Thread: Westerners through the eyes of Asians

When I first started Henry's article, I thought I was reading a piece of social satire on the order of Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal. Slowly it dawned on me that he seemed quite serious. This is a fascinating, timely topic, and one which I would think would be of interest to the expat community, so I am somewhat puzzled by the lack of commentary so far.
I obviously have not read the book, but I'd like to share a couple of reviews that I found in the Amazon.com book reviews. Again, I did NOT write the following; they were in fact both written by Filipina women:

(From Amazon.com reviews):

How the exploiter becomes the exploited, November 12, 2002
Reviewer: A reader from Virginia
If you are interested in the perspective of an unhappy, middle-aged white male with seriously warped views about love and relationships,this is the book for you! And if you especially like books that lack cultural sensitivity, you will love this whine-fest told in the most pathetic of tones,designed to make you feel for the protagonist, the author himself. He attempts to engage you in his journey in lavish detail about how coming to meet his island bride is "a romantic adventure". Don't be fooled - in reality, it is a documentary of a predator at work: single middle-aged male on the prowl for young flesh, and uses the institution of marriage as a tool to bed his prey. For the author, where better to look than in developing nations where the poor are most vulnerable? Yes, he illustrates clearly how in such a compromised place as the southern Philippine countryside, opportunists abound- but who are you to complain, dear author, if you go there with the sole purpose of seizing opportunity yourself?

Consistently resisting the urge to rip up the book in shreds during the course of my reading, I pledged to myself that I would read it to the end and keep an open mind so as to really see if there is any point to this egotistical, self-righteous account of a supposedly embattled male narrator. And in the end I am glad I read it all. It does after all, have a moral or lesson just like Aesop's fables: You can't treat a poor country like it is a shopping mall where you go to purchase a bride, and worse, try to justify it as a search for love. Those who think they can do this,will get what's coming to them sooner or later.

The author also wishes you to empathize with him as a victim- a victim of society, a victim of the lack of love from his parents, a victim of his ex-wives, a victim of his child-bride, and a victim of feminists everywhere. But after all is said and done you realize that this author is indeed a victim- only, he is a victim not of all the people he wishes to blame for his misery, but of his own stupidity.

I am Filipina, born and raised in the country that people like this author so often come to exploit. I am educated, independent, and proud of who I am. I am in a perfectly happy heterosexual relationship,in which I am proudly an equal. I am neither submissive nor stupid; just like the many women who are my sisters,friends and colleagues. And for a good part of my life in the Philippines as well as in the US, I have dedicated myself through work, in order to help girls like Cecilia realize that inspite of the prevalent poverty in the Philippines, they have options; that it is education,hard work and dignity that will raise their lives - not the promises of these pathetic men.

I recommend though, that this book be bought by all true teachers and educators in gender, social sciences and
developmental issues. Please use it as a means by which to
show your students the crime and consequences of that which is exploitation. Use it as an example of the very kind of thinking that perpetuates the oppression of women everywhere.


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12 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

sick and twisted - it really doesn't deserve any stars, June 23, 2002
Reviewer: kpatnugot (see more about me) from Santa Monica, CA United States
I just read the reviews and some of the excerpts, and I am so greatly disturbed that I feel it necessary to submit my own two cents. I am a Filipina and I am a feminist. I have witnessed the strange phenomena of the beautiful young Asian female with the nerdy, geeky, or generally just unattractive White male. From what I've read, this book glorifies relationships that are not on equal footing. The author does not want to define his masculinity, but rather is overcompensating for his lack of masculinity by journeying to a third world country to find a subservient wife. If he was just interested in finding a woman who was devoted to her family, he would have found many amongst the ranks of western feminists and non-feminists alike. His problem is most likely that he is not man enough to handle a woman who is his equal. What he wanted was a relationship with a girl not a woman - hence the pedophilic nature of his union.

On another note, if Western men think that all women from Asian or third world countries are docile and submissive, then they have another thing coming. Although I was raised in the U.S., I come from a long line of strong females who care about family, but also care about their own goals, dreams, and destinies. These women were not afraid to talk back to husbands, bosses, and even governments when they felt necessary

get riled up just reading his comments. Think i might pass on this discussion