return to Bali by Wayan Kaysie Sulastri

[truth sayer]

After 3 years, I have been able to return to Bali, where my life, at 18, in 1971, really began. Although most ex-pats love to put down the "Kuta" scene, I found it comforting that the older generation recognize me instantly, at a second's glance, from the young, naive girl I was so long ago. Walking down the street, up from Mata Hari, the street that I married Wayan Murna, where my son Wayan was born, nearly 34 years ago, I still see the pristine paradise that once was Kuta.
Just today, in my small losmen room, outside my window, there is a small piece of an old Balinese wall, entwined with vines, and today I simply sat and stared at that wall, and let myself go back 36 years ago, hearing the sounds of the morning roosters, rice pounding, footsteps that would vibrate the hollow lava ground. No motorcycles, no cars, no tourists, only the "Morning of the World" hardly changed as it had been for centuries. A walk down to Kuta beach, the only white person for miles. Just me and the fisherman, my own private Kuta beach.

Ironically, the very business that brought me here with my parents, the petroleum industry, would be the money that would begin to change Indonesia and Bali forever. That and the surfers and the decision by the Moslem government that they would allow alchohol to be sold everywhere, introduce alchohol, and there goes a culture and a way of life.

Now I sit, in an internet spot, off Poppies lane, my 1st home in Kuta, Wayan Kedin. I was only the 2nd or 3rd tourist to stay there, and i think the 1st woman. I had the original family home, a thatched roof traditional style, and I would lay there at night with the soft breeze, no buildings to block it, cows grazing just behind my room. At night, I would come back from Made's warung, which really was, just a tiny warung, and it would be so dark along Poppies, that the Balinese would whistle so we wouldn't run into each other in the dark, which was so dark, you couldn't see your hand in front of your face at times. Bhutas and Kalas existed and they were frightening and real, now they live in the lust, greed, and exploitation that festers like a cancer.

With the help of many Balinese friends, we are getting out to talk to the younger generation to help them understand the importance of their roots, this was an agricultural society, everything was done as an offering for that. Without agriculture, this culture is doomed, as is the case of my home in Hawaii, there is no more food being grown for the masses and most everything is shipped in, with petrol prices what they are, it is beginning to be a luxury even to have food to eat. I have read and seen about the shortage of rice here, and with more and more building going on, where is the food going to come from? Do you want to ship in coconut juice from Thailand like they do in Hawaii, when coconuts are everywhere? And pay a ransom to have it? You think it won't happen here? Wake up people ITS ALREADY HAPPENING.

If you are thinking of moving to Bali or live in Bali, instead of trying to recreate your life in Australia or Europe or USA, why not try to live more simply, so others can simply live. Otherwise, this "paradise" will only be a memory, or only one the mega rich can afford, that's what happened in Hawaii, but that took 100 years, in Bali, it has happened in less than 40, Talk to the younger generation, convince them that the traditional society of Bali is the only way this place will survive, otherwise, this culture, will be gone, food will be shipped and more and more beggars will roam the streets. My Balinese friends are telling me that even the languages are dying out, not many young people want to bother. When the language is gone, so goes the culture. Food production is paramount.

I will be here only a short time, my former husband would not give in to greed of making money to exploit his island, so I have never been able to have the life here that many of you take for granted. Treasure this place, please, help it's younger generation to get back to the basics, the real wealth of the future lies in food production, not mass development.

[Roy]

A well written and very moving post...selamat! Many thanks for sharing your insights and emotions. My greatest nightmare, the one where I wake up in a sweat, is being back in the states in my old corporate job. I’m actually grateful for that reoccurring dream, as it reminds me just how lucky I am to be living here with an amazing wife, awesome kids, and within a incredible village.

Eri and I are totally committed to raising our three boys as Balinese. As far as our village is concerned, they are Balinese, and as much so as any other of the kids in our village. There will be plenty of time later to learn about dad’s culture.

Many thanks again for contributing what I think is the best post here in a long time.

BTW, in case you don’t already know, you’ll be happy to learn that quite a number of hectares of sawah in Tabanan will soon be added to UNESCO as protected property. At least that is a step in the right direction in saving Bali’s rice fields from the developer’s shovel.

[Ipanema]

Yes I have to agree with Roy, a excellent post and one from the heart.

Thank you for sharing.

[truth sayer]

thanks guys, I know I have been a bit radical in the past, it just hurts so very much to see the difference of the Bali that I married into and the one it has become. Blessings to all of you who support the local culture, and encourage the young generation to go back to the basics, and not to be enamoured by what they perceive with the Western tourists as "happiness."

The Balinese taught me about the eternal nature and duty of the living being. It isn't about getting as much material enjoyment as possible, but to truly be happy, we must question why are we here, what is our life about, and why do we suffer? The Vedic civilization, as with Balinese Hindu Dharma system is this: the human being has a certain amount of energy, better energy than the animals, better consciousness and that energy should be utilized for spiritual advancement. Everything we do, everything we receive, should be offered back from whence it came, the yoga of devotion, bakti yoga. This is the correct way for humans to live, let's all remember why we love Bali so much, for this is what Balinese life is about.

[truth sayer]

By the way Roy, I used to have the exact dream, unfortunately for me, it came true! I am still working on moving here one of these days, my sons Wayan and Made both would also like to, but it's the age old question, "How to make the money to support our life here, without exploiting any more. I still have faith it will happen, I really want my sons to marry Balinese girls!

[Roy]

Sorry to say, I only have boys, but my family is full up with girls!

When I first married Eri, her entire family was comprised of only girls. In fact, there hadn’t been a boy birth in her entire family for over 20 years, that being Eri’s youngest brother, Ketut. Then I showed up, head over heals in love with her mom’s third born child, second daughter and I suspect my “to be” mom in law just threw up her hands and said something like, “why not?”

Twelve months later, bang! There is Bima! Wow! My mother in law went nuts. Then, 15 months after that, bang again....Rama. By then, my mother in law thinks that maybe I can walk on water. Luckily she never asked me to try that out! Not long after Rama, Komang (the barbarian) was born, and that clinched it with my mother in law.

Funny thing is, my wife Eri knows very well, that if we have any sort of dispute, all I have to do is visit with Ibu, and she hasn’t a chance in hell!

Yin and Yang is a marvelous thing, a concept that blows the mind when one thinks about how it is often achieved. For your two boys, I expect the same kind of things will eventually happen for them...and if they desire to return to Bali to live, they will. I wouldn’t worry (which I know is stupid to say, as all parents worry), but I would continue to seek your strength in the manner that you already do, day by day.

If ever up this way in Ubud with your boys, drop us a PM so we can get together, have a swim, some good eats and some good conversation. Cheers!

[truth sayer]

Hi Roy, I appreciate your sharing about your family, I love your boys names, mine are Subali and Sugriva, the monkey brothers of Hanuman, Balinese love it when I tell them that.

My sons aren't with me this trip, I would be so happy if we could be here together, but life has to go on, work and all that. Made Sugriva usually makes it here once a year, he has a job that pays for is vacation time. Wayan has only been here once since he was very small, and that was for his father's cremation 2 years ago. It is so expensive in Hawaii and to get here from Hawaii, and he is inclined to be a bit more self-satisfied and more advanced than me, he is content with life at every moment. Much like a traditional Balinese, he doesn't ask for much out of life, simple living, high thinking.

I will be here til May 1, if I get up to Ubud, would you be interested in introducing me to your family, I would really like it! Would take me back to the "good old days" :D

[Roy]

Absolutely would enjoy meeting you. I'll send you a PM with our phone numbers. Cheers, Roy

[sooze]

What a wonderful story Wayan. I'm back in Bali for 8 weeks in August, and every time I go, I try and see something different each time. I work with people with intellectual disabilities here in Oz, and last year went to visit some schools for learning disorders in Bali. This year my friend who is Indonesian and his girlfriend who is Aussie are taking us to Java to visit his family and their way of life. I can't wait for yet another experience of things I know nothing about. But want to.

[mileage]

I drifted off there for a second Wayan, you paint a perfect picture. I wish I had experienced Bali in the 70's. I have however experienced a less westernized Indonesia on a far away eastern island, so I can relate to those good ol' days where you only ate what was farmed within a 5km radius, read books by candle light, and rode a bicycle when exploring.
Drifting off again now........... Thanks for the memory jog.......

I still love Kuta! I remember describing my first visit there in '92 to my mates back home as like "The Perth Royal Show on acid."