Bali Expat Forum - Bali Travel Forum

Hi all,

Have just returned from another month in Indo (2 weeks Bali, 2 weeks Java) where I finally had the opportunity to marry my sweetheart in a Kawin Sirih ceremony on Valentines Day. Unfortunately after 2 days of planning and preparation by the ladies and the gathering of 24 male friends and family from the kampung, the Imam sat himself down on the floor and.....a lightning bolt reduced one of our coconut trees to a matchstick not 200 feet away, the heavens opened up with the heaviest rain I've ever encountered and we were plunged into inky blackness! Nevertheless the rain eased and we were able to get the show on the road assisted by 2 candles! Although we weren't able to get many photos because of the blackout and despite not going quite to plan it was a memorable experience and an event that is certainly etched into the memories of Ani and myself. To be honest, it was very romantic to do it by candlelight and it made the Islamic chanting very haunting and moving, I certainly had tingles running up my spine despite not understanding a lot of what was being said.

The ceremony certainly was nothing like what I expected but I managed to get through without any blunders in what I had to do and now I can proudly call Ani my wife. Kawin Sirih is not a 'legal' marriage but rather a religious marriage but despite this we will celebrate this day as our wedding day and I have been accepted into the desa as her husband (except by one recalcitrant bastard who everyone hates anyway). Now its just a waiting game to see if her visa is approved and hopefully in the not to distant future I'll have her by my side all the time. For now, back to the grindstone.....

Regards
Adz

Congratulations!

Adam, or Adz, and very quickly after reading your post...not now being able to respond in full (Nyepi) can I please at least assure you that your experience is spot on with the rest of us!

I’ll come back to this string after Nyepi, and maybe we can share some real laughs, and some photos too!

Selamat...congratulations, is the word most meaningful right now. Cheers!

Taking part in a ceremony where you can't understand what's being said and since it's dark you can't see what's going on and all this accompanied by explosions and fire sounds like the beginning of a marriage made in heaven (or wherever) - it can only get better!

Lottsa Luck

Still no time Adam to fully reply to your post, but I just can’t leave Markit’s post sitting there without a response.

<Mod edit>

No personal attacks


This is my tenth consecutive Nyepi in Bali, Markit. But hey, “the floor is yours” so go ahead and tell us all about it.

Congratulation Adam!
And tell us about her visa... than with Kawin sirih you don´t have any paper with marital status. Or she visit your country just with touristvisa?

Salam,
Dyah

Hey Roy whats up?

Wasn't aiming at anybody or thing so take it easy - I've always thought that these perfect marriages, you know white dresses, all the bloody family, perfect plates and silverware, etc. etc. are doomed from the outset. It's the ones like Adam's that last.

Just keep taking the Prozac dude.

Hi Bert, Roy, Dyah and Markit (I think?) thanks for your kind words.

Dyah, we chose to do Kawin Sirih because Ani (my wife) has applied for an Australian Prospective Marriage visa (or Fiance visa). As a condition of this visa we cannot be married legally but must marry in Australia after she is granted the visa. If we were to get legally married we would have to apply for a Spouse visa and a major condition of this visa is that we must have lived together for 12 months, obviously impossible for our situation. Kawin Sirih allowed us to make a more formal commitment to each other and give us married status within the village and community without interferring with the visa requirements. As you can understand, its not a good look for an unmarried Muslim girl to be living with a bule, even in a very moderate village such as ours, so this was a way of paying respect to our friends and family too.

Sorry Markit, but I don't know how to take your posts. I'm not taking a shot at you but if you knew more about Indonesian culture you would understand that 'thats how its done there'. It was far from a disaster, quite the opposite in fact and I think what happened only made it better. For sure, I have a lot to learn still about her culture and religion but the best way to learn is to jump in head first.

I must say however, that the ceremony itself is a bit rough on the ladies. They slave away cooking all day and then the blokes get to sit around and eat it! Hang on, maybe thats not so bad afterall.....

Take care
Adam

Assalaam Aleikum

In the eyes of God you are married. You just have to catch up with the civil side. Good luck to you both for now and the future. I wish you all the happiness in the world.

GREAT photo of you and Kawin Adam. A remarkable and I’m sure long day for you both, and clearly blessed by that thunderbolt!

Over the years Eri and I have been to so many weddings, both Islamic and Balinese, and we remember them all with great fondness and pleasure. Of course it is our own that we laugh about the most, and my bet is that you two will be doing the same many years down the road. Cheers and selamat to you both!

...And, how about some more photos please?

Hi ya all, thanks again for the nice words, I wish Ani could be reading them too.

Your both right, apart from the fact it was our wedding, it probably had a greater impact on me personally simply because it was different to what I've ever experienced before. It certainly beat the hell out of any wedding I've been to here in oz if for no other that its simplicity and lack of formality. Its quick and to the point - you make your promise to the family and god that you will take care of this girl to the best of your abilities. Isn't that exactly what it truly is about?

I'm so proud that Ani has given me this opportunity to make her my wife. Without going into too many personal details she has had a really horrible life and she honestly believed she'd never be married. Maybe in a year or 2 she'll wish she wasn't , joking of course.

Righty o, he's a couple more photo's (of the very few that we have).

Take care
Adam

Some of the fella's just minutes before the lights went out....

The ladies working hard before the men devour their efforts.....

Super photos! I'll bet the food was great!

Lucky for you, you’re Australian (assuming) and will never have to worry about any of these photos being used against you if you were running for President of the US.

That is just a joke, and not intending to distract this string from its great subject.

So, what did those ladies cook up, and how "were things" in the morning, or is your constitution already used to pedas?

Sounded really exciting! Sounds as though your wedding was blessed. My first marrige ended fairly shortly. later i discovered a roll of film in her camera, I developed it and it was double exposed, pictures of her and me at the alter& and me sitting on the crapper!!!. No Kidding, wasnt funny at the time, but now I find it hilarious. Your story sounds as though a better outcome will "develop".. Enjoy your gift,, Frog