The last few weeks

[mimpimanis]

I have been away the last few weeks, if anyone noticed.

My mum got sick, was admitted to hospital. Five days after being admitted she was diagnosed with cancer & given 2/3 weeks to live. 3 Days later I brought her home to nurse here, as her wish was to die at home not in hospital & I was also very distressed at the way she was being cared for in the hospital. Two weeks to the day, after the diagnosis she died. Her funeral was yesterday, it was just as she & I planned, it was beautiful, even down to her bamboo coffin!

I miss her terribly, she was a huge part of my life & I feel like life will never be the same again. But I will be going back to work tomorrow & need to try & pull myself together & get back to some sort of normality. So will try to be around the boards here a bit more.

Gemma

[Irislahay]

Mimpimanis...

I am very sorry to hear about your mom... Turut Berdukacita, Mimpimanis...

[jodymc]

Hi Gemma,

Your loss will be felt for a long time, be kind to yourself and allow the emotions to flow, it is part of the healing process.

I send warm comforting thoughts to you.

Jody (Melbourne but hopefully soon Bali)

[drbruce]

Mimpi,

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. I know how hard it is to lose a parent, espccially one that you are very close to. Our best thoughts and wishes.

Bruce

[Tracey]

Oh Gemma,
I have followed your story & your closeness with your Mum for years now via various forums as you know.
Just reading this now & I am crying, partly because I knew how much you worried about your dear Mum whenever you were away from her, you felt guilty being in Lombok with Made whilst she was ill in the UK etc....
I always read how close you both were & how much you both loved each other.
I hope now you will be able to settle in Lombok for once & for all knowing your Mum is looking over you & Made in Lombok & guiding you.

I hope you don't have any guilt from bewing away from her all those times as she really wanted you to have your own life.

I am happy that you managed to give her to the gods the way she had wanted....

I hope you are healing & finding the strength to carry on, just as your Mum would have wanted!

Wish I could reach out & give you a hug... Much Love & strength to you....

[Bert Vierstra]

Sorry to hear that mimpi...., all the best...

bamboo coffin

:?:

[Roy]

Gemma, I am very sorry to hear of the loss of your mom. I lost mine on Mother’s Day two years ago this coming month. She was in the last stages of preparing her permanent move to Bali when she suffered a heart attack. We had her place all set for her, etc. and it was a terrible shock to us all, including my wife Eri with whom she had become very close.

In the end we had her ashes sent to me in Bali and we had a wonderful Hindu purification ceremony for her at the sea. This was important for me as it provides me a sense that she did in fact move to Bali and in a way, is still here with us. Anyway you can get yourself to believe that your mum is still with you, helps greatly. My sincere condolences to you and your family.

[InAdelaide]

Hi sorry to hear about your mum..My mum died about 3 weeks after being diagnosed with cancer 10 years ago she was 66 ... was very hard to watch her waste away..When mum died i was busy at work and just kept on working...but it hit me about 6 months later and i really struggled for some time...The thing I learnt was it pays to take some time off and spend with family and friends and to let ourself grieve our loss..My father died recently at 82 and although still a shock i seem to have coped better this time

[Thorsten]

Dear Gemma,

I'm sorry to hear hear about your mother, please take my sincere condolences.

Yesterday, we burried my grandmother, who died Friday morning, she was 93 years old and suffering Alzheimer for some years.
She died after having breakfast without suffering for a second, so this is much easier to accept.

Two year ago, I lost my father very surprising and this was a dramatically incident to us, InAdelaide made a very good point.
Share your mourning, your memories, thoughts and emotions with the people close to you and give it some time.
It takes time to get over this, don't try to push asside emotions whenever they rise, very often this will lead into a depression.

Wish you all the best
Thorsten

[mimpimanis]

Thank you all for your kind messages.

Bert, you seem surprised at the bamboo coffin. We got it from a wildlife sanctuary. It was made out of split bamboo. They are quite popular here now, that & rattan coffins.

Tracy, I have no guilt at my time away in Lombok. Infact I feel good in knowing that I did everything exactly as she wanted, from bringing her home to die & nursing her at home down to every last detail of her funeral which we planned together a few days before she died.

I will be taking mum's ashes to Lombok with me & planting a tree in her memory.

I would like now to make the permanent move to Lombok but our kiosk & homestay do not generate enough income yet for me to afford to. However we will be in the new Rough Guide that will come out later this year, so maybe things will pick up a bit then. Returning to the Uk to work will be more difficult for me though, without mum to stay with. Her apartment was only rented, they are allowing me to stay on in it until the end of June which allows me to finish my contract at work.

Thank you all again.
Gemma