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Table manners anyone?
My question isn't important or terribly meaningful but it has been bothering me now for a couple of years and I can't decide what to do - so ask the forum.
You may or may not have noticed it but the Balinese tend to smack their lips and schach and splat away when they are eating like a herd of water buffellos. Now this doesn't bother me in the least but the issue is that I have Balinese friends that regularly eat with westerners in a business setting and I have always been concerned that this will put my friends in a very negative light because like it or not table manners are very important to many people and they regard people that don't display theirs as less civilized.
The questions I want to ask has anyone else noticed this or is it just me? And have you mentioned this to any of your Balinese friends and what was their reaction?
Not just the Balinese do this .. it is a way to eat that is throughout this country and the islands of Melanesia ..... problem is eating tastes better that way, like eating with your hands ... ya, I'm sure some folks will contend this .. but until you get it figured out yourself ... you won't know ..
That being said, there is a time and a place for everything ..
A local doing buis. with westerners will many times use a spoon & be more "calm" at the table .. as they already understand the difference in customs .. and it's more "modern" to eat like westerners ...if you have doubts , you might consider explaining the "custom" to your friends/clients , and they will hopefully accept it and not have it interfere with your biz ..
If someone is direct from the kampung, good luck
One thing to keep in mind , these folks eat fast ,they woof their food down .. it's all about filling the belly fast , slowing them down is not an easy task !
Cheers
I'd say - as long as in Indo - the people who visit have to accept it; but if you travel with indonesians to other non-asian countries it's ok to mention it and ask them to adapt & change their table manners.
My father btw loved it (especially the burping part)
My Chinese mate does the same thing, I always remind him he eats like a pig. I find it annoying as hell, especially when I get hit in the face with a half chewed piece of rice.
uaaaaaaaa, similar was very supportive for my diet...seeing the half chewed food in the mouth of my pembantu always made me eat a quarter of the portion on the plate...........Originally Posted by BKT
when she started to show the almost fully chewed food though, looked like a thoothpaste on her tongue and making sounds like a pig i had to ask her to start eating in the kitchen- because someone always has to watch the hot soup boiling there.....
and imho..that first sentence is true.
don't read between the lines..i think the words are clear enough...:)
I mentioned it to my Balinese business partner when we were out for a meal with a friend who was visiting from the UK. This was also my first meal with my business partner in a relaxed setting and I was pretty shocked at the way he basically shoveled food into his never empty but always churning and open mouth. I could see that it came as a surprise to him that I should even notice, let alone mention this. I make every attempt to accept people for who and what they are. I'm not one that labels people without getting to know them first but as a species I guess we do start the judging process by assessing a certain collection of criteria. Manners, vocabulary, appearance etc etc. Whilst it is in my opinion such a shame we do this it is the way we are. On one hand it was good for me to see this in a relatively relaxed and recreational environment which now allows me to be forewarned should I need to set up business meetings that may require his presence.
This in no way changes my respect for the individual. It does allow me though to steer him away from any potential meetings where he may be judged by others based on this trait. This is the way Indonesian's, and the majority of Asia and the south Pacific populations eat, hell in China, Central and South America, Iran, Turkey and the majority of India is the same. It is those who think they are better than others, the refined, who need to be more accepting of the people around them.
Cheers,
Mark.
.... what a helpful thread!!! Now I know where my family and I get the habit of eating so fast!! Generations of bule in Indonesia and you adapt their ways.......
I have to add though that when I lived in Munich I worked for an architect (millionaire) and his table manners were not very European - more like the Chinese described further up. So whenever he has business meetings and wanted to take his partners out for a meal I always suggested a place with mainly finger food. No rice, pasta or potatoes or anything that needed cutting. Saved me (and my previous) boss from many embarrassing moments.
I'm not really directly affected by this behaviour as my friends smack and slop their food as and when they do normally and that's their good right in their culture to do what they want to.
I guess I want to find a non-invasive way of telling my friend, who has to dine with foreigners on a regular basis, what he is doing and what it means to his being accepted as a full-value business partner without offending him or affecting our relationship.
Maybe a secret letter?
I have tried to lead by good example but that, I'm afraid, doesn't get noticed.
How about explaining Balinese table manners to your Western visitors. Should they not be the ones adapting to the country they visit?
Come to think about it, tell your visitors to smack as well
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