say. :lol:
PS...you shouldn't leave a new puppy alone and "go out." Take the puppy with you, (going out). Do you have any idea how many ladies will smother you and the pup? :D
I should get paid for writing this advise! :!:
matsaleh
Roy, I think Thorsten's new pet is a kitten, not a puppy. :wink: Am I right, Thorsten?
Roy
Are you sure? When I was growing up it was always newspaper for the pups, and cat boxes with pellets for the cats. Nothing stinks more than cat piss, eh?
Now, on the other hand, my high caste pet, I. G. Uana needs neither newspaper, or a cat box to conclude his business. He simply waits for the rain, runs up a tree, and adds a little color to the water from heaven.
I Gusti is THE BOSS in my house! :P :P :P :P
Baliken
Interesting Roy,,although not quite an expat yet, have to sort out some minor things here before I finally take the plunge.
Amazingly enough, I had 11 trips back and forth from Bali last year..
Something to consider when you make the big move to bali,
what the hell will I do when I come??
NO kids to look after like you, all grown up, Oh, except my Indonesian Istri,,,,LOL
Love my golf ( can get a little too exp in Bali)
To solve this problem, we would take 2 week trips to Java 2/3 times a year....
Love my beer, and that could present a problem.
but will try to abstain 4 days a week.
Have a project on the go at the moment, but my expertise wont be needed until july/aug next year...
looks like Im gonna spend sometime in the kitchen..
Bali_Ken......soon to be
JAMIE
ROY ..I think its so neat that your kids are tri lingual . When the time comes for you to show your children where daddy comes from i think it will blow there mind . I know when my sister brought her son ( who like your kids was born in Bali ) to the USA , he was floored . When wayan ( nephew) came the my home in New jersey for a visit he asked me what type of surf board i liked to use ???? he was 11 at the time . One more story about wayan (nephew) . Years later he when to UCLA to study film , he called me one day and we chatted bout this and that , at the end of our talk i asked wayan how the surf was in Cali . Surf! he shouted , there is no surf in America ! i didnt even bring a baord , and its to cold in California . After hanging up with the kid i thought to myself " too cold in Cali ? ....my sister lives in Kuta and has sent to an invitation to you all in bali to come by her home , i lost the email and have asked her to resend ...i wish she was more cou literate , she would love the writings on this board .thx
matsaleh
[b]Re: RE: A Day In The Life of a Bali Expat[/b]
[quote=Thorsten] She’s in my house since almost two weeks now and since last week she’s not peeing on the newspaper anymore, even when excited she finds her [b]cat’s toilet now [/b]:wink:
[/quote]
From Thorsten's post I assumed it was a kitten, but I could be wrong.
Roy, you're new pet sounds very cute, but not very cuddly. :roll:
matsaleh
That should have been "your new pet", not "you're new pet".
Bert, PLEASE restore the Edit function! :cry:
Roy
You're right Mats, I. G. Uana is not very cuddly, but then again, why would I "curl" up with a fur ball or a dingo when I am so lucky to have my wife Eri?
Gusti seems to be jealous though. He's been twice caught running sprints over us in the wee hours of the morning. As any self-respecting, well raised Balinese lady will tell you, that is not a good thing!
Eri told me, just yesterday of some great Balinese recipes that call for an I.G. Uana. I need to talk to Gusti. :shock:
I suspect Thorsten's fur ball will require expensive therapy later in life...being potty trained on newspaper. :P
