Truth be told, I purposely squatted down so my image would not be misconstrued within the hierarchy of the adult males in my family. In my mind it was kind of like how I position myself when called to sit with the high priest during a ceremony. One never wants to position themselves higher than they should.
As it was, it was Kumpi, the patriarchal elder, great grandfather, and head of the family who insisted that I be next to his side, as he often does when we are at temple. I cannot explain this amazing bond that Kumpi and I have. That should be the place for his son, my father in law, but I don’t ask questions, rather I chose to remain sensitive and respectful all around. But, you are both right in that I do look as though I am “cut and pasted” into the family photo. But that is OK for me. I know my place within my family, and it is beyond anything I could ever expect, and I also know I am not Balinese, nor will I ever be Balinese. Our sons, yes, and that’s all that matters to me.
If you look closely at the shot, I am just slightly higher in elevation than my youngest brother in law, Ketut. As he is unmarried, and thus not part of the banjar adat, that was OK. In reality, I can vote, and he can’t, but of course I never vote and only offer my opinion when asked.
Tony took a great number of various shots...including the women of our family, and the men. When it came time for the men in our family, I abstained, and would not include myself. Also absent by his choice is my brother in law, Wayan Tagel who is married to Eri’s older sister. Thus, this is a great photo of the men, the patriarchal and Balinese substance of our family:
