Bali Expat Forum - Bali Travel Forum

[Bert Vierstra]

Its not so strict, its just the street talk...

I also once almost jumped at a police officer (!) who said nasty things about Dewi, not knowing I could understand him...

[Tinkerbelle]

I always find the funny side of things if it is just street talk bring on Sam Newman ha ha!. Love to see his comments on the subject ahhhh don't you just love the footy season go the dockers!!. I also think the E-girls should be stripped of theire premiership medals like olympians are and be made to change theire team song"We are flying high". Its obvious a lot were high for the grand final ha ha.

[manc in oz]

Just go for it Adam and enjoy yourself. You could stay with her and then see if she would like to stay a few days in a nice hotel before you leave. Maybe in Ubud or Sanur. I'm sure you'll have a ball.

[FreoGirl]

Hi Adam
Sounds like your girl can handle herself - my comments about reputation just come from experience where I've seen local girls get a very hard time after spending time with a bule, especially when they were open about it.
As far as social attitudes go toward relationships before marriage, I found Indonesia was like going back to the 50's. Agree or disagree with those attitudes, it's just the way it is and we have to deal with it.

Anyway, your original post was asking about the legalities - I think that has been explained - it's up to her to tell her landlord, and up to the landlord to report to the police.

Social issues aside, I suggest you stay with her, get her to tell her landlord and leave it at that. The responsibility then lays with the landlord to sort out the legalities. It will be a great experience to see your girl in her home environment and no doubt will bring you closer together.

Freo

[Adam]

Thanks everyone, the last few posts have really put my mind at ease, for several reasons.

Good to see that I'm not the only one that gets frustrated about the the cat calling and wolf whistles etc etc, I'm not an aggressor so would never act on my impulses in that regard but it does leave me thinking why do these clowns bother to waste their energy. Hopefully one day they might upset the wrong person and find out it is much wiser to grow up a bit and keep ones mouth shut. Like Bert's experience, I dont think they expect me to understand indonesian, it is actually quite funny how quickly their confidence evaporates when the penny drops that you just understood what they said and give them a nice long angry stare!

I'm just gunna stick by the rules, register myself with my girlfriend with the cops as soon as I get there and see what happens from there. We'll be as discrete as we can and if any trouble brews we'll just head off to a hotel somewhere. I just hope no harm comes to her after I've gone.

Thank you all for the great information, can't wait to get there! Just 2 more sleeps......

[Jimbo]

In the 24 years Maria and I have been together I have never experianced the cat calls. It may have been of course that for the majority of that time we have had kids trailing around with us and that may have made the difference.

[Adam]

Hi there

Sorry to dig this old one up but I thought I would add on what happened in case anyone searches for this kind of info in the future.

To put it short and the sweet the experience was absolutely awesome!! The best and most rewarding time i've ever had in my life.

Staying in my girlfriends kos was no problem what so ever. To ease my mind, on the way 'home' from the airport (she picked me up on her motorbike) we registered with the police in Kuta. It was very simple, I just gave them a photocopy of my passport and plane tickets (which i had taken back here in oz) and Ani gave them a copy of her KTP and drivers licence, we paid a 20,000 fee, were given a slip from the cop shop with all the details and were then free to go! Simple as! No problems from the cops whatsoever, the landlord was fine with it and staying in the kos was surprisingly convenient and comfortable (though probably not everyones cup of tea, certainly no 5 star resort and maybe quite challenging for anyone who hasn't ever lived a little 'roughly' before).

It definately has brought us way closer together, we didn't spend a single minute apart during the 2 weeks and managed to exist side by side without any problems at all. I was absolutely spoiled rotten the whole time and I think at the same time she was blown away by how a 'good' western man treats a lady in return. I cant wait to go back and do it all again!

Thanks to everyone who encouraged me to give it a go, my hotel days are definately over.

Adz

[Person]

Excellent news and thanks for the update. Sometimes the focus is too much on all the things that can go wrong. Your story shows that sometimes everything can go right.

[Adam]

Hi Allan,

Your not wrong there, even after 15 trips there now I learn so much more and more and often a lot of it completely contradicts the ideas you have in your own mind or info that is passed on by others which is merely 'urban myth'.

The biggest learning experience for me this trip I guess was spending so much time with Javanese people. With Ani being Javanese consequently I spent almost all my time around her and her Javanese friends rather than Balinese people. What a truly lovely bunch of people they are too! Very modern and realistic in their thinking and genuinely nice, caring and honest people despite having come from backgrounds of limited means. They certainly were nothing like the stereotype that unfortunately seems to exist within tourists minds (seeded a lot by the Balinese I think, rather than actual experiences). Theres bad apples in every bunch, but that shouldn't put people off getting to know these people as friends.